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Working Moms
flyer23
member
Does your daycare have male caregivers?
flyer23
member
in Working Moms
DD's preschool has a man who works in extended care (in the afternoons). I never thought much of it. He started right around the time we took DD out of extended care (when DS was born), so I didn't see very much of him, but from what I did see, he seemed perfectly nice. He's probably in his early or mid 20s, he does set off my gay-dar, but I have no issues with him and trust him just as much as any other teacher there.
During the standard orientation this fall, the preschool director mentioned (unprompted) that she requires him to avoid being alone with kids. He always has to have another teacher around, or I think he can be alone if there's a large enough group of kids. She did say that she's known him very well for a long time, because they both attend the church that the preschool is affiliated with, and she completely trusts him.
I think it's a little sad that he is treated differently just because he's a man. I also work in a field dominated by the opposite sex, and I hate being treated differently because of it; I have to imagine that he'd feel the same way. Especially given that he's being treated like a potential sex offender, for no good reason other than his sex and his occupation...
Anyway, just curious if other daycares have male caregivers, and how it's handled? Or, if your daycare does not have male caregivers, how would you feel if they hired one?
Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Does your daycare have male caregivers?
DD's center doesn't have any male teachers
When I worked for them, we had a guy teacher in our school age room for the summer. He was GREAT with the kids, and a number of them didn't have fathers in their lives so it was AWESOME for them to have a positive male role model.
edited to delete some background info on her center
A Little Bird and a Monkey Butt
Ehh-
Just speaking from a position of working with children in a care setting (camp counselor in college) ~ you never put yourself in a situation that you are alone with a child. Male or female. You should always have another (ideally) adult present when in the company of a young child. Just to CYA. Sad but just how it is. ~ I would never view it as being any different for a man or a woman. (and i am a lawyer).
Ideal of course (and in camp-type setting makes a lot of sense), but not necessarily practical. Can you imagine how expensive childcare would be if there were two adults in every class, regardless of the number of kids? Tuition would double - yikes!
A Little Bird and a Monkey Butt
Yeah... plus, even when there are two adults in the class, with younger potty-trained kids, someone needs to take them to the bathroom. In the extended care part of the day, which is when this guy works, the kids are in two classrooms that are connected. They mostly play in one classroom, and the other is used for naptime. But the bathroom is off the naptime room. The female extended-care teacher will often take kids to the bathroom, alone. (The door is open, of course, but there are areas of the bathroom that are not visible to someone standing in the play room, even with the door open.) The male extended-care teacher is not allowed to do that.
Regardless, if the rule was that no teacher is allowed to be 1:1 with a kid, that would be one thing. (And yes, they would need to significantly increase the number of teachers at the school, if they had to send two teachers every time a preschooler had to pee...) But the rule is specifically that this teacher is not allowed to be 1:1 with a kid just because he is a man.
Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)
Hopefully more for his protection than the kid's...
If I was a guy working in a childcare center, I would have concerns taking kids potty or what not. Right or wrong, it is something that guys need to think about more than women.
A Little Bird and a Monkey Butt
They do, but I think only for the older kids, so he doesn't change diapers, etc. I wouldn't have any issues with him in DD's class.
It may be a double standard, but I feel like the discrimination women have to put up with in an all male environment is much worse than a man in an all-female environment. There isn't a glass ceiling for men, even in female-traditional fields like nursing or teaching.
But I agree-- discrimination sucks and it is sad that ppl are suspicious just because he is a man. There can be crappy abusive caregivers of either sex, and I just have to trust my center to hire appropriately.
One of the two preschool teachers at our center is a man, and he's great. All the preschoolers adore him, and the little kids do, too. (Our director is also man, by the way.) I don't think he's treated any differently, but we aren't in that room yet, so he may be... something to find out.
I try not to think of our male teacher as any different than the female teachers, and I am 99% there. I will admit a 1% bias, which is all me and not him, I guess because of the way we have been programmed about both child abuse and gender roles. There is nothing at all about him that makes me uncomfortable. I won't have any issues when my kids are in his room, and I would not have any issues if he were changing my kids' diapers now, which he very well could be, given how small our center is and how every one just pitches in.
At your preschool, I am absolutely sure it's for his protection and not the kids' protection. I also wonder how he feels about it, though.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
our school has one regular teacher who is a man, and one that comes in to teach music who is male.
As a former teacher - i think the advice of him never being alone with a child is a good one. You can never be too careful about getting accused of something with a child..... I'm a woman - and I still would NEVER help children in the bathroom - i let the parents know that I would not help do belt buckles, button pants, etc - that their kids had to be able to fasten all their clothing by themselves..... putting your hands in that area can look bad to another child - they can misunderstand what is happening- tell their parents - and BAM - you have an investigation going.
it's hard enough as a teacher... a woman I did my internship with had a child accuse her of "lifting up her skirt and singing a vagina song"... WTF? There were 2 teachers aids in the room + me at all times - so this NEVER happened- but this kid just made it up for no reason - and she had to be investigated.
for men it's 10x's as "dangerous" when it comes to being reported... so they need to be as careful as they can.
The one man in my early childhood education classes in college said he'd never hug a child from the front- he'd only put his arm around them off to the side- all b/c of this type of thing. It's sad... but needed.
The simple fact that you asked that last question in the OP = why men have to do this... b/c just by being male people are already thinking these things.
There's no doubt that the child care industry is comprised mostly of women, but men can also become child caregivers if they are actually qualified and full time professionals.
Like any job, over all performance of a care provider evaluated based on qualifications, experience, how a person interacts and responds to children, essential care giving services, & the ability to keep child safe, happy and healthy.Gender shouldn't be the consideration. Overall qualification & experience is the key criteria for child care provider.
edited by MOD