does your so watch your multiples alone?

shipoopiisforme · October 2010

mh is going to a bachelor party this weekend so i mentioned that i could really use a day with my girl friends in the next month or so. he responded that he will have his parents come that day to help him.

he has never been alone with the twins for more than 45 minutes. i think he should be able to watch them by himself for the day, but he is unwilling to try. it makes me nervous that if the need ever arose he would be unable to handle both babies by himself.

so when did your so watch your multiples for an extended (more than 2-3 hours) period of time?

Haven1 · October 2010

Oh yeah. He even told me once that he didn't think I gave him a chance to watch them alone often enough.

He's done wake-up, bedtime, and several extended periods of time during the weekends. I usually leave him plenty of pre-made bottles though since the pre-feed, double scream is a little stressful for him.

Honestly, I think our stay in the NICU was the biggest factor in him being so involved and comfortable. Those nurses forced both of us to jump in and do things ASAP.

benkari · October 2010

Mine will take 2 for the entire day but all 4 for only a couple hours once in awhile.

DarthBaby · October 2010

Yup, quite a bit actually. Plus he has to watch my almost 2 year old daughter. I think the first time he was alone was just for a couple hours while the 2 year old and I ran errands when they were around 6 weeks old? Just this last weekend he watched them all together a couple times while my sister was in town.

In the next month we both have a trips out of state where we will be left home alone for a couple nights with all three. We can do it!

I think you just have to get them used to hanging out with them alone in small increments and then work up. Sure he can get overwhelmed when all three are there - but so do I. You just have to work through it and stay calm.

carolina1178 · October 2010

yes...he likes the challenge, lol!! he has also watched all 3 kids at once, only for a few hours and their fell in the middle but still he managed.

i think it is normal to feel overwhelmed but I agree, i would feel more comfortable knowing that he is capable of it should something happen. Sometimes that is the best way to learn..just get thrown in and deal with it :-)

good luck!

LakeGenevaBride · October 2010

I work weekends so my DH has to watch the kids all day. He usually goes to the dog park with them (pushes them in stroller). He also takes them to his gym b/c they have 2 hrs of free childcare

I don't call and check up on him anymore.

leslie13510 · October 2010

Yes he does, when he's not deployed. He has since they were born, though the first time it was longer than 2-3 hours was probably when they were at least 4 months old, not because he didn't think he could handle it, the need just never came up until later.

katsblaze · October 2010

My DH will. He started pretty early on with me running out to have "me" time since I had been in the house so long because of bedrest. Now, he would even take care of them for a couple of days by himself if he had to. It was a learning process for both us from the start.

BelleBaby · October 2010

DH actually did a night alone with them when they were 3 months old! I had a work trip overnight that I couldn't get out of. They did pretty well. We've both done extended stays with them (several hours at a time).

This may be a good time to throw him in the deep end and see if he can swim. They're his kids. He knows how to take care of them. He just needs to suck it up and do it. I was terrified when DH went back to work and all of my help left when the boys were really little, but you won't know what you can do until you try.

macchiatto · October 2010

Pretty much from the beginning. I was really loopy from the drugs they gave me and at high risk of a postpartum MS relapse (stress would further increase the risk while getting some rest would counteract the stress and therefore lower the risk) so H let me sleep for longer stretches from the beginning. We started supplementing on day 3 (and I would also leave bottles of pumped breast milk) so that I didn't have to wake up every couple of hours around the clock in order to BF them. He would watch them for up to 8 hrs at a time from pretty early on, and when we split the night shift (which we did for the first 5 months), he had them on his own from about 7 p.m. to 1 or 2 a.m. every night. In terms of being on his own with them while I left the house, he's done it for half days now and then, and shorter stretches fairly often. Your H definitely needs to work on feeling comfortable taking care of them on his own!

4510heather · October 2010

Obviously not yet given that our girls aren't here yet, but my DH is going to be a SAHD, so he'll be the primary caregiver during the day. He's a little nervous, but feels fully capable of doing it.

jbl126 · October 2010

When the girls were younger, DH would have his mom come over to help him. Granted, I liked having her there. Sometimes the double crying can get to you. Now, he is able to do it alone. And I dont feel so nervous leaving them altogether.

kristyn&ken · October 2010

I told DH before we ever had children that there would be no "babysitting" his own children and that I expected him to be able to do all the things I could do. He kept all three of them last Saturday from about 4 pm until noon the next day.

SoldiersGreenBean · October 2010

Absolutely. He watches all 3 by himself, too. We don't have family nearby to help, so we don't have that option.

babya2010 · October 2010

So far, he hasn't, unless I make a quick trip to the grocery store or pick up a pizza, etc. Like your DH I could totally picture mine calling up his parents to help him if I needed to be gone fore more than a few hours. I would love to get out and do something with my girl friends or even shopping for a couple hours alone with my mom (or just plain alone!) Guess I better get on him about it, lol. But in his defense, he doesn't really go out either. I mean, he works during the day and I stay home with them but as far as me going out alone... no. The one time he did go out with his buddies my mom and I took the babies to the mall - and had a good time!!

Temp6313048411121614 · October 2010

DH will watch all of ours himself but prefers not to and I'm ok with that. I don't see any harm in him having his parents come over to "help". Don't worry, your H will be able to watch them alone if need be, but there's nothing wrong with wanting help IMO.

FaeryStarGazer · October 2010

He watched them from day one. He put up a stink about it the first time he was going to be alone with them, but I quickly reminded him that they were his children, too and he needed to NUT UP. If I can do it every single day, he can handle one Saturday.

amanda31H · October 2010

Yes. First time was at 8 weeks for 3.5 hours or so while I went to a bridal shower. He's also put them to bed without me.

Temp159135562506975 · October 2010

my DH is great with kids - he has NO problem watching all three of our kids alone... for days if needed when i have to travel for work.

redshoegirl · October 2010

Yup. He does wake up every day so I get a chance to sleep in a little (the boys are teething and nights have been hell). He's also done the occasional afternoon while I go shopping, and has done one - soon to be two - entire day solo when I had to be absent from 8am-8pm.

I think it's one of those things where even though it makes you nervous (and I was nervous for that 12 hour day!), the only way he'll learn to cope is by actually doing it. And even if it doesn't go perfectly - if there are crying jags or the routine isn't adhered to or whatever - as long as everyone gets fed, changed, and has a nap at some point, it will be fine.

It might be overwhelming for him at first (it was for my DH, although he's totally fine now), but it's overwhelming for anyone, including us MoMs, until you build up confidence - and the only way for that to happen is to just do it, kwim?

juliannat · October 2010

I have no advice to give, obviously, but have the same worry as you - although I know my DH will be just fine, as will yours. I really just wanted to say how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE your siggy pic - T&M are soooo cute!

xxyankeegrl823xx · October 2010

DH has never been alone with the twins. Anytime I have to go out even for a few hours he calls his mom or my mom to come over. I know he could handle it as he does take the night feedings alone when he is off from work but he panics that he can't handle it without someone atleast being in the house with him. I have no problem with this since both of our families live close and they are the first grandkids on my side my parents are usuallly looking for excuses to come over anyway. Once they get a little older I know he will be fine he just gets nervous because they are still small and as he says "fragile" he's already gotten a thousand times better handling them in the last 6 weeks so I know as they get bigger he will be fine to stay alone with them.

britbswoo · October 2010

When I went back to work at 3 months DH became a SAHD, his mom and my mom come over after they get off work to give him a break until I get home Mon-Thurs.

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