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2nd Trimester
Baby shower frustrations-let's hear yours:)
So, I know when and where my baby shower is.(it was just easier with the upcoming holidays, vacations, etc) My shower is November 14th, a little over 2 weeks away and my family & friends are pissing me off! Atleast 25% of people never rsvp'ed at all so my poor mom has to hunt these people down to see if they are coming. It's at a restaurant so she needs a final head count. People are sooo inconsiderate-when you get the invite decide if your coming or not and rsvp before you lose the damn invitation!!! Grrrrr!
Also, I have been bad, I have been looking at my registry;) I can't help myself, it's so fun to see things being bought & guess who bought it! lol You would think since the shower is soon that people would have bought the important things by now but NOPE! I'm worried that we won't get the things we really need. I know people wait til the last minute but hurry up! lol My damn hormones are making me crazy over the dumbest things these days! Sorry just had to vent:) Let me here your shower venting:)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Baby shower frustrations-let's hear yours:)
Honestly, I have no complaints about my shower. I feel very lucky that my MIL and my SIL and Sis are throwing it for me and doing all the work involved. People always wait 'til last minute to RSVP and many,many people buy last minute. I'm guilty of both of these things.
The last shower I was at, the woman's aunt ended up spending $250 on a breast pump because she picked it up on the way to the shower and it was all that was left on the registry.
My only frustration is registering has me stressed out and my shower is two weeks away. I want it now!
You would think since the shower is soon that people would have bought the important things by now but NOPE! I'm worried that we won't get the things we really need.
Also be prepared to buy the big things, like crib, carseat etc. as most people don't want to spend a ton on a baby shower gift, unless of course it's your Parents.
Im 20 weeks prego but my best friend is 30 weeks, I am throwing her showing (which is on saturday). But I also had to hunt some people down and some STILL have not rsvp'd. I just checked them off as a NO.
And my best friend also checks her registry so its all pretty normal and very frustrating. She too thinks nothing will be bought, but it will!
Try not to stress, just enjoy!
i get frustrated when people rely on their shower to get the things they need....a gift is exactly that, a gift, no one is obligated to buy off your registry...they can get you whatever they want
i get frustrated when people throw their own showers
i get frustrated when guests at my shower steal my thunder
i dont htink i am getting a shower this time around, at least not that i know of... we shall see
I live in NYC, my mom lives in California, my father and sister live in Oregon, my in-laws live 6 hours+ away, and I have very few local friends (recent transport). My complaint is that if I get a shower, I will either have to travel cross-country and therefore not really get any of the "big ticket" (crib, stroller, etc.) because I can't get them back to the city, or everyone I know will have to come to me and again not be able to do the big ticket thing. I mean, I can go to the store myself and buy a couple packs of onesies, but I can't really go out and buy a crib (because of the cost and because getting something that big even a few blocks in Manhattan is ridiculous). My family is trying to figure out how to do something (I'll be visiting them for Thanksgiving and I think we're going to have the family together to do a little family time but not necessarily really a "shower" per se). My DH has offered to fly a couple of friends in because a visit is cost prohibitive (on top of having to buy a gift - it's like getting married all over again and I feel wicked guilty!).
Oh, well, long vent. I think more than anything, I just want to have time with my mom and sister and MIL and SIL to celebrate this awesome thing that is happening (BABY!), but I don't know if it'll end up happening.
I swear to god I'm gonna have a hard time biting my pregnant loud mouth tongue if I open gifts that were not on my registry. Let me clarify though. handmade and/or crafty gifts are always welcome, as are cute clothes and all that other crap. But at my friend's baby shower, her mother went out of her way to buy her a boucy seat thing that WASN'T on the registry. So someone got her the bouncy seat that WAS on her registry, and her dumb mother, who made it a point to mouth off about how she neeeeever buys off registries, got her a second bouncy seat that she didn't want.
I don't even want a shower because I hate everybody. Let's hope I'm not in this mood the day of my shower or else my whole family is getting punched in the face.
totally OT but we have the same due date! (my ticker is off) yay!!
Im sorry, but why would you have a baby knowing that a crib is to costly?
My shower was in CA (I live in IL) and my dad got the high chair, he just ordered it at the store and i picked it up at the store in my area
so location doesnt really make a difference
Oh my... your clarification didn't help. Bahaha.
Well I just mean that I think it's annoying when you register for a certain thing and some jerk that thinks they know better gets it for you, but slightly modifies it so it's what THEY want. Like, if I register for the little baby squishy poo poo swing, do not get me the farm animals choo choo delite swing.
But I'll still take responsibility for being a brat in that post.
I'm not having one, so if anyone actually gets me a single thing reguardless if its on the registery i made (at the request of close friends and family that live far away) I will be happy if anyone gets me anything.
So far hubby and I have been buying everything and we will continue to do so. I honestly don't expect anyone to get us anything big. Heck the handme down clothes ive been getting from friends alone makes me happier then you could ever imagine.
By lilenatalem at 2012-01-28
I don't think I'm frustrated so much as worried. My best friend is throwing me a shower and I'm only allowing myself to get so excited. She's scheduled it for exactly one month before my due date. I'm so paranoid about delivering early and never getting to have the shower in the first place!
(my mother delivered all four of us early - way early. I know I'm a totally different woman, but still...it makes me nervous)
Also my mom and sister are down in NC so I doubt they will want to come up to NYC in the dead of winter one month before planning on being here for the arrival of baby. So I think they'll miss it. Oh well...
And for PP worried about getting big items in NYC...you get used to it here. Everything is delivered. Things like cribs are rarely in stock even in the burbs - you'd have to arrange delivery anyway!
seriously. You plan to buy the stuff you need yourself - any gifts people are kind enough to buy you are just bonus. Grow up.
I didn't have a shower.
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TTC#2 Chart
IUI #1 - #4 (repronex trigger) = BFN
IUI#5 on 10/28/2008 ** BFP 11/10/08 ** EDD 07/21/09 *** It's a GIRL (07/14/09)
med/treatment free BFP 06/28/10. EDD 03/05/11 *** GIRL #2 (02/23/11)
beta#1 @ 17dpo = 1296 .... beta#2 @ 19dpo = 3034
it's the Bug and Baby Belle!
THANK YOU. I have a severe dislike for showers for this reason soley. We have purchased most everything, little items like bottles are left. I am letting my mom throw a shower but I am designing the decor ( I have connections). And yes, letting. I hate showers. But if I don't have one my family will throw a fit.
Our baby site: Baby Cragg
Wow.. So you know her financial situation?
Does this whole thread annoy anyone else?
You are getting free stuff and a celebration from people who love you.
Oh noes! That isn't the color I picked out! The bouncer I wanted far supercedes that one!
Who the eff cares? If you really don't like it, take it back and exchange it. Maybe your bouncer was expensive and they had a coupon for a different one that was half the price. They still both bounce the baby.
gah.
well when she says that one of the reasons she doesnt want to get the crib herself is because of cost, i kind of made my own hypothesis
No shower for me either... and this is my first! oh well.
I totally see what you're saying, but if you can't afford the G-D bouncer then get something cheaper off the registry, not a cheaper version of the thing I picked out. Now I have to haul it back to the store. (I think this just really stems from my utter hatred of BRU and how painful it was for me to even create my registry)
Yes, I should be grateful for the gifts, and blah blah. Which I will be.
Yeah I kinda feel the same way, but I don't want it to turn into a "your just jealous cuz your not having one" kinda thing.
I know my hubby wants to throw me one (but not in the tacky way everyone would think) For us having a shower would just be a reason to have friends come and visit and cook and have a good time. It wouldn't be a normal shower with baby games and oohs and ahhs over baby clothes etc. Heck we'd prob just end up playing Wii and trash talking the crap outta eachother over mario cart or playing DND or something.
By lilenatalem at 2012-01-28
Oh, makes sense.. I probably didn't read all the way through the post..
And I agree with one of the PP.. You're getting a bunch of free stuff from people.. Accept it and move on with your life.. If it's not exactly what you wanted, you can always exchange/return it.. Most people will leave a gift reciept with you.. And most stores exchange items without a reciept..
*Edited* Posted twice
For my shower, most people bought gifts the week before the shower. Target and BRU often don't update items as they're purchased, so we got a lot of duplicates. I had one friend who bought us some bigger items, which was so generous, but we definitely didn't expect that.
I do admit that I wish someone would offer to throw us a "sprinkle" for the twins, since we need more gear and clothes that we hadn't planned on. I'll throw a meet-the-babies party sometime after they're born, but not for gifts - we'll have bought the main gear we need by then.
You bet it does. I am not having a shower at this point. My mother and MIL are both strongly opposed to having a shower before the baby arrives, and no one else has offered. I'm not upset about it. DH and I planned to have this baby when we were in a good financial position to do so, and therefore have purchased almost everything we need at this point. IF we received any presents from anyone we would be completely grateful and happy. If one of these presents was a duplicate of something else we had we would exchange it for something else, or take back our original purchase.... easy enough.
Shower complaints are seriously annoying.
BFP #2 ~ 4/22/2010 ~ EDD 12/29/2010 ~ Born 12/19/2010 ~ My Rainbow Baby
BFP #3 ~ 6/10/2012 ~ EDD 2/20/2013 ~ HB 100bpm @ 9w3d ~ M/C 7/11/2012
BFP #4 ~ 3/16/2013 ~ EDD 11/20/2013 ~ Born 11/17/2013 ~ Rainbow Baby #2
My MIL has friends planning a shower two weeks from my due date. She told me I was being ungrateful when I suggested perhaps and earlier date. I just like to be prepared.
And my best friend offered to throw me a friend shower because she doesn't want to come to my family shower. But she hasn't planned anything yet. But she got pissed off when she got an invitation to my family shower because she "was going to throw me one!"
This x100000000. I just had this discussion with my mom. So you're not going to bathe your baby if someone doesn't buy your baby a bathtub? I just don't get it.
Twin boys born too early at 17w4d and 18w2d in February 2010
Transabdominal cerclage placed September 2010
DS born at 35w1d in February 2011
Twin girls born at exactly 36w in February 2013
That may have just been specific to buying it *in* Manhattan rather than elsewhere. Everything costs significantly more there for the exact same stuff, so it's silly to buy things there even when you can.
Due to geography, I won't be having any showers and that's just fine. But one point in the OP really jumped out at me. I understand people dawdling on the RSVPs for a house party, but when it's a restaurant and there is an actual cut-off for how many meals you are pre-paying for, it really is rude to not respond on time.
my cousin and mom are throwing my shower so to offset some of their costs i volunteered to pay for the invites and the favors. why are all the baby shower favors totally cute and yet totally pointless? candy is great but it reminds me of a 5 year olds birthday. personalized luggage tags or lip balm? cute! but so what they're from my shower. i'm gonna go with the little personalized packs of hot chocolate that are equally pointless, but my shower is in january so at least there's a high chance that they will get consumed.
end vent
But at least you have a list from which to buy stuff off of yourself now.
If you get stuff from your list, great! Free stuff rocks! If not, oh well, you already researched all of the stuff now you can go buy it.
We live in San Diego, and our families both live in NH so we planned on not having a shower. However we are planning on flying to see our families in NH for thanksgiving weekend, and our moms have decided to throw us a shower together the weekend we are there. My MIL paid to rent a hall to have to shower at since their house is small, and now I feel terrible because we may not be able to go at all (i am on bed rest until ? for possible pre-e) and now we are out $700 for our plane tickets. luckily they are southwest so we at least get a $700 credit to use within a year.
Some girls at work said they where going to throw me one here anyway, but we shall see. I have learned not to expect much from other people, and to just rely on ourselves since it is OUR baby. We have already bought the crib, changing table, dresser, and stroller and a lot of clothes so the main big items are purchased. We plan on buying the rest of the big ticket items for ourselves anyways, and if we do have a shower in the end then anything we get like small items like burp clothes, diapers, and clothes we are just thankful for that its one less thing we need to get. When I go to a bridal/baby shower I rarely would spend more then $50 so I would not expect anybody else to do do either, especially with the way peoples finances are these days.
Yep no one bought anything off my registry until the day of the shower or the day before. Nothing was updated and I got 4 of the same high chair and lots of duplicates. I didn't mind making the returns!
Oh and a small piece of advice. don't register for cute crap like clothing, blankets, diaper stackers, receiving blankets, baby wash cloths. You will get a ton anyways and my theory was if someone really wanted to buy you clothing they were not going to look at your registry anyways, they will buy you what THEY think is cute not what little onesie you had picked out. I only registered (with DD) for baby gear and if they didn't want to buy something like that then they could pick me out something they wanted to get me.