What to do with my chatty 9 year old?

MsKellDel · October 2010

I am at wit's end with him and his behavior in school. He is constantly talking, interrupting, and getting lunch detentions as a result of it. His grades are not affected though but I am sure it disrupts the class and other students. He understands it is wrong and every morning we discuss trying to have a better day and keeping the yap shut but nothing gives. We have punished him in his room, taken away things, kept him home from sporting events and his organized leagues, threatened him with having to change schools which really upsets him but still, no change.

I already had a meeting with his teacher at the end of the last month. He suggested working with him for a month and if no improvement, he will have to meet with the guidance counselor to discuss issues of ADD/ADHD.

It is now the end of the month with no improvement and I am just so tired of telling him the same thing over and over again. Every day is a different excuse- Jake was telling a joke and I laughed really loud or Susie asked me for help and I wanted to show her the right answer or I just couldn't keep my comment to myself.

I know the meeting is going to be suggested and I am not against it. It is just we went through this before in 1st and 2nd grades and he seen two doctors and a therapist whom all agreed it was not ADD. I do realize though that now he is older so it may be easier to determine. I don't want to seem like a mother in denial, I just feel like so many teachers push this when sometimes it is just a difficult student.

I am trying to keep an open mind and would appreciate any suggestions, recommendations on books, anything that may help. Thanks!!

mrsskiz · October 2010

I would like to hear other peoples advice because I am in the exact same boat. Its so frusterating to be stuck like this.

Surfinbride · October 2010

I sympathize with you. My daughter is also a talker. She talks from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to sleep. She has many fascinating facts that she has to share. She feels compelled to tell everyone how things work... what happened earlier... about her dog... about her cat... something she saw somewhere... it never stops. Even when she plays alone, she is talking. If she goes to the bathroom, she'll talk or sing while in there.

She was recently diagnosed with ADHD at 8 years old. We suspected that in earlier years, but they did not label it. They said that it was difficult to diagnose because most ___ (fill in the year, kindergarten, 1st grade) children have a hard time paying attention. All kids will get excited or distracted and interrupt at times. If you are around many kids (as teachers are), you notice those kids that fall outside the norm. Some kids have more difficulty containing their thoughts. They feel like they must speak up. It isn't your son's fault. It's like his brain is just bursting with information... so, he feels like he needs to open his mouth and let it out.

Has your son had a neuropsychological evaluation? They look at multiple factors, gather input from you/family/teachers, and perform some tests with your child. Once you have it figured out, you can better understand what would be most helpful.

littlemermaid · October 2010

Has the teacher tried sitting him by himself so his desk is not near anybody elses? I would ask the teacher to move his desk so he sits by himself and see if that works.

I agree with you that it seems like the remedy for every disruptive behavior is to drug up your child. I feel drugs should only be used for extreme cases, not for the majority.

MrsSR · October 2010

I teach 3rd and I'd move him so he's sitting alone, especially for seatwork. Is there anyway you can go in and observe?

MsKellDel · October 2010

I did request he sit on his own but the teacher hasn't put it in force yet and to make it harder they sit at tables in groups of five. I think I am going to email him and discuss that option again. It worked well for him in grades 1-3 and he didn't feel like it was a punishment since he understood why.

blueshirt2003 · October 2010

We are in the same boat with our almost 7 year old. He talks and talks and talks during class and will rough house on the playground and then get into trouble for it while the child he was playing with doesn't. It's really frustrating.

He goes to a counselor (just 2 sessions in) and she says so far that he isn't displaying ADD or ADHD symptoms.

It's so incredibly frustrating. The counselor told us that we are skating on a fine line because we basically have his teacher and the school implying to him that he's a bad student and it's carrying over into his attitude and what he thinks of himself. I hate this.

neverblushed · October 2010

littlemermaid:
Has the teacher tried sitting him by himself so his desk is not near anybody elses? I would ask the teacher to move his desk so he sits by himself and see if that works.
I agree with you that it seems like the remedy for every disruptive behavior is to drug up your child. I feel drugs should only be used for extreme cases, not for the majority.

I agree with the first paragraph. Of course, if you've already dealt with this in earlier grades, the teacher might have tried this. But I would go with preferential seating in the classroom before taking your child for an evaluation.

As far as the second paragraph goes, there are lots of kids with ADD/ADHD who aren't on meds at all. I teach gifted/learning-disabled kids, and I'd say that 90% have ADD/ADHD in their diagnoses somewhere, but only about 15% are on meds for it. We rely on other strategies to help kids maintain focus and control impulses.

And, if a specialist really determines that a child benefits from medication, and it makes the child's life easier, I would not consider it "drugging the child up" at all. I'd think of it in the same category as giving antibiotics when a kid has an ear infection, or whatever.

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