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December 2010 Moms
GreenPapaya
member
Can you be a mom without being a MOM?
GreenPapaya
member
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. You know, I'm going to be a mommy (aka a mom), which is fine. But does that mean I have to become a Mom? I mean my mom wasn't a stereotypical mom, but she was always still very mom-like. Do I have to wear mom jeans? Is my body going to change so much that I will want to wear mom jeans?
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Re: Can you be a mom without being a MOM?
Haha, no you don't have to.
I have a feeling I totally will be, though.
My Best Friend had her first baby last year and is having her second in a couple weeks and totally changed after her son was born.
She doesn't do anything anymore and pretty much stays at home. She also never brings her child out past his bed time at 7pm, and her whole day revolves around his perfect schedule.
Now not having kids I can't say that I will be like this, but most of my other friends with kids have not changed this month and have raised there kids with more flexible schedules.
It's weird for me as we where super close before and now aren't. But if it works for her that's great, heck I might be the same way.
My parents adjusted their activities somewhat, but not that much. I think that as parents, you also need to show your kids how to be social & interact with others. Always having family time may be nice for a while, but having a kid that thinks that the world revolves around them doesn't make sense to me. They need to learn that other people have interests, how to be patient, how to act in different situations.
You should be able to incorporate your child into your life too, not just the other way around. That should include the healthy examples of you working out, setting the example you want them to follow.
And mom jeans, really?My answer is yes and no. Children consume your thoughts constantly because you're constantly making 10 million judgement calls a day: should I pick him up?..no wait if I pick him up, he'll want me to hold him and I need him to nap now, but if I don't he'll continue screaming... it goes on and on with you second guessing and overanalyzing every thing you do!!! When you get around other parents all you want to do is ask them what they're doing!
As for trying not to dictate your life on their schedule, well, it depends on your child. Some children are more flexible then others. There are plenty of times when my kid's nap has interfered with things, but moving her nap time just isn't an option. If I were to ignore her nap and go do whatever, she'd make an enormous scene and create an uncomfortable, embarrassing situation.
I have no desire to ever wear mom jeans, a fanny pack! or leave the house in my pj's with no makeup on.
I'm hoping that this child adds to our family, not defines it.
MH & I have/had a great thing going with us and the dog. I am hoping that we just have one more person to join in on the fun, but that it doesn't change everything that we had and loved about our life.
i was just flipping through the new VS catalog daydreaming about the cute new jeans i am going to order when this party is over and i can fit in them again, so i sure hope "mom jeans" isn't my fate, cuz i've got bigger plans...
if turning into a MOM and dressing and acting like a MOM was the only option, the term MILF wouldn't exist
i think the PPs are right....this kiddo is coming into YOUR world and OF COURSE we all love our LOs and want to the the best for them, but i strongly believe that part of doing the bestyou can is setting a good example of what a fun life really is, showing them how to socialize with their friends AND your friends and be respectful and patient and open their eyes to EVERYTHING the world has to offer, not just sesame street and dora...that's how they turn out to be well rounded adults, i think! i hope anyway........
well put!
i will keep wearing skinny jeans, i'm sorry.. mom or no mom, i will NOT wear mom jeans, nor will i get the mom haircut!!
our lives will all obviously change to the point that pretty much everything revolves around our children, but it doesn't mean you have to be the requisite soccer mom, unless you want to that is!
This has been a fear of mine too only because I know that no one wants to turn into a 'mom' with mom jeans and such ...I'm scared that it will gradually happen over time what with being so busy with a baby and forgetting to take care of myself. I want to remember to put on a little make up and hopefully keep up more or less with some sort of fashion.
I think things change only as much as you want them too. I have several friends who still dress just as fashionably and haven't changed much. I hope to do the same.
My problem will come with my MIL who was and is totally wrapped up in her only child, my H. She had him on a strict schedule and never let him out of her sight. She thinks it's crazy that my sister lets her kids spend the night with our parents. Her life still revolves around her son and her being mom.
I can't stand it when my old friends have kids and then they turn into neurotic obsessive baby-zombies. I have one friend who can NEVER talk on the phone because it upsets her one year old, even when the baby is asleep... Because she sits in the babies room and watches her sleep through the entire nap. Vomit.
Children are as complicated as you make them. I mean of course babies need constant care, but not toddlers.
As far as fashion, I plan on being in my PP clothes soon. I hate being tubby.
My mom was the cool mom. The mom all of your friends confided in, our house was the house to hang out at, and my mom was the go to when we wanted to go somewhere. However, she does have mom hair, and wear mom clothes. I hope to be a mom like she was (my best friend, but also a mom) with holding on to my own style.
Though I have ditched my nose ring after 5 years...so maybe that's my first step in the mom direction. I guess we'll see...lol.