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Has anyone had to meet with a parent coordinator?
My ex's lawyer is stipulating that we meet with a parent coordinator (psychologist) on a regular basis to work through co-parenting issues. This will be instead of doing a custody evaluation. I can't think of anything I'd rather not do then spend an hour a week in a small room with Deadbeat, although if it means a better life for DS in the long run, I'm up for it. Has anyone had to do this? I'm wondering what to expect.
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Re: Has anyone had to meet with a parent coordinator?
We are doing this right now, in fact we have a session this afternoon. We've had 3 sessions so far and we will be doing it for 3 months. We chose to do it on our own.
Honestly, I hate it. But I'm glad we're doing it. At the moment we can't hold a normal conversation without our counselor present, but I am hopeful that we'll be able to work through things by the end of the therapy so that we can coparent more effectively... They say that kids of divorced parents who are able to get along do much better than kids of parents who continue to fight, so basically I am doing it for Caro's sake even though it sucks right now.
What we've done so far is go through our past issues that led to the divorce, and try to understand each others' point of view a little bit. And we've also started trying to work out agreements as to visitation and stuff like that. I'm not sure what else you can expect... it's probably pretty different for everyone depending on what the issues between you are, and what stage of the divorce you are at. It's emotionally exhausting, I can tell you that much. But hopefully worth it in the long run.
I once read this article in some parenting magazine about a couple who got divorced and did something like this, and I remember the woman saying that the sessions were absolutely horrible and they had so much anger and bitterness, but that they were able to work through it to have a civil (even friendly) relationship and that their children were so much better off for it. I remember thinking that I respected them so much for being able to do that, and that when I got divorced (at that point it was already "when", not "if") I wanted to try to do the same thing for my daughter. We'll see if we can get there
Wow. I have so much respect for YOU for doing it.
Jesus though, I seriously can't think of anything I'd rather not do than go over the issues that led up to Deadbeat leaving with Deadbeat!! I'm very committed to working on my own process in my own intensive therapy, but I consider that so private and in no way want that kind of intimacy with Deadbeat.
Well don't respect me too much. I freaking hate Fridays because of these damn sessions. I just got back from it and I'm contemplating carving his face into a pumpkin and putting a knife in the side of it. LOL
But seriously, I think it depends a lot on the issues that led you to this point, as to whether or not things can be "resolved"... I hope it goes okay for you.
My ex and I can't hold a normal conversation either. I think the two of us need to go because if he ever decides to see his son again I wont be able to deal with him. How did you find the person you see? Are they just a psychologist that deals with family relationships?
"There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."
Our therapist is a couples counselor who is also a psychologist. We found her through my STBXH's health insurance. GL!