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Help with hitting & punishment for doing so

Mee83shellMee83shell member
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

So LO is now hitting ALL the time. EVERY single time he gets upset and angry, he hits.  He hits us, the dogs, my parents...if he gets angry, he hits.  We have been slapping his hands which hasn't worked.  It doesn't do a thing at all. He comes right back and hits us.

I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know what else to do. Tonight we're removing him from the situation and ignoring him (ie, don't give him the attn he's trying to get) and then if he comes back & does it again, we're putting him in "time out." Well, the problem with "time out" is, he's giggling and thinking it's a game when I sit him back down. Even the "mom voice" and "the finger" aren't helping the situation any.

Please help...any suggestions?

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Re: Help with hitting & punishment for doing so

  • vmm0016vmm0016
    Yikes!  I don't know how to help but wanted to say I don't think slapping his hand is good but I really don't know. 
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  • tripthelightfantasticktripthelightfantastick
    Ugh, I don't know. I just asked about biting. We tell DD no bitting and she doesn't listen either, so I'm interested in what others might say.
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  • Mee83shellMee83shell member

    imagevmm0016:
    Yikes!  I don't know how to help but wanted to say I don't think slapping his hand is good but I really don't know. 

    Right. I agree. Because you're saying don't hit and then doing it back. Totally the wrong message but at 1 I'm not sure how else to discipline. I'm lost and frustrated! UGH

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  • jennylynne_01jennylynne_01
    How long have you guys been smacking his hands? Chances are he picked up the hitting from you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging you by any means but the only thing smacking teaches is that it's OK to hit. He may be learning that everytime you get frustrated you smack his hands and now he's repeating it (from what you said he's already smacking you back when you hit his hands). I think maybe the approach of telling him no hitting and removing him is more effect give, just give it time and maybe the hitting will phase out if you try the latter approach.
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  • AMYfromKYAMYfromKY member

    I will never understand the logic of hitting his hand.

    "No honey don't hit....oh well I know I hit you, but it's ok for adults to hit"  Really...what kind of logic is that.

    He is a baby/toddler and he is going to hit.  If he gets mad and hits you need to sit him down and ignore him.  He may think it's a game at first, but he will (eventually) get the picture.

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  • jennylynne_01jennylynne_01
    imagejennylynne_01:
    How long have you guys been smacking his hands? Chances are he picked up the hitting from you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging you by any means but the only thing smacking teaches is that it's OK to hit. He may be learning that everytime you get frustrated you smack his hands and now he's repeating it (from what you said he's already smacking you back when you hit his hands). I think maybe the approach of telling him no hitting and removing him is more effect give, just give it time and maybe the hitting will phase out if you try the latter approach.
    Effective, I mean, not effect give. Damn Droid! :)
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  • Mee83shellMee83shell member

    imagejennylynne_01:
    How long have you guys been smacking his hands? Chances are he picked up the hitting from you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging you by any means but the only thing smacking teaches is that it's OK to hit. He may be learning that everytime you get frustrated you smack his hands and now he's repeating it (from what you said he's already smacking you back when you hit his hands). I think maybe the approach of telling him no hitting and removing him is more effect give, just give it time and maybe the hitting will phase out if you try the latter approach.

    I guess I should have clarified. We're only been smacking his hand for a day or two. He's been hitting for WEEKS.

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  • Mee83shellMee83shell member
    imageAMYfromKY:

    I will never understand the logic of hitting his hand. There isn't any, which is exactly why I'm asking for help :-) I know it's giving him mixed signals but at 1 I didn't know what else to do!!

    "No honey don't hit....oh well I know I hit you, but it's ok for adults to hit"  Really...what kind of logic is that.

    He is a baby/toddler and he is going to hit.  If he gets mad and hits you need to sit him down and ignore him.  He may think it's a game at first, but he will (eventually) get the picture. Tough, but I know that eventually it will work!

    CafeMom TickersCafeMom Tickers
    1/1 Spotting, 1/3 beta 36,000, 1/5 u/s empty sac measuring 7w (9w5d), 1/6 d&c
    You will always be loved & missed our sweet angel.
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  • AMYfromKYAMYfromKY member
    imageMee83shell:
    imageAMYfromKY:

    I will never understand the logic of hitting his hand. There isn't any, which is exactly why I'm asking for help :-) I know it's giving him mixed signals but at 1 I didn't know what else to do!!

    "No honey don't hit....oh well I know I hit you, but it's ok for adults to hit"  Really...what kind of logic is that.

    He is a baby/toddler and he is going to hit.  If he gets mad and hits you need to sit him down and ignore him.  He may think it's a game at first, but he will (eventually) get the picture. Tough, but I know that eventually it will work!

    It takes a lot of patience.  There have been times I almost smach DS's hands, but then I take a step back and think what is it really going to accomplish.  It is going to make me a baby hitter which I am totally against and it is going to send him the wrong message.

    Ignoring bad behavior seems to work well for us..  Of course he is 1 so he still repeats bad behaviors, but they are already less prevalent.  Stick with it! 

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  • Mee83shellMee83shell member
    imageAMYfromKY:
    imageMee83shell:
    imageAMYfromKY:

    I will never understand the logic of hitting his hand. There isn't any, which is exactly why I'm asking for help :-) I know it's giving him mixed signals but at 1 I didn't know what else to do!!

    "No honey don't hit....oh well I know I hit you, but it's ok for adults to hit"  Really...what kind of logic is that.

    He is a baby/toddler and he is going to hit.  If he gets mad and hits you need to sit him down and ignore him.  He may think it's a game at first, but he will (eventually) get the picture. Tough, but I know that eventually it will work!

    It takes a lot of patience.  There have been times I almost smach DS's hands, but then I take a step back and think what is it really going to accomplish.  It is going to make me a baby hitter which I am totally against and it is going to send him the wrong message.

    Ignoring bad behavior seems to work well for us..  Of course he is 1 so he still repeats bad behaviors, but they are already less prevalent.  Stick with it! 

    Thanks :-)

    CafeMom TickersCafeMom Tickers
    1/1 Spotting, 1/3 beta 36,000, 1/5 u/s empty sac measuring 7w (9w5d), 1/6 d&c
    You will always be loved & missed our sweet angel.
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