I'm not sure if posting this is super taboo..

Lilena · October 2010

But I really feel this guy is one stand up dad!

https://www.daddyfiles.com/2010/07/13/abort-protesters/comment-page-5/#comments

(please note this is a link to a story about a father who had to take his wife to get an abortion -for a baby that will NOT i repeat NOT live after birth - at a clinic associated with their hospital- and the dad's run in with the Pro-Lifers who picket outside) If this is an uneasy subject I suggest you just use your back button your browser.

I don't want this to turn into a prolife/prochoice fight. I just wanted to to show you guys that this guy is a good dad standing up for his wife in the right way and he's awesome!

And apologies if someone has already posted this I looked but didn't see any, but with no working search function I did my best. =p

tulips12_30 · October 2010

::clicking back button::

missesru · October 2010

Lilena:

I don't want this to turn into a prolife/prochoice fight.

Of course you did. Why else would you post a link about abortion on a trimester pregnancy board???

Stella's_PUMPED · October 2010

I didn't see how the women treated him or his wife, but he seemed ultra aggressive. Personally, it's their choice to stand out and oppose a practice that upsets them.

IMO, this video only made the man seem aggressive, not the protesters. He insulted them. I can understand, he's at an emotional point, taking his wife to abort their unborn genetically deformed baby, but I do not view him as a hero for insulting people holding signs.

emily0829 · October 2010

Just lurking. I'm Pro Life, but I'm not going to stand outside of a clinic and protest. In the end, people will make their own decisions and who am I to judge? But, having said that, I agree with his ending statement.

"So that means the same people who protest to bring these children into the world are the first ones to cut them off at the knees in terms of care." [Because of them being conservative, and more toward leaning toward the right of politics and not agreeing with Welfare and such]

If you're going to be against abortion, you can't be against assistance too. Even for women who opt to give their children up for adoption, yet have no money, no insurance, no support--- who do they think pays for their prenatal care?

Anyway, I wouldn't say he's a good "Dad", but I would say that he is a very supportive husband.

ETA: The video didn't show up on my work browser, but I just read the article and what he had to say in the article.

emily0829 · October 2010

I went back to the article and read the comments. Though, again, I am considered to be Pro-Life, he probably should have put the circumstances of the abortion at least somewhere in there. I wonder what the protestors would have to say about that.

Mare: Who took a life? You think my wife and I murdered our unborn daughter? By your rationale, ?God? was the one who saw to it there would be no way for her to survive. ?God? failed to give her kidneys or a bladder. And ?God? fused her legs together. ?God? gave my 16-week-old daughter ZERO chance of survival. All we did was curtail the suffering.

BeetleLinz1125 · October 2010

Thank you for sharing that. Even though I am not a supporter of abortion, I can certainly understand that sometimes they are necessary. It is so sad that others cannot. I know that it is not a choice that I would make, but I do understand that I am not like everyone else. I have taken the stance that I don't want to be told what I can or cannot do with my body. I agree that the people who wouldn't want me to have one certainly won't be there when I need help.

Jenlynn24 · October 2010

tulips12_30:
::clicking back button::

ME TOO

Lilena · October 2010

Eh i say "Dad" Because thats what his blog is about, being a dad. But yeah He's being a supportive husband.

And I disagree with him being "mean" sure he was edgy to the protesters, but he didn't go to them ranting and raving and cursing them out like others would. He was just standing up for his poor wife. He was actually pretty civil IMO. I just really like the blog he wrote about the whole situation. Especially about filming them and pointing out how they can handle standing in public with their horrific signs, and have no problems shouting nasty things at these poor women, but they don't want to be recorded, showing that deep down they are somewhere inside ashamed of what they do.

I also like how he pointed out to them that they should be volunteering to help prevent the entire situation, which would make alot more sense then screaming horrible things at people.

andrea922 · October 2010

emily0829:
I went back to the article and read the comments. Though, again, I am considered to be Pro-Life, he probably should have put the circumstances of the abortion at least somewhere in there. I wonder what the protestors would have to say about that.

Mare: Who took a life? You think my wife and I murdered our unborn daughter? By your rationale, ?God? was the one who saw to it there would be no way for her to survive. ?God? failed to give her kidneys or a bladder. And ?God? fused her legs together. ?God? gave my 16-week-old daughter ZERO chance of survival. All we did was curtail the suffering.

You said you couldn't see the video? He did tell the protesters why his wife was there having an abortion. They told him she should have been at the hospital, apparently unaware that this was affiliated with a hospital.

I am 100% pro-choice, and I applaud him. No one should be made to feel guilty about choices they make, for whatever the reason. My son's preschool is next to a women's clinic and while there are no protesters there during the week they are there on weekends and it makes me ill to see them.

Lilena · October 2010

BeetleLinz1125:
Thank you for sharing that. Even though I am not a supporter of abortion, I can certainly understand that sometimes they are necessary. It is so sad that others cannot. I know that it is not a choice that I would make, but I do understand that I am not like everyone else. I have taken the stance that I don't want to be told what I can or cannot do with my body. I agree that the people who wouldn't want me to have one certainly won't be there when I need help.

I was afraid to share cuz I think ppl will get the wrong idea.

I promise you I agree with you 100%. While I am actually prolife (for myself I guess) but I would never tell another women what she can and cant do with her body, nor would I look down on someone how has to make that decision.

And for those that can't watch the video he was basically just asking them how they could say mean things to his wife without knowing WHY they were there in the first place. Making the wife's experience 1000 times worse having to give up on a baby that wouldn't live anyways.

Scout05 · October 2010

I'm not going to read the article, to be honest.

But I do hope, as this discussion goes forward, that everyone keeps in mind there are those of us here who had to make the heartbreaking and life changing decision to end pregnancies due to genetic complications and other fatal conditions.

The potential to truly hurt grieving mothers here (because trust me, you grieve forever) is pretty high. Just...I hope people are careful in how the phrase things in this thread.

emily0829 · October 2010

andrea922:
emily0829:

I went back to the article and read the comments. Though, again, I am considered to be Pro-Life, he probably should have put the circumstances of the abortion at least somewhere in there. I wonder what the protestors would have to say about that.

Mare: Who took a life? You think my wife and I murdered our unborn daughter? By your rationale, ?God? was the one who saw to it there would be no way for her to survive. ?God? failed to give her kidneys or a bladder. And ?God? fused her legs together. ?God? gave my 16-week-old daughter ZERO chance of survival. All we did was curtail the suffering.

You said you couldn't see the video? He did tell the protesters why his wife was there having an abortion. They told him she should have been at the hospital, apparently unaware that this was affiliated with a hospital.

I am 100% pro-choice, and I applaud him. No one should be made to feel guilty about choices they make, for whatever the reason. My son's preschool is next to a women's clinic and while there are no protesters there during the week they are there on weekends and it makes me ill to see them.

Right, I didn't see the video because it didn't show up for me. The only reason I knew why the abortion was taking place was because I happened to read the comments.

As I said, I'm Pro Life, but I'm not going to protest and make people feel like shiit when it's ultimately their decsion. I do believe in God, unlike the blogger and others that posted, but again, it's not my place to protest what God has given them---free will.

Anyway, I feel bad for the blogger and his wife that they were put in such a difficult situation. I can't imagine.

flowerchild77 · October 2010

missesru:
Lilena:

I don't want this to turn into a prolife/prochoice fight.

Of course you did. Why else would you post a link about abortion on a trimester pregnancy board???

My thoughts EXACTLY.

flowerchild77 · October 2010

missesru:
Lilena:

I don't want this to turn into a prolife/prochoice fight.

Of course you did. Why else would you post a link about abortion on a trimester pregnancy board???

My thoughts EXACTLY.

Lilena · October 2010

ambrandau2:
I'm not going to read the article, to be honest.

But I do hope, as this discussion goes forward, that everyone keeps in mind there are those of us here who had to make the heartbreaking and life changing decision to end pregnancies due to genetic complications and other fatal conditions.

The potential to truly hurt grieving mothers here (because trust me, you grieve forever) is pretty high. Just...I hope people are careful in how the phrase things in this thread.

This is actually the reason I posted the link in the first place hon, this family was in one of those situations and were made to feel like crap because of it, even though it was already out of their hands, because of the picketers.

Believe in science, believe in god, believe in what you want to, but "god" had already made his mind up about that child and it was not going to survive. The picketers made a horrible situation that much worse, the blog/vid is about the dad confronting them and telling them why they were there to show that not everyone is there for the reason's THEY think, and deem worthy to shout out things like "baby killer and murderer" etc.

aidiasullivan · October 2010

I think to continue a pregnancy when you know the child is not going to live is just disgusting. If people think it should be left in gods hands and no one should interfere, then I suppose the same logic would apply if their child was dying? No medicine, its in gods hands?

Manateearmz · October 2010

missesru:
Lilena:

I don't want this to turn into a prolife/prochoice fight.

Of course you did. Why else would you post a link about abortion on a trimester pregnancy board???

Agreed.

I'm pregnant, for some reason a post about abortion makes me sad and want to hug my bump...funny how hormones work isn't it?

::hits back button::

Lilena · October 2010

mandaree:
missesru:
Lilena:

I don't want this to turn into a prolife/prochoice fight.

Of course you did. Why else would you post a link about abortion on a trimester pregnancy board???

Agreed.

I'm pregnant, for some reason a post about abortion makes me sad and want to hug my bump...funny how hormones work isn't it?

::hits back button::

I'm pregnant too, and this story of course made me feel very lucky and blessed.

But this story isn't really just about abortion, for me it's about how people can be SO F'N cruel and kicking people when they are down, in the worst situation of their lives. And how it should be uncalled for.

This story should bring on discussions about how instead of looking down on people, and hurting them further we should be HELPING each other and SUPPORTING each other. Kinda like how alot of you guys do on these boards with all the wonderful support and thoughts and prayers.

GreenBride624 · October 2010

aidiasullivan:
I think to continue a pregnancy when you know the child is not going to live is just disgusting. If people think it should be left in gods hands and no one should interfere, then I suppose the same logic would apply if their child was dying? No medicine, its in gods hands?

Woah! I think that is completely uncalled for!

As PP mentioned, ladies on this board have had to make this decision about THEIR CHILD and you should respect their decision regardless of what it was...

Manateearmz · October 2010

Lilena:
mandaree:
missesru:
Lilena:

I don't want this to turn into a prolife/prochoice fight.

Of course you did. Why else would you post a link about abortion on a trimester pregnancy board???

Agreed.

I'm pregnant, for some reason a post about abortion makes me sad and want to hug my bump...funny how hormones work isn't it?

::hits back button::

I'm pregnant too, and this story of course made me feel very lucky and blessed.

But this story isn't really just about abortion, for me it's about how people can be SO F'N cruel and kicking people when they are down, in the worst situation of their lives. And how it should be uncalled for.

This story should bring on discussions about how instead of looking down on people, and hurting them further we should be HELPING each other and SUPPORTING each other. Kinda like how alot of you guys do on these boards with all the wonderful support and thoughts and prayers.

Yes, of course I know that everybody on this board is pregnant...well unless it's a troll. I should've been more clear that my reasons for not wanting to read it. It's not about if I am pro-life or pro-choice. I know that things go wrong with pregnancy, and there are many disorders or circumstances that cause parents to make tough choices. I personally don't feel like reading anything right now that is this sad and heartbreaking. I do think that you picked a hot topic for a tri board, where a lot of women are emotinal, scared, and perhaps have had to make choices like this in the past. Not all puppies and rainbows, but I wasn't looking for a reason to bawl my eyes out today.

drpayne · October 2010

missesru:
Lilena:

I don't want this to turn into a prolife/prochoice fight.

Of course you did. Why else would you post a link about abortion on a trimester pregnancy board???

This. I am as pro-life as they come. However, I think people who choose to protest at clinics need to do so in a loving and compassionate manner. Calling people names does nothing for their cause.

me&mymonkey · October 2010

GreenBride624:

aidiasullivan:
I think to continue a pregnancy when you know the child is not going to live is just disgusting. If people think it should be left in gods hands and no one should interfere, then I suppose the same logic would apply if their child was dying? No medicine, its in gods hands?

Woah! I think that is completely uncalled for!

As PP mentioned, ladies on this board have had to make this decision about THEIR CHILD and you should respect their decision regardless of what it was...

I agree, this was not necessary. Stop judging people in heartbreaking situations that have to make the best decision they can for themselves and their families, regardless of whether you agree with it not.

Scout05 · October 2010

aidiasullivan:
I think to continue a pregnancy when you know the child is not going to live is just disgusting. If people think it should be left in gods hands and no one should interfere, then I suppose the same logic would apply if their child was dying? No medicine, its in gods hands?

I disagree. I think it's personal, and heartwrenching, and something no one can imagine until they are in that position.

We didn't go forward, because the potential pain for our child was too great for us to bear. But that was what seemed right to us.

No one has any right to judge the decisions a parent makes in these circumstances. Whatever those decisions might be. Those parents should simply be afforded any and all love and support that can be given to them.

There is no "right" answer. There is only "right for you."

GreenBride624 · October 2010

ambrandau2:

aidiasullivan:
I think to continue a pregnancy when you know the child is not going to live is just disgusting. If people think it should be left in gods hands and no one should interfere, then I suppose the same logic would apply if their child was dying? No medicine, its in gods hands?

I disagree. I think it's personal, and heartwrenching, and something no one can imagine until they are in that position.

We didn't go forward, because the potential pain for our child was too great for us to bear. But that was what seemed right to us.

No one has any right to judge the decisions a parent makes in these circumstances. Whatever those decisions might be. Those parents should simply be afforded any and all love and support that can be given to them.

There is no "right" answer. There is only "right for you."

I'm sorry for what you have gone through and I'm sorry you had to read that ignorant post! Sad

Jennis22 · October 2010

I think everyone has a right to their opinion and a right to express their opinion. But the line needs to be drawn at harassing people who are already in emotional turmoil. That man had every right to go out there and tell them they are basically dirt in his eyes. I honestly wish more people would do the same thing.

missesru · October 2010

ambrandau2:

There is no "right" answer. There is only "right for you."

Perfectly worded.

aidiasullivan · October 2010

GreenBride624:
ambrandau2:

aidiasullivan:
I think to continue a pregnancy when you know the child is not going to live is just disgusting. If people think it should be left in gods hands and no one should interfere, then I suppose the same logic would apply if their child was dying? No medicine, its in gods hands?

I disagree. I think it's personal, and heartwrenching, and something no one can imagine until they are in that position.

We didn't go forward, because the potential pain for our child was too great for us to bear. But that was what seemed right to us.

No one has any right to judge the decisions a parent makes in these circumstances. Whatever those decisions might be. Those parents should simply be afforded any and all love and support that can be given to them.

There is no "right" answer. There is only "right for you."

I'm sorry for what you have gone through and I'm sorry you had to read that ignorant post!

Excuse you, but my post was not ignorant. To move forward with a pregnancy, to allow a child that can not live to further develop and to increase its ability to feel pain and unhappiness is rotton and inhumane.

thebubble09 · October 2010

you nver really know whether you're pro life or pro choice until you're confronted with needing to make the choice. sadly there are a lot of women on these boards who have been confronted with that choice and know what a terrifying decision it is to make. imo, none of us has any right to shun another woman's decision under any circumstances, regardless of political stances or personal experiences.

Lilena · October 2010

Jennis22:
I think everyone has a right to their opinion and a right to express their opinion. But the line needs to be drawn at harassing people who are already in emotional turmoil. That man had every right to go out there and tell them they are basically dirt in his eyes. I honestly wish more people would do the same thing.

I agree, I just wish that him telling them why he was there, and their situation it would make those people think twice before they scream those hurtful words at people when they have NO idea whats going on in someones life.

Like I said ppl need support NOT shame.

emily0829 · October 2010

Lilena:
Jennis22:

I think everyone has a right to their opinion and a right to express their opinion. But the line needs to be drawn at harassing people who are already in emotional turmoil. That man had every right to go out there and tell them they are basically dirt in his eyes. I honestly wish more people would do the same thing.

I agree, I just wish that him telling them why he was there, and their situation it would make those people think twice before they scream those hurtful words at people when they have NO idea whats going on in someones life.

Like I said ppl need support NOT shame.

Support is great when it's something worthy of being supported. But, much like a friend of a friend who has tried to befriend me many times who has had 5 abortions because she uses it as a form of birth control, doesn't get support in my book.

I'm not saying it's right of the protestors to judge whatsoever, or even be out there picketing, but not every case seems to be a medical condition, or a awfully difficult and heartbreaking decision that a family had to make in response to unimaginable news.

iris427 · October 2010

Lilena:
I promise you I agree with you 100%. While I am actually prolife (for myself I guess) but I would never tell another women what she can and cant do with her body, nor would I look down on someone how has to make that decision.

It sounds like you are pro-choice then. Being pro-choice means you think that other women should get to make that choice for themselves. It doesn't mean that you would necessarily have an abortion yourself or that you want other people to have abortions.

Lilena · October 2010

iris427:
Lilena:
I promise you I agree with you 100%. While I am actually prolife (for myself I guess) but I would never tell another women what she can and cant do with her body, nor would I look down on someone how has to make that decision.

It sounds like you are pro-choice then. Being pro-choice means you think that other women should get to make that choice for themselves. It doesn't mean that you would necessarily have an abortion yourself or that you want other people to have abortions.

aye that's why i said myself. I mean I didn't really wanna get into this but I don't agree with ppl using abortion as a form of birth control, but I do understand that it is necessary sometimes because of development issues etc or rape etc. I just stand by the fact that either way Its not my place to judge or to make someone feel like crap because of how they handled something.

I just realllllllly disagree with these picketers screaming things at women whom are already dealing with the toughest things in their life, and they are there making it worse, only to stand and cover it up as being righteous and wanting to save the baby when they have no idea whats going on for the family having to go there.

emily0829 · October 2010

cruelsound:
emily0829:
Lilena:
Jennis22:

I think everyone has a right to their opinion and a right to express their opinion. But the line needs to be drawn at harassing people who are already in emotional turmoil. That man had every right to go out there and tell them they are basically dirt in his eyes. I honestly wish more people would do the same thing.

I agree, I just wish that him telling them why he was there, and their situation it would make those people think twice before they scream those hurtful words at people when they have NO idea whats going on in someones life.

Like I said ppl need support NOT shame.

Support is great when it's something worthy of being supported. But, much like a friend of a friend who has tried to befriend me many times who has had 5 abortions because she uses it as a form of birth control, doesn't get support in my book.

I'm not saying it's right of the protestors to judge whatsoever, or even be out there picketing, but not every case seems to be a medical condition, or a awfully difficult and heartbreaking decision that a family had to make in response to unimaginable news.

So, for someone like me who also had to make the same decision but for different reasons, I deserve to be judged? And not supported?

Oh, I get it. Because of the circumstances, it wasn't a difficult, life-changing decision for me to make. Love it.

If it wasn't a difficult decision for you to make, why would you need an abundance of support in the first place?

aidiasullivan · October 2010

emily0829:
Lilena:
Jennis22:

I think everyone has a right to their opinion and a right to express their opinion. But the line needs to be drawn at harassing people who are already in emotional turmoil. That man had every right to go out there and tell them they are basically dirt in his eyes. I honestly wish more people would do the same thing.

I agree, I just wish that him telling them why he was there, and their situation it would make those people think twice before they scream those hurtful words at people when they have NO idea whats going on in someones life.

Like I said ppl need support NOT shame.

Support is great when it's something worthy of being supported. But, much like a friend of a friend who has tried to befriend me many times who has had 5 abortions because she uses it as a form of birth control, doesn't get support in my book.

I'm not saying it's right of the protestors to judge whatsoever, or even be out there picketing, but not every case seems to be a medical condition, or a awfully difficult and heartbreaking decision that a family had to make in response to unimaginable news.

The girl who has had 5 abortions probably doesn't need support, she probably has an entirely different view on abortion...one which I personally respect very much.

You obviously have your own set of judgments. How heartbreaking the scenario, how difficult the decision seem to deem the person making the decision more forgivable to you.

Scout05 · October 2010

emily0829:
cruelsound:
emily0829:
Lilena:
Jennis22:

I think everyone has a right to their opinion and a right to express their opinion. But the line needs to be drawn at harassing people who are already in emotional turmoil. That man had every right to go out there and tell them they are basically dirt in his eyes. I honestly wish more people would do the same thing.

I agree, I just wish that him telling them why he was there, and their situation it would make those people think twice before they scream those hurtful words at people when they have NO idea whats going on in someones life.

Like I said ppl need support NOT shame.

Support is great when it's something worthy of being supported. But, much like a friend of a friend who has tried to befriend me many times who has had 5 abortions because she uses it as a form of birth control, doesn't get support in my book.

I'm not saying it's right of the protestors to judge whatsoever, or even be out there picketing, but not every case seems to be a medical condition, or a awfully difficult and heartbreaking decision that a family had to make in response to unimaginable news.

So, for someone like me who also had to make the same decision but for different reasons, I deserve to be judged? And not supported?

Oh, I get it. Because of the circumstances, it wasn't a difficult, life-changing decision for me to make. Love it.

If it wasn't a difficult decision for you to make, why would you need an abundance of support in the first place?

You need to check your sarcasm meter. It's not working.

Obviously, it was an incredibly difficult decision for her. This would be the problem with judging people when you've never stood in their shoes, or lived their life. You only imagine you know the circumstances and the events, and chances are good you will get it wrong.

shooloo · October 2010

I hope i never have to go through that. There is no "right" answer.

missesru · October 2010

Lilena:

aye that's why i said myself. I mean I didn't really wanna get into this but I don't agree with ppl using abortion as a form of birth control, but I do understand that it is necessary sometimes because of development issues etc or rape etc. I just stand by the fact that either way Its not my place to judge or to make someone feel like crap because of how they handled something.

I just realllllllly disagree with these picketers screaming things at women whom are already dealing with the toughest things in their life, and they are there making it worse, only to stand and cover it up as being righteous and wanting to save the baby when they have no idea whats going on for the family having to go there.

Again, I do not believe that you "didn't want to get into this". There really is no point in posting this article, no good comes from it. The only thing that it does is ignite debate, strong opinions, and most likely pain for those who have dealt with these choices.

AACraven85 · October 2010

Absolutely disgusting. My mom terminated a pregnancy for similar reasons (baby would not live outside the womb) and I swear to God if I would have gone and seen protesters outside I would have raised hell. That is absolutely appalling that people would actually stand outside to picket.

Do they think these women enjoy what they are doing? Do you think they do not already feel deep conflict, shame or sadness? Do they think a woman will see their signs and say "oh, I didn't think about that". To me, there is no reason for them to be there because they are not going to change anyone's mind. They do nothing but sit on their high horses and judge others situations, which I'm willing to bet they've never been in. If they do not want to have an abortion, yay for them. It's a free country and we all should be able to make our own decisions.

I am pro-choice just for the fact that this is such an intimate issue with many different facets. Most likely the only reason I would ever get an abortion would be if my child would not survive outside of the womb. While I do not agree with the woman who has fifty abortions and uses it as a form of birth control, I do not want my rights taken away because of their poor choices. I do not want such an emotional decision left up to some politician who will never know me or my situation.

Most, if not all, of the women that post on here on their high horse that they would "gasp, never ever have an abortion!" have never been in a situation where they must choose to carry a baby to term and watch it die or terminate to minimize another human beings pain and suffering. You never know what you would do until you are faced with the situation.

Lilena · October 2010

I posted this because I believe that some people would appreciate it like myself and not be so offed at the story they wouldn't even wanna read it.

I gave a disclamer so those that don't wanna read about it could back away. I did not post this to start fights or to hurt peoples feelings. I apologize if anyone is offended by the story.

My family has delt with abortion and I wish I could been there to do what this guy did and stand up to these people and give them a peice of my mind. Although I'll bet I wouldn't have been able to keep my cool anywhere near what this guy was able to do.

HolliEllison · October 2010

I don't think there's anything honorable about this man...People don't bring video cameras with them unless they're hoping to instigate something. He wasn't protecting his wife - he was picking a fight. He has his beliefs and they have theirs...

He mentioned at the beginning of the video that he and his wife had experienced a "fetal demise" (which I went through during my first pregnancy). I don't know of a single doctor's office that would send a paitent to an abortion clinic to perform a d&c for a miscarriage.

I'm calling bullsh*t on this one.

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