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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
DD - MIL not watching baby due to Ajax indcident
Either she DDed, or I got blocked. I'll assume the former.
Why the DD? I was in a small handful of people who disagreed with you. I still contend that a few mistakes, that your MIL presumably learned from, should not warrant a "you're unfit to babysit" declaration.
My MIL, and my GMIL, used a wooden spoon on DH and his brothers for emphasis when they got out of line (they weren't beaten, but they were slightly more than spanked). The 'grandma spoon' was passed from GMIL to MIL when I got pg with DD1.
DH and I agreed that it was to NEVER happen, EVER. MIL is still allowed to babysit (without supervision, even), because I trust DH handled it. Here's the key, though: we are on the same page about the action and the outcome.
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Re: DD - MIL not watching baby due to Ajax indcident
wait. what?
i wouldnt let that MIL of yours come close to my child alone. just bc she cant hit her with a wooden spoon doesn't mean that she has completely changed her mind about child rearing. gross.
Just because someone spanked their own children does not mean they are just going to walk around spanking other children all willy nilly.
Just because someone spanked their own children does not mean they are just going to walk around spanking other children all willy nilly.
you think someone who believes that hitting your child with a wooden spoon doesn't see anything wrong with swatting your kids' hand - even if you told them not to? or spanking bc "they were in danger"? thats extremely naive of you. you cant change someone's child discipline beliefs bc "you had a talk with them".
I do think there is a VERY distinct difference between how you parent your own children and how you handle someone else's. My parents spanked me. We're not going to spank our kids. I have zero doubt that my parents will abide by our wishes. He's my kid, not theirs. They're not crazy.
she didnt spank - she hit her kids with spoons. thats a drastic gray area, kwim? there's a lot between "hits with objects" and "wont hit at all". where as spanking to "please dont spank my kids" is pretty much a step or 2 off lol
Yes. I agree with Buddha. You dont see teachers and police and daycare providers and other persons who may be involved in some type of child dicipline going around spanking other peoples kids just because they choose to spank their own at home. Thats proposterous.
I know to each there own but having come from a family with 8 kids I know there are more effective ways of disciplining a child and regardless of what drama there might be its just unacceptable for any reason to hit someone else's child. So its your child and your descision: Allow them to spank your child or tell them frankly NO. But did you really carry that child for 9 months to have your ILs take the reigns on discipline.
this is my exact point. you cannot go from someone who beats their kids (as yankee pointed out. hitting with an object is NOT spanking) to completely being a normal disciplinarian. they still have the mindset that harsher things should be done. ie: the time outs jennifer had.
Very rarely do I start a debate here. Fun!
I understand, and agree with, all of the points. The way my DH describes it, it was an occasional whack on the behind for emphasis. It's not a situation that I grew up in - my parents spanked me occasionally, but never with an object. Neither scenario is acceptable with our children.
Punk, I absolutely have had reservations about it, in DD's early childhood. DH knows where I stand, and he's in agreement. He made it clear to MIL that it was not to happen with our children, ever. Should it happen, DD is old enough to tell us. MIL would not be allowed near our children again, and she knows it.
It helps that they live 550 miles from here, so we don't see my ILs much.
Did she really DD? I was the first to disagree, and I think I was very nice.
Also to add, some people believe you should only spank with an object, not your hands. Spanking with your hands teaches your children to be afraid of you. I have heard this argument, but I may be stating it wrong.
I'll jump on the dead horse...
The way I see it is this. If someone is willing to go to an extreme as spanking (which is an extreme in my book, as the times I've seen it implemented it was as a last resort because the parents were at their wits end and frustrated.) Then in the heat of the moment, when they reach that moment when they're frustrated, they're going to use extremes. Maybe not everyone, but every child is different. The extremes I pushed my parents to, my DD probably wont, since my parents will probably treat Annabelle differently than they did me. However, I still think that if they do push my parents buttons and Annabelle doesnt respond well enough to their punishments, there is the possibility that they could resort to extreme measures. This possibility is too much for me. But that's just an example. My parents didnt spank.