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ugh my FIL is a 2 yr old

AJBMD915AJBMD915 member
in 2nd Trimester

So FIL has been helping DH build our back deck.  This was supposed to be the 4th and last day.  Over the weekend I got asked to come outside and give my opinion on spindle spacing.  I said I was worried they were too far apart and DD could get her head caught.  FIL goes on and on about how his spacing is correct.  Fine, whatever, don't know why you asked for my opinion.  Do what you want.

DH comes in today and asks me to go outside and give my opinion again on the width of the step.  I want it the full 8 ft.  I said I didn't want to go out again when he and FIL had already made up their minds and FIL was going to talk down to me and explain why his way was best.  DH and I went back and forth for 5 min and I finally went out.  FIL explains why it should be 4ft wide instead of 8.  I say it's too narrow, I don't like it.  DH suggests 5, I say it's not symmetrical.  Before I had a chance to give my usual "here's what I think, do what you want," FIL throws the spindle on the deck (yes throws).  Says "I'm going back to Rochester, call me when you're done battling it out."

He and DH go back and forth while I'm walking w/ DD back to the house.  I look back and say "why do you even ask me to come out here then if you don't want my opinion?"  Of course he's hard of hearing and didn't hear me.  This is not the first time this has happened.  On our bedroom project I didn't come upstairs fast enough to tell him the drywall looked good so he stormed out.  Everyone just enables him, it's ridiculous.  He just wants to hear "yes, it looks awesome, you're amazing and so smart, do whatever you think is right."  I think what he needs is a swift kick to the nuts. 

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Re: ugh my FIL is a 2 yr old

  • AJBMD915AJBMD915 member
    oh yeah, and he pees on my floor every time he goes to the bathroom.  Not really pertaining to the title of my post, it just makes me mad.
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  • mommydalemommydale
    I hate it when they do that. Seriously, if you've made up your mind what is my opinion going to matter.  And I swear some men just can not aim it in to the toilet!!!!
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  • littlefamilyof4littlefamilyof4

    haha. are we sure we dont have the same FIL??? Seriously this is how my FIL acts too! it drives me insane. What makes it worse is mine is in a wheel chair now and acts like one big baby and when he cant get his way he cusses and throws things and gets all pissy and pouty...my 4 year old acts better than him...in fact my 4 year old will correct him! ugh. sometimes they just never grow up. and as for the peeing....dont even get me started on that!

    im sorry tho...hopefully things will get better! :) you have my sympathy. 

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  • TheCricketTheCricket member

    It sounds like there is more to the dynamic between the two of you. 

    One thing is certain, it's really great that your FIL would come from Rochester to help your DH build your deck. But yeah, being asked for your opinion when you don't think you are heard is annoying. Just curious - what were his reasons for thiking it would be better at half the size?  Could there be some merit to it?

     And, tell your DH to clean the bathroom floor after his father. Problem solved.

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  • AJBMD915AJBMD915 member
    imageTheCricket:

    It sounds like there is more to the dynamic between the two of you. 

    One thing is certain, it's really great that your FIL would come from Rochester to help your DH build your deck. But yeah, being asked for your opinion when you don't think you are heard is annoying. Just curious - what were his reasons for thiking it would be better at half the size?  Could there be some merit to it?

     And, tell your DH to clean the bathroom floor after his father. Problem solved.

    Surprisingly, there isn't.  Normally he's a really great guy.  But he thinks he knows it all when it comes to construction and home improvement stuff and needs insane amounts of ego stroking.  Me (without prompt): It looks so good, thank you so much!  Him: So, what do you think?  Me: It looks really great! Him: Yeah?  Really, it could go on.

    He didn't know how to tighten the railing at 8 ft other than to build it around the corner, thereby shrinking the size of the steps.  If he doesn't know how to do it, there must not be a way to do it.  DH called the building inspector and he said that it was no problem, build the 8 ft and he'd personally help DH tighten it another way.

    Thanks ladies, glad to know I'm not alone, it's just so annoying being treated like my opinion has no merit.  If you don't want it, don't ask.  It's like he asks for it so he can prove to me how he's right and I'm wrong.

    As to the pee, wish DH would clean it.  He doesn't clean up after himself when he pees on the floor.  I just asked him to, we'll see how that goes.  Not holding my breath.

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  • TheCricketTheCricket member

    imageAJBMD915:
    As to the pee, wish DH would clean it.  He doesn't clean up after himself when he pees on the floor.  I just asked him to, we'll see how that goes.  Not holding my breath.

    I am cracking myself up picturing you leaving newspaper around the toilet(s) in your house. Maybe then they would get the message? Wink

    I envy your new deck, btw.

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  • AJBMD915AJBMD915 member
    imageTheCricket:

    imageAJBMD915:
    As to the pee, wish DH would clean it.  He doesn't clean up after himself when he pees on the floor.  I just asked him to, we'll see how that goes.  Not holding my breath.

    I am cracking myself up picturing you leaving newspaper around the toilet(s) in your house. Maybe then they would get the message? Wink

    hahaha!  I was actually really annoyed after FIL's first potty trip today when I went to take DD to the bathroom and saw a bigger than normal pile so I put down a big pile of paper towels around the toilet.  Unfortunately he used the upstairs bathroom for this 2nd trip and didn't come in again after that.  I already saw a DH drip on it this afternoon.  He clearly didn't get the message :)

    I envy your new deck, btw.

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