so....is anyone else dreading christmas

barefootandhappy · October 2010

With the new baby, we have even less money than normal. Honestly, if we stick to the budget, we really only have enough for the direct family. Already stressed thinking about it.

We've got 2 parents, 2 step parents, 2 step kids, 1 sister, and 3 other step kids that are in college, but I still feel like I have to get them something because we still buy for DH's sister, who is in the same household. Crap, I forgot DH's grandmother.

That doesn't even include our friends who will be getting hugs for christmas this year.

We do christmas morning with my parents at our house, so I kinda have to get them something, but if I get them something, I feel like we have to get all the other parents/step parents things too. Grump.

Jaimers375 · October 2010

Maybe this would be a good opportunity to incorporate a secret santa type of thing. We do that with my family and it's worked out well. It lets you focus on the important things about Christmas.

neferhathor · October 2010

yeah I definitely am. DH and I were walking around target the other day and were discussing christmas gifts. His family draws names so I'm not worried about them, but my family goes crazy with the gift giving. I'm thinking of suggesting to my family we draw names too. I'm not sure how it will go, but it's worth a try. I'll still get my parents something each, but it won't be as nice as it usually is.

kg_08 · October 2010

At least you've got a little bit of time to save up right? Also (and I know this may sound bad) If people give you gift cards for showers you could use those to buy gifts.

We're only doing parents and siblings this year, and it's like a $25 limit for each.

katlor9 · October 2010

I don't think we'll be doing gifts from "us"... just the baby. So we are going to keep it simple and little. We were thinking of an ornament or snow globe with his picture in it. Basically everyone in the family will probably be getting the same thing! We're also not spending a lot on each other. I'll still be on maternity around Christmas time, so the extra money will be very limited.

chewbecca · October 2010

I'm not dreading Christmas, but I completely understand your position. I'll be on maternity leave (which means reduced pay) for the holidays, so I'm nervous about how much money we'll have to spend. To help gear in the spending this year, DH & I decided to get a Deep Freezer for the house (instead of buying for each other).

When everyone started having kids, we started a new rule. It became more about the kids than everyone else. So...we buy 1 gift per couple, and 1 gift per child (unless, of course, they're our own). My family even took it a step further to keep spending under control - there are price limits set on the couple gifts and the childrens' gifts.

Maybe with the arrival of your LO you and DH could talk it over with your families and see how they respond to the idea? I can't imagine in today's economy people would be opposed to saving some money!

Good luck finding a solution that works for your wallet!!

For both of our families, when everyone started having kids - , and the rest of the family we're just doing "couple" gifts.

chewbecca · October 2010

neferhathor:
yeah I definitely am. DH and I were walking around target the other day and were discussing christmas gifts. His family draws names so I'm not worried about them, but my family goes crazy with the gift giving. I'm thinking of suggesting to my family we draw names too. I'm not sure how it will go, but it's worth a try. I'll still get my parents something each, but it won't be as nice as it usually is.

We've done the name drawing thing in the past - and it's always gone over really well. That's a great idea too!

welcel · October 2010

Here's what I do. I put together a photo collage in an inexpensive frame of pictures of the baby, and the baby with the recipient. This seems to make family much happier then perfume or a new tool belt would anyway:)

Good luck!

mb1210 · October 2010

I am doing home made gifts for my family and then we are doing gift cards for my hubby's family. We are cutting back this year (and from here on out) because we will have a baby (more expense) and less income. I'm cutting out b-days too. I don't want to sound bitchy, but I'd rather just get together as a family and do dinner together than have the pressure of all the gifts. But, everyone else is all about the gifts, so I'll give them but they will be small.

EliseJacqueline · October 2010

I am dreading Christmas too!!! Sort of for the same reasons, sort of not ...

DH and his family don't celebrate Christmas so we don't have to buy them anything, but I LOVE Christmas more than anything and this causes fights for DH and me quite frequently. I have been off work so DH's money is the only money we have and he doesn't believe in Christmas and therefore NO MONEY for gifts! My mom already agreed to bring me a tree while he is at work

So anyhow, everyone in my family is getting homemade gifts this year! Pictures of the new baby are always a good idea for the grown-ups and the kids are getting tins of homemade treats. Kids love sugar and I think they always like to have something that is their own. If the family thinks I am being cheap, then too bad!

You have a brand new baby and they need to be understanding of that! Let's not forget that Christmas is supposed to be about family, not gifts!

Lina1030 · October 2010

i know many people that only buy gifts for the children in their families. some of my friends also do a "secret santa" type deal since they have large families...and some create a max spending amount for the "secret santa" gift they buy. One year I remember the requirement was to "make a gift" GL!

chewbecca · October 2010

welcel:

Here's what I do. I put together a photo collage in an inexpensive frame of pictures of the baby, and the baby with the recipient. This seems to make family much happier then perfume or a new tool belt would anyway:)

Good luck!

Ooooh! Good idea...I'm snatching that one!!! It's a cute personalized gift I can give my sisters & mom...they'll LOVE it!

Disneygeek77 · October 2010

We are buying gifts for the little kids and we will get each family a gift certificate to a restaurant. That will help us cut down on the expense.

MSC03 · October 2010

Our family only buys for children anymore. Sometimes we do a gift exchange, $20 limit.

Ms.MKBT · October 2010

We anticipated this for this year, so we started a savings account just for Christmas- part of my paycheck automatically goes into it so we have about $20 per person in our families (we have huge families) and a little extra for us. It will really help.

GavsMomAlready+Newbie · October 2010

I'm usually a SAHM, but I just got a job nights and weekends to help with Christmas. (So tired!)

I feel ya on the gift giving thing. If we just did kids, there would be our DS (+ new baby, but I'm just re-wrapping things I already have for her to make my son happy). Then my brother who I pretty much raise.

my side extended kids= 7 his side extended kids= 6

But realistically we have to do parent gifts, sooo add 3. And I always get my grandmother something...

17 presents? Plus our kids? Oh, and I have to get my SO something right? Good thing I get a discount at my work!

kellsdanz · October 2010

Your family should understand that you have a special situation this year. I would only focus on getting stuff for the kids. Adults should understand this. This is what my family does. We buy specifics for the kids and do a grab bag type of thing for the adults.

girgirgir · October 2010

I have two go-to gifts: 1) books or 2) museum/orchestra/zoo/park memberships. In the grand scheme of things, neither ends up being overly expensive.

RachelG83 · October 2010

Maybe it's just me being silly and hormonal but I didn't realize that enjoying Christmas was hinged on how much you could spend on gifts for your families. Seems to me like there's so much more to it and if your families don't understand that this year is a little different with a new baby (or one on the way depending on when you're due) then they're missing something.

aimeemb06 · October 2010

I'm definitely in the same boat. I love Christmas, the whole season, and love to buy gifts for people, but baby will be here and I think that families and friends understand that baby puts pressure on the wallet. Since Christmas is normally a pretty hard holiday with or without a baby, we always draw names and set a spending limit, then get the all the kiddos something as well. Every person gets a gift and everyone is happy!!

gdssofshdws · October 2010

One thing I found to curb the expense of gifts for kids at Christmas and birthdays:

shop at Target. All the time. Seriously. They have toys on sale and if you keep an eye on them you can get some super cheap ones. I got my BFF oldest a My Little Pony thing for $10. It was $50 originally. I also got her a hopscotch thing. Normally $30, got it at BBB for $4 on clearance.

Our closet looks like a toy store exploded by the end of the year, but well worth it and then no crazy bills!

happilyeverafter2005 · October 2010

I am not dreading Chirstmas but as far as gifts are concerned I am little worried about that because of money.

I have enough going on right now not to have to worry about that. One of my friends has already started shopping but think of it this way-those who have started shopping already are not getting ready to have a baby!! We are!!

Disneygeek77 · October 2010

gdssofshdws:

One thing I found to curb the expense of gifts for kids at Christmas and birthdays:

shop at Target. All the time. Seriously. They have toys on sale and if you keep an eye on them you can get some super cheap ones. I got my BFF oldest a My Little Pony thing for $10. It was $50 originally. I also got her a hopscotch thing. Normally $30, got it at BBB for $4 on clearance.

Our closet looks like a toy store exploded by the end of the year, but well worth it and then no crazy bills!

Oohh right good idea. I check out TRU for special buys. I found these felt food packs made by Rose Petal Cottage that are just adorable for about $3 each when normally they are closer to $17. I bought about 8 of them and will be giving our niece two of them ( pizza and ice cream sundae) for Christmas.

OliveBaby · October 2010

I'm not dreading it in the least. On the contrary, I'm ridiculously excited. Because we're going to have a newborn, we won't be traveling to see family. They're coming to us. There will be excellent company and lots of delicious food. And, I'll be able to drink wine again.

Any presents that get exchanged will be a bonus.

luckyfrgg · October 2010

How about baked goods? Another fun idea that my sister did one year was she made up mason jars full of cookie ingredients and tied them up in pretty bows with baking directions.

GavsMomAlready+Newbie · October 2010

luckyfrgg:
How about baked goods? Another fun idea that my sister did one year was she made up mason jars full of cookie ingredients and tied them up in pretty bows with baking directions.

That's a good idea! I always like getting those

LoveyFNR · October 2010

Dreading christmas is a nice way of putting it for me. For one, DH and I are on tight budgets without having to worry about stupid presents and I have about 15 immediate family members I need to buy for. Needless to say they will all be getting something small from me.

The worst part is when I ask them what they want.......they don't really think about my situation. Young, financially tight and with a newborn baby. All family members have requested gifts $100 or more. I'm not made out of damn money. Can't you figure something out you want for $50??!

The gifts don't upset me near as much as the traveling though. Living in Minnesota where it is below zero and snow blizzards by December. Last Christmas DH and I had to make our 30 minute trip into 3 hours to avoid skidding off into a ditch like the 17 cars I counted on the way home. It was awful. And they want me to drive in this weather with a baby that will be 3-4 weeks old?

I'm totally feeling like Grinch this x-mas.

uluvfranke · October 2010

we use our credit cards to pay almost all bills, and immediatly pay them off so we can build up bonus points. haha. last year we had $200 to target, $50 bed bath and beyond and several $25 resteraunt gift cards. And technically we didnt pay for any of it. so it worked out great!

NillaWafers · October 2010

I am, last year was a scrooge Christmas. We had just gotten married, and moved into a new house. Everything was packed away and we had no furniture...the best we could afford was a charlie brown tree and some lights, we didn't even get each other gifts!

We've agreed that after this year, we won't be getting siblings gifts, DH has 4 siblings and I have 1. Parents we are going to try and get one big gift that they both can use. Fortunately my grandparents want to not exchange gifts anymore, so that makes it easier. His GP's though, still do so we have them.

For the people who I can't afford to give gifts to, I'll be making baked goods for. That stretches a long way and its the thought that counts.

ntimmons · October 2010

IMO Christmas should not be about stressing over gifts. 'Tis not the reason for the season you could say.

I would buy small gifts for the children and donate what was left in the adults names...nobody can argue with that and as adults, do we generally really need more stuff? It also fits with what Christmas should be about (again, IMO).

locash · October 2010

You should really consider the name draw. It is crazy how much we were all spending every year before that. Now, we each get one person to buy for (so 2 people per couple) and then the kids.

I can usually buy the kids a toy/game and an outfit and keep each under $25. Board games are so cheap and the kids just love them!

DH's family still gifts to everyone, so it can be expensive.

BeachM · October 2010

amy052006:
I'm dreading Christmas for some reasons, but gifts are not one of them. I don't know, gifts are expenses, and we made a point to make sure we had our expenses under control when we decided to have a kid. Sure, kids cost more. But we haven't painted ourselves into a corner with this kid that we can't pick up a few gift cards.
I think there are always ways to cut back and to be a smarter shopper. I'll hit the outlets for some gifts for sure. I am not anti-coupon. But I think to a certain extent the arrival of a baby is an easy cop when there are probably other financial issues that can be addressed. If your budget doesn't have a couple hundred bucks wiggle room at the holidays, maybe it is time to look at it more closely.
Now, granted there are people out there in legitimate fire straits, AND gifts should not be the focus of the season. But that is way different from a normal working couple saying, "We aren't buying gifts because we have a baby", especially when plenty of people with kids have been buying you gifts for years.

This is what I was going say, but you are more articulate than I am.

Temp984666312503071 · October 2010

I agree with Secret Santa.

My DH has 3 brothers - two of which are married - and there are several nieces and nephews. Since babies started arriving we decided to do a Secret Santa draw. None of us are hurting for money but we all agree that shopping fot he LOs is more fun and more important.

Last year we did a $100 limit and each drew one name. That way we all got one nice thing and not 10 junky things. Plus, we could focus our shopping on the LOs.

Buying for my mom is always the hardest for me. She has expensive taste and if she wants something typically goes and gets it so I feel like I have to really wrack my brain.

BananaBlitz · October 2010

neferhathor:
yeah I definitely am. DH and I were walking around target the other day and were discussing christmas gifts. His family draws names so I'm not worried about them, but my family goes crazy with the gift giving. I'm thinking of suggesting to my family we draw names too. I'm not sure how it will go, but it's worth a try. I'll still get my parents something each, but it won't be as nice as it usually is.

This is exactly how it is with my family and H's family.

We changed things a little with my family -- on my mom's side, all of the kids (we've expanded due to marriages/relationships) do a Secret Santa, and we all buy for my mom/her significant other who is pretty much like my stepfather. There is very little extended family on this side, so its not an issue for us.

For my dad's side (no additional siblings to account for) we buy for my dad and his girlfriend, and the extended family recently decided no gifts for another other than children.

Jinsy80 · October 2010

I will be on disability during Christmas, so we'll just be struggling to buy gifts for the kids. I'm shopping early...need to get them done first. I'll get something for my mom too. That's it!

woollypetals · October 2010

I didn't read all the responses, so someone may have already suggested this.

But what about just cute pictures of the baby in a nice frame, or on an ornament. Of course the kiddos may not like it but you could do more of a family gift this year.

My parents said not to get them anything because we have enough going on, but I can't do that. Although Christmas will be simpler this year. And DH's family is all struggling financially do to being out of work, or not a lot of work in there business so it will be a light Christmas with all of them.

p.s. your baby is the best Christmas gift, so except for kids I am sure everybody else will be happy that the baby is here and healthy.

SpinFreak13 · October 2010

NicoleCaley:
Dreading christmas is a nice way of putting it for me. For one, DH and I are on tight budgets without having to worry about stupid presents and I have about 15 immediate family members I need to buy for. Needless to say they will all be getting something small from me.
The worst part is when I ask them what they want.......they don't really think about my situation. Young, financially tight and with a newborn baby. All family members have requested gifts $100 or more. I'm not made out of damn money. Can't you figure something out you want for $50??!
The gifts don't upset me near as much as the traveling though. Living in Minnesota where it is below zero and snow blizzards by December. Last Christmas DH and I had to make our 30 minute trip into 3 hours to avoid skidding off into a ditch like the 17 cars I counted on the way home. It was awful. And they want me to drive in this weather with a baby that will be 3-4 weeks old?
I'm totally feeling like Grinch this x-mas.

Why you gotta be all Minnesota nice? Just say no. If that same weather hits this year, we're not going anywhere. Oh well. It's not worth it traveling with an infant just to please the family.

grnshdw · October 2010

There are nice, inexpensive things you can do for gift exchanges. I HATE gifts to be honest with you- most times it is something I do not want or need and then I hold onto it trying to figure out what to do with it in fear that I will offend someone. My favorite gifts of all times:

- My Grandma made us each a photo album of old pictures of us and our family. It was amazing, and unfortunately she passed away the following spring. I treasure it always. You could do something like this for your family as well.

- Baked goods- there is nothing better than a variety of cookies in a tin that I did not have to bake myself!!!

- My other Grandma made a photo collage of all of our family photos, stapled it to a large piece of construction paper and put a calendar at the bottom that had our birthdays and anniversaries listed.

I made picture frames one year for the kids- I bought plain frames, painted them and then for the boys I put foam sticker basketballs, soccer balls, and footballs with their names(foam letters). For the girls, I painted them silver glitter with a feather boa edge and put their names on in foam letters. They were a hit and very inexpensive.

The ideas are cheaper and personal. It may take time- but if you are not shopping all through the holidays then you can use your time differently. The worst is if your family doesn't warm up to the idea of a name draw or something along those lines. My immediate family does not want to do that- which drives me insane. Good luck!

melissa4252008 · October 2010

We slashed my ungrateful SILs off our list, so that helps. We set a limit of about $15 for our nieces/nephew/my little cousins. We are doing bottles of wine for my other cousins/aunts/uncles and we know what we are doing for our parents.

We decided no gifts for each other, our son is our gift and we want to spend our money on him and things we need for our family.

I am really looking forward to decorating the house, as always, but otherwise I guess how I feel about the holiday coming up will really depend on how I'm feeling at the time! Right now, I can barely even think about it I'm so focused on this little guy!

LolliLately · October 2010

I love buying gifts...I get a ridiculous amount of joy from it. My biggest concern this year is not having the time or energy to shop. We don't go crazy, but I really do enjoy the hunt for a good, reasonable priced, gift. Some of our gifts will be baby related this year, mostly because it is the first baby and our family is super excited.

Last year a co-worker told me about her family's gift exchange - everything had to be "As Seen on TV" or sold in an infomercial! Her family had a fabulous time, and the gifts were personal and a little wacky. I am toying with the idea of suggesting this to DH's family.

Mrs.JBowman@gmail.com · October 2010

kg_08:
At least you've got a little bit of time to save up right? Also (and I know this may sound bad) If people give you gift cards for showers you could use those to buy gifts.

We have def done this in the past! It works great and no one knows! Also, most people would love a picture of LO.

KG_08 I have to tell you that your daughter is soooo cute!

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