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Multiples
IRL "I want twins" comments
I get comments in real life all.the.time like those last night's poster made. "I want twins; I hope I have twins; my [relative] has twins, so my boyfriend and I just know we'll have them, too; etc." I'm sure you guys do, too.
So, what do you do with them?
For a while I would correct people who were wrong about heredity and twins, but then my husband asked me why I wasted my time, and I realized he was right. Now I just smile and nod, at them and also at the people who say they want twins because they think twins are cute. It's easier that way. But reading the posts on that thread last night made me think that perhaps a little education wouldn't be such a bad thing...
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Re: IRL "I want twins" comments
Eh.
I'm going to have a different take on this because before I got pregnant (which wasn't exactly "planned"), I had said a couple of times that I wanted to have twins.
Now, I didn't really remember this when the Dr told me we were expecting twins.......my reaction didn't line up with the supposed "desire" I had. Friends later reminded me of comments I'd made in the past!
Anyway...it doesn't bother me when people say they want twins. I wanted them. I didn't think I could eat yams and get them, and I didn't go around asking how to "get" them, but I did think and say at times that I would like to have them. And once I got pregnant and educated myself on heredity, etc. that's how I found out what side they came from, that IDs aren't genetic, etc. So that doesn't bother me either.
But the whole....how can I "get" them....that's weird.
I get this a lot too, and I especially get the "I wish I had twin girls" comments too. Really, you want to get that specific with your order?
I used to do a lot correcting/educating and telling them how risky, hard, tiring, etc it was. But in the end I decided it wasn't my job to educate anyone else, and I had much better things to do with my time. Besides, I find it just falls on deaf ears, or ends up sounding whiney and ungrateful to the listener.
Lately, my stock response has been, "well, it was a long hard road getting here, and it's a lot more than dressing them in cute matching outfits, but we're lucky to have made it here, and I can't imagine it any other way."
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Discovered TWINS during the 6w u/s - what a shocker!
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The Bump MoM Recipe Collection
Have to ditto this. The pg and infancy is much harder than I thought, but I always thought it would be neat, and it is. It's amazing to watch my twins interact with each other (makes me sad for DS1 b/c I think he might feel like an outsider to them at times). We just got new floors (the open kitchen/LR was just finished last night) and it was so cool to watch them both zoom around in their walkers. I know that many have a very hard time getting pg, staying pg, paying for daycare, etc, I'm not trying to make lite of it. I do understand the fascination, it's different than what most people are familiar with and I thank God every.single.day that he's trusted DH and I enough to care for these precious children. Yes it's hard, no I was definitely NOT happy when I found out, but I'm so glad that I get to experience it first hand and I wish I could experience it with more people.
I must note, that I don't want twins again though.
I smile and nod too.
With the heredity thing, DH's brother has twin girls through IVF as well. When asked by people we don't want to get into the whole infertility thing with we answer the "do twins run in your family?" question with yes DH's bro has twins too ever though we know it doesn't matter! It's just easier sometimes!
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FET #1 April 2011= BFN
FET #2 July 2011= no transfer because my lining sucked
FET #3 February 2012= BFP! 1st beta 9dp5dt=314 2nd beta 11dp5dt=977 1st U/S 3/20 Twins- Heart rates of 111 and 138
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This!
I get it all the time with my triplets and it drives me crazy!
I used to try to explain it too, but realized people just aren't going to get it anyway. Twins sound "cute" because they don't imagine them both crying at the same time or the fear when they're trying to come out early or the toll on your relationship while on bedrest, etc.
This is me too. Our girls are due to IVF, but DH's father is a twin. Usually its just easier to say that yep, they run in the family and leave it at that.
i just smile and move on - i probabyl made dumb comments like that at some point in my life - i know as a child i always wanted twins, and DH and i used to joke that we had to pray for twins the 2nd time b/c we always wanted 3 kids, but after my 1st pg being so rough- i told him i could only do it one more time... and bam- we got them! But i was by no means TRYING for them... i just knew i had a higher chance to have them all along b/c i knew i'd need clomid/IUI to get pg again.
I get that a lot already and it bothers me. I didn't wish for twins, and I never would have. I feel so blessed but I feel the worry is times two, the what ifs of what could happen and go wrong by the time they are born are so high.
I just smile and nod though.
I hate those comments and my twins aren't even here yet. But it seems everyone I talk to says "Oh, I always wanted twins!" and yes, I did actually have a cousin-in-law asking me "So what's the secret?" because my sister also has twins...I said "um, I don't know, be my sister?" and she went on to tell me all about the supposed ways to "get" twins and how she was going to try them all. Weird. I told her she could come visit after the twins are born and see if she still wants twins of her own then
But usually when people make the comments about wanting twins, I say "Yeah, you've never been around twins as babies, have you?" Not that I would trade my twins for the world even though I haven't "met" them yet, nor would I trade my twin nephews either (who are now 8 and much easier!), but I think the majority of people have a very idealistic view of what twins are really like.
well, shoot! no one ever tells me they want triplets!
ha!
How to tell my boys apart
The different types of twins and triplets
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I want trips! I'm going to try really hard.