2nd Trimester

VBAC / SEX

DH and I have been discussing the possibilities of a VBAC... nothing decided yet... however he really doesn't want me to have a VBAC, he thinks it would be safer for me and baby to do CSection again... anyway the other day we were talkig about  it again, he confessed he's kinda worried that if I have a VBAC sex won't be the same he thinks I'll end up with a huge you know what Embarrassed  is that true? how's your sex life? any complaints from your DH?

Re: VBAC / SEX

  • omg I think I would be offended if my H even went there and said something like that. Anyway I am on kid #4 all vaginal deliveries and I have had no complaints. Surprise
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  • I actually find sex more satisfying since having my dd. (Natural, vaginal birth). My dh says it feels no different.

    The fact of it is- the vaginas a MUSCLE. A muscle thats specifically designed to stretch and go back to size. Kegels can also help bring it back to a tightness, as can using ben-wa balls (once those muscles heal).

    If they only reason hes against a VBAC is because hes worried sex wont be the same, Id personally tell him to shove it. Its YOUR body that carries the baby, YOU are the one to experience the birth. If you want a VBAC, tell him he better get on board.

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  • Um I had a episitomy and I am certainly not "loose". Sex is STILL uncomfortable for me. My OB stitched me up well...
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  • dude...how selfish!!!!!

    VBAC or just any vaginal birth doesn't really change it too much.

    It's not like you'll be a michelle duggar. I could imagine she's a little loose..haha

     

     

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  • My vagina is awesome- after a natural, vaginal birth.. No cuts or tears and subsequently no stitches... He says he can't even tell I had a baby- as far as my vagina is concerned. God made you to make babies- your vagina is also awesome and you will have no complaints after having a vaginal birth.
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  • DH swears it feels the same/better.  I doubt he'd tell me if it didn't...but it sure felt tight as hell for the first few months when we started having sex again. 
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  • imagemonicarosega:
    My vagina is awesome- after a natural, vaginal birth.. No cuts or tears and subsequently no stitches... He says he can't even tell I had a baby- as far as my vagina is concerned. God made you to make babies- your vagina is also awesome and you will have no complaints after having a vaginal birth.

    we need a bump badge. "I pushed out a kid and my vagina is AWESOME"

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  • imageSarahTx5701:

    dude...how selfish!!!!!

    VBAC or just any vaginal birth doesn't really change it too much.

    It's not like you'll be a michelle duggar. I could imagine she's a little loose..haha

     

     



    a little loose, you think?!!  Stick out tongue  lol!!
  • My DH had the same concern and so did a small part of me.  I showed him the risks of a repeat c-section versus the risks of a VBAC.  That helped him, plus I think he realized that it's really what I want now.  Hopefully your DH comes around too if this is what you want.
  • imageailidespain:
    omg I think I would be offended if my H even went there and said something like that. Anyway I am on kid #4 all vaginal deliveries and I have had no complaints. Surprise

    not offended at all... he's simply expressing his concerns and they're not all only regarding sex.
  • Even if you're not offended. Its still pretty shiiit thing to even think about.

    Would he even consider it if you could have a natural delivery and didn't need a c-sec the first time?  Maybe your c sect was elective since he's obviously very concerned about that state of your vag.

    sorry I think this is so weird!!!

     

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  • to tell you the truth i had problems after my csection and my hubby got sex sooner with my VBAC then he did with my section. even with my csection not having sex in a while still was a little uncomfortable as it was post VBAC. i would go for the VBAC if your dr is on board and that is what you want. my hubby has no complaints...well maybe just that is doesn't get it enough lol
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  • imageailidespain:
    omg I think I would be offended if my H even went there and said something like that.

    I don't know I think it's a natural fear. I mean I've thought about that possibility.

    I would feel differently if he were basing his decision solely on that but there are some other major risks associated with VBAC.

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  • Give your DH one of your ponytail holders. Now tell him to stretch it up his arm to his elbow. Then take it off. That's exactly what your vagina will do.

    This will be child no. 3 for me, planning a vag delivery again, had vag deliveries the first 2 times, and I gotta say I definitely wasn't 'loose' after my deliveries!

    Tell him he's a selfish pig because he'd rather you have a major surgery just so his poontang can be 'normal'. I'd give him a tube sock for Christmas and tell him to have fun.

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  • imagemonicarosega:
    My vagina is awesome- after a natural, vaginal birth.. No cuts or tears and subsequently no stitches... He says he can't even tell I had a baby- as far as my vagina is concerned. God made you to make babies- your vagina is also awesome and you will have no complaints after having a vaginal birth.

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  • haha that's what Kegals are for love! The vagina is an amazing organ and has the amazing ability to stretch, and then tighten back up again. I really think if it caused a big issue for women around the globe, we wouldnt be in a population crisis. ;)
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  • imageHyfagal:

    imageailidespain:
    omg I think I would be offended if my H even went there and said something like that.

    I don't know I think it's a natural fear. I mean I've thought about that possibility.

    I would feel differently if he were basing his decision solely on that but there are some other major risks associated with VBAC.

    I agree it's a natural fear FOR US! lol and even if it is a fear of H's he definitely should know better than to say it out loud!

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  • I would have a serious problem if my husband was pushing me to have major surgery that I didn't need just because he was worried about getting some.

    Whether you have another c/s or a VBAC should be based on your medical situation and your own feelings.  Not your husband's libido.

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  • imageiris427:

    I would have a serious problem if my husband was pushing me to have major surgery that I didn't need just because he was worried about getting some.

    Whether you have another c/s or a VBAC should be based on your medical situation and your own feelings.  Not your husband's libido.

    I love you Iris. I was waiting for you to come in and comment

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  • imageSarahTx5701:

    Even if you're not offended. Its still pretty shiiit thing to even think about.

    Would he even consider it if you could have a natural delivery and didn't need a c-sec the first time?  Maybe your c sect was elective since he's obviously very concerned about that state of your vag.

    sorry I think this is so weird!!!

     


    Even if you're not offended. Its still pretty shiiit thing to even think about. nope, I don't see it that way... like I said before, he's just expressing his concerns and that's totally valid. In fact, I'm happy he tells me these things.
    Maybe your c sect was elective since he's obviously very concerned about that state of your vag.   we were planning/hoping for a vaginal birth the first time but it didn't happen due to complications. So this second time we actually have a choice and so we're discussing all the pros/cons... I know he just wants the best for me and the baby... and yes he's concerned about my vagina becuase sex it's very important to us.
  • no, he's not pushing me to do anything and no, our decision is not based on his libido.
  • anyway the other day we were talkig about  it again, he confessed he's kinda worried that if I have a VBAC sex won't be the same he thinks I'll end up with a huge you know what

    sex is very important to us

     

    Sounds to me it's largely influenced on the sexual aspect, which I think is really selfish. JMO

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  • imageGRISMINO:
    imageSarahTx5701:

    Even if you're not offended. Its still pretty shiiit thing to even think about.

    Would he even consider it if you could have a natural delivery and didn't need a c-sec the first time?  Maybe your c sect was elective since he's obviously very concerned about that state of your vag.

    sorry I think this is so weird!!!

     


    Even if you're not offended. Its still pretty shiiit thing to even think about. nope, I don't see it that way... like I said before, he's just expressing his concerns and that's totally valid. In fact, I'm happy he tells me these things.
    Maybe your c sect was elective since he's obviously very concerned about that state of your vag.   we were planning/hoping for a vaginal birth the first time but it didn't happen due to complications. So this second time we actually have a choice and so we're discussing all the pros/cons... I know he just wants the best for me and the baby... and yes he's concerned about my vagina becuase sex it's very important to us.

    well there are risks on both sides and I am glad you are weighing them, but I'm sorry, factoring in your vagina and the tightness or such seems shallow. 

    Its seriously not THAT loose, I guess he envisions giant beef curtains waving around...who knows

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  • I agree, it's a common concern for guys.

    I also would like the Bump badge saying I had a vaginal birth and still have an awesome vagina. Big Smile Sex after having the baby can be painful regardless, since you'll be more dry until you stop breastfeeding and your hormones even out. You just need some lube for awhile, and soon everything goes back to normal.

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  • I had my 1st vaginally and the hubby says everything is the same Wink  No complaints at all!
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