ASD moms- anyone having a tough time with Halloween?

bigapplebride · October 2010

UGH

I had a rough time trying to get DD in her Halloween costume last year. I bought several and she finally wore the Mini Mouse dress after weeks of having her put it on while her home ABA teacher was here.

Well, we don't have home ABA anymore and H and I both work full time. I've been struggling since September, just to get the homework completed with my two girls, get dinner, read to them get them in bed etc.

I haven't taken the time to "practice" Halloween. I just don't think about it while I'm doing my regular lunatic daily routine.

Anyway, I tried to get DD in her costume from last year and she said "NO" and threw it on the floor. We have a million princess dresses so I asked if she wanted the others and she said "NO!." I tried the Dr costume (simple scrubs) but no dice. I even tried to get her to wear regular stretch pants with a little (simple) dress up fairy skirt that she plays in. NOPE!

Tomorrow is the parade at kindergarten. I guess I'll send in the mini mouse dress and the stretch pants+ skirt or maybe the scrubs and see if the teacher can get her in them.

I don't know, I'm just frustrated. Should I just get used to the idea that my twins won't even be able to celebrate Halloween together? My other DD is so excited for the holiday and loves to spend time with her sister. I feel like this might be easier if they were like 5-6 years apart.

Any ideas/suggestions?

hopanka · October 2010

I'm sorry you're having a tough time, but sometimes it is what it is. Don't beat yourself up that you didn't have time to practice. Honestly, who has time to practice costumes for a month? Cut yourself some slack, you can't be superwoman. Just like you said, send a couple choices of costumes with her, and if the teacher is able to put one on her, great, if not....the sun will rise again tomorrow morning.

bugmommy · October 2010

We've had problems with stuff like this in the past. Both of my guys have ASD. For my older DS things like this do have to be prepped for as well. However, it has less to do with actually practicing wearing the costume and more to do with telling him things like "in 5 days we are going to have a parade at school". Then I go into detail about how we're going to wear our costume to school and then have a party and there will be cupcakes (or something he really loves). If your DD is visual, calendars are a great aid for this. Since your DD seems to wear costumes around the house, I'm wondering if this change in routine isn't more of her issue than the actual costume since she seems to wear them around the house. I also found a Countdown to Halloween calendar with chocolates at Target this year (think Advent calendar) that was a good incentive for us. This is the sort of stuff you can talk about in the car, at dinner, etc. that takes less time that toting out the actual costume. Maybe that's all you need or maybe it wouldn't be ideal for her but would get you through.

For ToT we talked about how to ring the bell, say ToT, etc. We practiced at our backdoor once over the weekend and we keep talking about it. I set the bar low last year and figured if we made it to 3 houses we rocked it. They did great and I'm hoping we make it a lot further this year. He is very excited about it, so I'm praying this is our year.

It is frustrating especially with the two. My younger DS has PDD-NOS, but is almost the exact opposite of my older DS. Doesn't mind mixing up his routine, very social, etc. and I feel like their needs constantly compete. Hang in there.

On a completely unrelated note, its Thanksgiving I hate prepping for He hates the food and the 87 billion people around and I spend the whole time waiting for a meltdown. Sigh.

hopanka · October 2010

bugmommy:

We've had problems with stuff like this in the past. Both of my guys have ASD. For my older DS things like this do have to be prepped for as well. However, it has less to do with actually practicing wearing the costume and more to do with telling him things like "in 5 days we are going to have a parade at school". Then I go into detail about how we're going to wear our costume to school and then have a party and there will be cupcakes (or something he really loves). If your DD is visual, calendars are a great aid for this. Since your DD seems to wear costumes around the house, I'm wondering if this change in routine isn't more of her issue than the actual costume since she seems to wear them around the house. I also found a Countdown to Halloween calendar with chocolates at Target this year (think Advent calendar) that was a good incentive for us. This is the sort of stuff you can talk about in the car, at dinner, etc. that takes less time that toting out the actual costume. Maybe that's all you need or maybe it wouldn't be ideal for her but would get you through.

For ToT we talked about how to ring the bell, say ToT, etc. We practiced at our backdoor once over the weekend and we keep talking about it. I set the bar low last year and figured if we made it to 3 houses we rocked it. They did great and I'm hoping we make it a lot further this year. He is very excited about it, so I'm praying this is our year.

It is frustrating especially with the two. My younger DS has PDD-NOS, but is almost the exact opposite of my older DS. Doesn't mind mixing up his routine, very social, etc. and I feel like their needs constantly compete. Hang in there.

On a completely unrelated note, its Thanksgiving I hate prepping for He hates the food and the 87 billion people around and I spend the whole time waiting for a meltdown. Sigh.

THIS! We do a count-down to almost EVERYTHING on the planet. He crosses days off on his own calendar and we also talk in detail what things are going to happen, when and why. DS is not good with surprises.

The other day, DH and DS went to our local park and they saw his buddy from school and his parents. Mind you...this is a boy he's known since they were babies, the go to the same classroom, to karate after school and have playdates at least once a week. DS loves the whole family.

BUT - since he wasn't prepared that J was going to be at the park....a huge meltdown occured, sobbing that J is not suppossed to be at the park, his parents do not belong there either....they belong in their house where he goes to see them and they also belong in the classroom where they drop J off. He would not have anything to do with them or go near them. As if they were the biggest, scariest monsters ever. Ugh...what a moment, I tell ya. Luckily, they're good folks and our friends and they get it.

Lion&Hokie · November 2010

This year we did a better job prepping him for Halloween (between the preK, daycare and home) - even DVR'ed Max and Ruby and Team Umizoomi Halloween shows. His costume was Super Why! and it came with the eye mask which he refused to wear so we ditched that.

The hiccup came yesterday for our 'hood parade/magician party. The past 3 years it's been parade, then magician. So we get there and surprise - they decided to put on the magician first. Well he wasn't going to sit still for a show so he played out in the park to try and bide the time. 45 min was still not enough, he had a meltdown (including biting husband twice) and we went home.

I was so upset (well the pregnancy hormones don't help) b/c like auntie wrote, the soft losses suck. But once we got home and he was able to mellow out, the trick-or-treating was fine. Well, except for us trying to keep him from running into the street, neighbor's houses, etc.

Now, he wants to keep Halloween alive - a new challenge to try to explain it's over!

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ASD moms- anyone having a tough time with Halloween?

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