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Oh no. More awkward moments with my mother....

SkatcatSkatcat
in Pregnant after a Loss
Do you all remember when I posted a couple of months ago about my mom being really upset about not being in the room with myself and Mr. Skat when I deliver?

Well, she's currently visiting and while she hasn't brought up the idea of her being in there again, she did say she wants to be here for the birth (my parents live in Hawaii).  When I said I didn't know when I'd be delivering, she said, "well, I'll just come in December and stay until they come."

Mind you, I'm not actually due until Jan 11 so that could mean she's there for weeks before I actually give birth. Ugh. How on earth am I going to tell her that's not a good idea?
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Re: Oh no. More awkward moments with my mother....

  • MrsRoehl_2008MrsRoehl_2008
    I'm afraid my mom will be the same way and want to come for Easter (from SoCal to DC) and just stick around for a month.  If you figure out how to tell your mom that it's not the best idea, let me know! 
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  • NoVaIrishNoVaIrish
    I would push the whole I am going to want/need you here when the babies come home and don't want you to have to be away from Dad for a really long time. I would also mention that you are planning to work up until the end (if you are) and that you guys wouldn't get to spend that much time with her, plus you want some time with your DH before you guys add kids to the mix.
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  • FredsNeyFredsNey

    Oh no!  My mom did that and did ended up staying with us before and after Kate's delivery.  She's kind of a force of nature....

    Good luck!!! 

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  • SkatcatSkatcat

    That last bit really is the key one, Nova. We have a housemate that we've lived with for years, he's only moving out Nov 1. I really want to have at least a few weeks of time with just Mr. Skat and I before the world blows up...

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  • evasmommyevasmommy
    Yeah, I'm not sure what I'd do.  I love my mom, and she was really helpful for a week after Eva was born, but I think if she had come early I would've been ready to shoot her by then.   Do you think maybe saying "I would love it if you came when the babies are born because I could really use your help then." would work? 
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  • SkatcatSkatcat

    I don't think so, eva's mom.  She's already planning on staying for several weeks AFTER they are born as well.

    *sigh*

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  • CurlyM-CCurlyM-C
    I feel your pain. That's actually a big fear of mine too. I don't want her in the same state let alone the room when I'm in labor, she would not make me feel better at all. Sad, but true.
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  • NoVaIrishNoVaIrish

    Desperate times call for desperate measures, my friend.

    If it comes down to it, I'll fly to Cali and kidnap your Mom for a few weeks.  I'll be nice to her and all when I look her in the closet so don't worry.

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  • moniquittamoniquitta
    Does she have limited vacation time?  If she does... I would use the whole thing that you will need her help more after they are born.  My sister was so very thankful for the extra help that my mom and I were able to give her the month after her twins were born.
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  • MiaMichelleMiaMichelle
    Poor you, Skat!  I DEFINITELY think you are going to need your mom around for a good month after the little ones are here... so tell her that it is in THAT period where you are really going to need her, and before the babies get here, you really just want to enjoy some peace and quiet with Mr. Skat.  Even though, truth be told, you likely won't make it to 40 weeks with twins!  Has your doc given you any idea how long you'll go for?
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  • TheEnglishgirlTheEnglishgirl
    I agree with other post, why don't you say you shall need her help more when the babies come out and that the time before will be really special for you to just be with your husband.
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  • marinabridemarinabride
    Tell her you and DH are having babymoon time during the weeks before hand. Remind her that even your housemate is moving out so you can have this romantic time together and how excited you are about this ALONE time. Try asking her to come in January so then she will not feel like she is being excluded from the actual birth and you will have a longer period of time with her after. My mom mentioned coming to stay with us after the birth. Ugh. she will drive me crazy. Plus, we do not have spare room. She would be on couch with bad back. Not my idea of help. My MIL went to stay with my SIL when they had their first. She had some sort of panic attack the first night and they had to take her to the hospital. She had to go home instead. So, don't think she will be busting down my door. She is fine helping with the little ones now but I think the newborn was too overwhelming. So even our parents don't realize they need to dial back sometimes!
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