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I don't want a "traditional" shower - help!

MarkakisMarkakis
in Baby Showers

My mom and sister are throwing me a baby shower this February and have asked if I had any opinions on what I'd like/not like. I am beyond grateful that they are doing this and have told them that I am definitely not looking for or expecting a "typical" shower held at a restaurant...I feel like the cost of such an event isn't necessary, and I am totally fine with a more intimate and casual get together with close family and friends. (Initially I thought a backyard BBQ with all our family and friends would be such a fun and inexpensive way to celebrate, but unfortunately timing doesn't work). They are on-board, but we're having trouble figuring out the logistics. An at-home shower with simple apps and desserts would be perfect, but despite the already cut guest list, no one has a home that could comfortably accommodate all those people.  I've been to tons of showers held at restaurants and I just don't want anything that "formal."

Maybe it's just the area I'm in (NY) but it seems like most people opt for the bigger to-do at a nice restaurant, while they sit in front of the crowd opening gifts for hours. They're nice, but really not my style. Anyone have any ideas for something different and more casual/intimate?

TIA

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Re: I don't want a "traditional" shower - help!

  • ashleah83ashleah83 member

    Are you in an urban area?  I live in Boston and a number of the buildings here have common areas/rooms that you can reserve.  My building has a lobby/gallery with a little kitchenette that you can host events and a number of my friend's buildings have similar common room spaces that can be rented.  We use the spaces often to have "at-home" events that can accommodate larger groups.

    Good luck! 

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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    Well, if space is an issue, you could still do it at a restaurant but w/ your smaller list.  Doing it at a restaurant doesn't mean you have to invite a ton of people.

    In my circle, doing showers at someones home is usually the norm, but for my baby shower, they ended up doing it at a restaurant. Like you, I was concerned about the expense.  But my friends assured me it wasn't overly expensive and for the time they'll save having to set up and clean up- it's worth it (which is something else to think about).

    however, it was a Sunday brunch and I felt it was still casual.  Not formal at all.  I actually specifically wore jeans to keep that casual feel! 

    I've actually been to one other baby shower at a restaurant and it was one of my favorite.  They served mimosa's before, we mingled, etc.  Then we all sat for brunch, then while dessert and coffee was served, the mom-to-be opened her gifts.  No games or anything like that, and I had a VERY nice, relaxing time.

    For as much as I see the benefits of doing it at home, I actualy realize that for the hosts, it's stressful and a LOT of work for them.  Usually, i see the hosts running around trying to keep up w/ everything. Where as at a restaurant, they can enjoy it more because they don't have to worry about the food.

    And again - I dont' think it has to be a formal thing.  I really don't!

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • MarkakisMarkakis
    Ashleah - I forgot to mention...my parents' condo has a beautiful common area...we've had several parties there but they've since instituted a rule that says you can only reserve the space up to 30 days in advance...kinda hard to do when invites need to be made and sent with more notice...and of course if we go to reserve it 30 days ahead of time, there's no saying someone didn't beat us to it. Ugh. Stupid condo rules! But yeah, this would've been a perfect option!
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  • MrsT0522MrsT0522 member

    I agree with PP. I would a BBQ style shower too, but since yours is in Feb, that won't really work. Are there lakeside pavillions you could rent out?

    What about renting out a bowling ally? Or something similar, like a Dave N Busters?

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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    imageMarkakis:
    you can only reserve the space up to 30 days in advance...kinda hard to do when invites need to be made and sent with more notice...
    Eh, my invitations went out 3 weeks ahead of time! 

    BUT - still, you need to know where it's going to be further out.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

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  • CortsCorts member
    Look at local firehouses, I have been to gorgeous ones, and they all have great kitchens,
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  • irollynnirollynn
    I'm sure NY in feb. is very cold and probably snowing, otherwise I would suggest a park. Try clubhouses of other apartments/condos. They all have different rental fees and policies, so you may be able to rent even though you don't live there. Restaurants sometimes even have private rooms available so it seems more intimate and don't have to worry about other onlookers. Also, try searching for banquet halls, womens' and garden clubs, and hotels. Some may have small rooms available to rent at a lower cost.
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  • rhubarb123rhubarb123 member
    We have a lot of showers at home or sometimes they rent another facility (not restaurant).  Sometimes it is a church hall, VFW hall, Senior Center, community room, etc.  We rarely have them at restaurants because of the cost and logistics (knowing exactly how many are attending even with sending RSVPs).
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  • TeamK07TeamK07 member

    What about having a couple of smaller showers?  One for your side, one for DHs side.

    I didn't want a big restaurant type shower either (not my style). My mom and sister had a Jack and Jill shower for me at my parent's house. It was more like a dinner/cocktail party. I kept the guest list VERY small.  Do any of your relatives have a condo/house that could fit a small group - 30ish? Then you could just do apps and dessert.

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  • four+leighffour+leighf
    Not sure about the venue, but I've already talked with the people throwing my shower (because I, too, do not want a typical shower) and they are throwing me an open house shower - which, rather than having people all come at the same time and opening the gifts all at once, you allow guests to come whenever they want during a set period of hours, and you just open their gift as each person arrives.  Then you can set the gifts out on a table with a name card in front of each one so everyone can see who gifted what.  This might help with the small home issue, if not every guest is there at once.
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  • LithiginLithigin
    Why don't you pick your date, plan to book your parents' condo venue, then also reserve another location that doesn't require a deposit as a backup? I've hosted a few showers, and frankly, never done any of the work until 2 or 3 weeks out anyway. Mostly 3 days out. :) In NYC, it's probably harder to find a place, but if you'd cancel on your backup place  a full month out, you might get lucky!
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