Having a hard time (long)

sarahns80 · October 2008

I feel like a horrible person. I found out we are having a girl and to be completely honest I was praying for a boy. I also "felt" like it might be a boy. My DH also openly admitted he wanted a boy. I am still so excited and will love her with all my heart, but I have to admit I am having a hard time adjusting to the fact that I'm having a girl. I know it is such a blessing to just have a healthy baby, and I am so thankful for that. And I also prayed for the right thing to happen so I know this is the right thing for us. Is anyone else having a hard time accepting that they are not having what they hoped for?

PlannedChaos · October 2008

Awww...hugs Sweetie. I know how you feel. My hubby thinks our baby is a boy, and a friend of mine has done several tarot readings which say I'm having a boy (if you buy into that), but I SOOOO want a girl. Will I love a boy just the same? OF COURSE...but I just want little girl dresses and games and dress up and all that! LOL.

bargar18 · October 2008

sarah-a friend of mine went in for an u/s at 26 weeks and found out ther her baby had all kinds of development problems....brain, limbs, stomach, heart...she had to abort her fetus at 26 weeks as the doctors said it wouldn't survive even if carried to term. not to sound harsh, but be happy that it's healthy and you're able to have a baby. there are millions of women out there that would trade places with you in a heart beat!

jenerally · October 2008

totally normal.

you'll get over it soon enough and wonder why you wanted a stoopid boy so much in the first place!

holly423 · October 2008

I have always wanted a little girl and this entire pregnancy I knew I was having a girl. But, when we had our big u/s we found out it was a boy. At first I was disappointed a little. After a few days we picked out a name and that really helped me connect. Now, I cannot imagine having a girl and am so excited to meet our son. If we found out it was actually a girl, I would be disappointed now. Give it a little time and you will be so excited.

Mjmksb04 · October 2008

Give yourself a few days or weeks even to warm up to it. I was convinced our baby was going to be a girl and when he ended up being a boy, I was a little disappointed. And I won't lie when I see the cute baby girl clothes and toys I still get a little bummed. But my H really wanted a boy and I have accepted that we are having a little guy and have really focused on all of the fun boy things that he and I will be able to do. It is normal and okay to be disappointed as long as you don't let it consume you. Good luck.

Garnetbaby09 · October 2008

You're pregnant! Just be glad for that. So many women can't get pregnant and would LOVE to be in our shoes right now. This will sound harsh, but get over it and go spend some time on the TTC board.

shoegalchanel · October 2008

You'll get over it. Wait until you go shopping for her, that will change your mind!!

JasonsLyric · October 2008

I can understand your disappointment. I think maybe you should venture to another board so you can appreciate just how blessed you are. A lot of people would love to have a girl. You're human and you're allowed to be a little upset at this time. When you meet her I know you'll forget all about the little boy you initially wanted.

holly423 · October 2008

Bargar - What your friend went through must have been horrible. I am so sorry for her loss. However, Sarah stated that she is happy to be having a healthy baby. It is totally normal to feel disappointment sometimes and you just can't help how you feel.

bargar18 · October 2008

Holly-my point was there there are people out there less fortunate...regardless of gender, she should be excited and not disappointed. like other girls have said, she should spend time on the TTC board for a while...

holly423 · October 2008

In anything in life - career, family, money, etc - there will always be someone less fortunate than you. That doesn't mean your feelings are less important. It is normal to feel disappointed sometimes.

Mjmksb04 · October 2008

holly423:
In anything in life - career, family, money, etc - there will always be someone less fortunate than you. That doesn't mean your feelings are less important. It is normal to feel disappointed sometimes.

I totally agree. That is tragic what happened to your friend, but I don't see how relaying that story is going to help the OP deal with her feelings. It doesn't make her feelings of disappointment any less valid.

Garnetbaby09 · October 2008

holly423:
In anything in life - career, family, money, etc - there will always be someone less fortunate than you. That doesn't mean your feelings are less important. It is normal to feel disappointed sometimes.

That is true, however in this instance I feel she should be happy she is pregnant instead of concentrating on the gender. Its a healthy baby regardless of whether its a boy or girl. Re-evaluate the priorities a minute. This is in no way related to how much money you bring in career wise or money wise.

holly423 · October 2008

Garnetbaby09:

holly423:
In anything in life - career, family, money, etc - there will always be someone less fortunate than you. That doesn't mean your feelings are less important. It is normal to feel disappointed sometimes.

That is true, however in this instance I feel she should be happy she is pregnant instead of concentrating on the gender. Its a healthy baby regardless of whether its a boy or girl. Re-evaluate the priorities a minute. This is in no way related to how much money you bring in career wise or money wise.

I didn't say that it was related to career or money. I said that because someone is less fortunate than you doesn't make your feelings less important. That is like telling someone who is pg that they shouldn't complain about morning sickness, backaches, swelling, or any other symptom just because there are some women who can't get pg.

Garnetbaby09 · October 2008

holly423:
Garnetbaby09:

holly423:
In anything in life - career, family, money, etc - there will always be someone less fortunate than you. That doesn't mean your feelings are less important. It is normal to feel disappointed sometimes.

That is true, however in this instance I feel she should be happy she is pregnant instead of concentrating on the gender. Its a healthy baby regardless of whether its a boy or girl. Re-evaluate the priorities a minute. This is in no way related to how much money you bring in career wise or money wise.

I didn't say that it was related to career or money. I said that because someone is less fortunate than you doesn't make your feelings less important. That is like telling someone who is pg that they shouldn't complain about morning sickness, backaches, swelling, or any other symptom just because there are some women who can't get pg.

You're not understanding my point. Telling a pg woman not to biitch about m/s or other symptoms is stupid b/c we are ALL dealing with that and that's what the boards are for, finding other pg women to relate to. The fact that we are PG is a blessing despite the gender, and if its not, it sure as hell should be, IMO. Personally, I was told I may not be able to get pg due to circumstances from when I was younger so when DH and I got the BFP we were ecstatic! The fact we are having a healthy baby girl is just that much more awesome. Biitching about being disapointed about the gender is ridiculous to me and the fact that you would compare women who can't get pg to the less fortunate who are inevitably out there is just as sad.

FMIL&MOB · October 2008

Congratulations on your baby and start looking at all the incredible cute things for girls. Everyone was certain what my DD was having and except for me they were all wrong. Funny thing is I'm probably the most shocked.

iris427 · October 2008

I think your disappointment is normal. Take a little time to feel it and then move on. You're having a beautiful baby and you will just love her once she gets here.

Deegirl322 · October 2008

Don't worry. I think everyone secretly hopes for one sex over the other. I have a feeling I'm having a boy and have convinced myself and am extremely happy so if the tech tells me next week I'm having a girl, sure I'll be a little disappointed since I want my intuition to be right. Give it some time and I'm sure you will be thrilled about the sex very soon.

Knottie1448927774 · October 2008

i completely understand your disappointment. just take it in and move on, before you know it you will be so in love with planning for your little girl, that you will probably look back and think you were crazy for being disappointed. congrats!!

on_the_move · October 2008

I completly understand and I agree with the girls who said to just give it time. I think this is one of the reasons why I wanted an ultrasound early. That way I have time to plan for and get used to the idea of a gender that I wasn't expecting.

Mrs.Pro · October 2008

yea, i very much understand. we had DD on 07 and we really thought we were having a boy. everyone thought so on both sides. DH was super excited, we had already picked out his name, bedset and everything. then found out last wed that it was a girl. we are def happy, she looks healthy and her and DD will be close in age and that will be good i think. but we were really looking forward to a boy, i can't say we're disappointed, just really surprised. its hard to think differently about the baby now, we're been thinking for so long it was a "he". so i know what you mean. i wouldn't feel bad about it, i kinda did at first though.

divakat · October 2008

I really wanted a girl this time, but found out I am having a boy and was kind of disappointed. Probably because I have a dd and have had so much fun with her, and I feel like I wouldn't know what to do with a boy. Trust me, little girls are soooo much fun! It's really cool also to see how daddies interact with their daughters. It's a very special bond. My dd has my dh wrapped around her finger. I know he's not going to be like that with our son. It's just a different relationship. I have gotten used to the fact that I am having a boy now, though, and am starting to get more excited about it.

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