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Major negativism @ 3? Anyone else?

jsugrinjsugrin member
in Northern California Babies

Recently Andrew has hit an insane negative streak.  He's not just being controlling, although I'm sure that plans it's own part, but he really seems to get upset about everything.

Today we had to go to the DMV and pack for our trip to the city.  All I've heard all day long is NO. 

"No you're not going to pay bill"  " No I don't want to go inside there" " No it's not time for us to leave" " No don't pack our stuff" " No we're not going anywhere" "No I don't want to stay here" 

It's making me feel crazy.  I know the kids have done a ton of traveling lately and it's wearing us all down but this seems like it's a lot more than that.  He'll tell me he doesn't want to eat something and then immediately tell me he does, or he doesn't want to watch his favorite cartoon and then oh wait yes I do.

Please tell me this is a short, short phase.

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Re: Major negativism @ 3? Anyone else?

  • shnellyshnelly

    Yeah, Ty does this too. It is such a pain. When I know he is just saying no as a reflex (meaning, I've asked him if he wants to eat his most favorite thing in the world), then I'll ask him again in a slightly different tone/way, or wait a second and then he'll correct his answer. I don't know if it takes a little longer for him to process what I am asking him and his automatic answer is no. After he thinks about it for 2 seconds, then he knows what he really wants. 

    Other times, he does this to be in control of the situation. So now I ask him what he wants to bring in the car when we go to grandma's (where he LOVES to go). or what snack/fruit does he want to have ready when he comes back. I do notice that it's the transitions are hard for him. His routine has been changing so much that saying no is probably easier for him than to say yes.

    Um, I've kinda given up that it's going away. I used to get really really frustrated, but have realized that he just needs more time to think or needs to be able to make a small decision when I'm trying to get him to move.

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  • NorcalLindsNorcalLinds
    I have a 3 year old boy that I watch at the gym daycare. He is going through that right now. His mom said he was an angel and never hit the terrible two's. She said the 3's have been hell.
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  • tri_bride05tri_bride05
    Ugh, I'm no help because we're going through the exact same thing right now and it is totally exhausting. Doesn't want to go somewhere, then doesn't want to leave. Never wants to do anything, eat anything, argh! And the "no....yes...no" responses are driving me insane. Unfortunately I've heard this is the 3s so I'm not sure it's a short phase. I think I just need to figure out a better way of dealing and I need to be more consistent with my responses, discipline, etc. which I've been a little lax on since it hasn't been an issue until now.
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  • SweetiePSweetieP
    imageshnelly:

    Yeah, Ty does this too. It is such a pain. When I know he is just saying no as a reflex (meaning, I've asked him if he wants to eat his most favorite thing in the world), then I'll ask him again in a slightly different tone/way, or wait a second and then he'll correct his answer. I don't know if it takes a little longer for him to process what I am asking him and his automatic answer is no. After he thinks about it for 2 seconds, then he knows what he really wants. 

    Other times, he does this to be in control of the situation. So now I ask him what he wants to bring in the car when we go to grandma's (where he LOVES to go). or what snack/fruit does he want to have ready when he comes back. I do notice that it's the transitions are hard for him. His routine has been changing so much that saying no is probably easier for him than to say yes.

    Um, I've kinda given up that it's going away. I used to get really really frustrated, but have realized that he just needs more time to think or needs to be able to make a small decision when I'm trying to get him to move.

    THis is exactly how I'm handling it...if I try to force the issues, it just gets so much worse.
    Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
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