S/O - Daily DH Communication

Smuches4u · October 2010

For those that message/talk/text frequently with your DH's throughout the day, what do you talk about once you're together? Is one of you at home with the DC, and providing updates on just that?

I'm just trying to better understand this. Like I said, DH & I have never been frequent daily updaters, so this phenomenan is foreign to me. Many couples that we hung out with when we were dating did this, and the constant communication and inquiries about what the other was doing seemed to deteriorate the relationship - as if there wasn't security, or trust built, and eventually one of them always ended up feeling smothered.

I like it that DH and I get some face to face time to talk about our day over dinner, and after DC goes to bed. I think it keeps us connected. If we communicated regularly throughout the day, I wouldn't have much to share and likely would retreat to the computer to pass the time.

AvaLikeLava · October 2010

when we message it's not "hey guess what i just did?" communication. It's typically "hey, can you call daycare and do x?" or "can you pick up Y on your way home?"

Mostly tasks we need to discuss during the day. The major updates happen after work. It's not intentional, really, just how it's worked out.

I don't think our communication has suffered in any way since we talk during the day.

ladipale · October 2010

for us, on days when we are both days (most days) its just "hey, i'm at work now" and short complaints about situations, or asking how the day is going, if he's going to the gym after work, etc. the majority of our updates on big stuff happens once we are both home.

sometimes we are both having unproductive days and its more chatty, sending each other links, etc.

Smuches4u · October 2010

So you're not just in touch to say, "Whacha doin?" or "Whacha doin now?" You're setting reminders for each other, planning out the evening, managing child pick ups, etc. That makes total sense to me, but we still don't communicate during work hours on a daily basis. To each their own and if it works for you, then rock on Nesties. Rock on!

(BTW, I refuse to call myself a Bump-ie/-er/-ette. I'm a Nestie, end of story!)

futrkingsley · October 2010

Before DS, it was just chatty stuff -- what to make for dinner, who was stopping on the way home, did you see that stupid email we got from xyz, etc. We planned our home purchase by email and IM, and our TTC efforts, and our vacations.

We certainly chatted about those things at home too and ate dinner together 99% of the time, chatting about other stuff too.

Now that we have DS, we have lots of info to share about our day but little time to do it that doesn't interfere with caring for him. I have a long commute, DH isn't at his desk, and our current life has lots of adult stress I don't want to share with DS. So man, I wish we could hash it out when we aren't exhausted and half asleep. There are days where DH and I never have an in person real adult conversation. It makes me sad but it is what it is and it is temporary, which we both make sure to acknowledge on an ongoing basis.

RevJG · October 2010

We don't communicate much during the day. He takes DD to the babysitter's house so I get an email with a report that she got there safely and whatever funny thing she did on the way there. I will send him pictures and videos throughout the day that the babysitter sends to my phone of DD, but otherwise we only communicate (99% of the time by email) if someone is going to be late, needs to stop at the store, etc.

Go Dux · October 2010

My DH and I work different schedules (me: 8-5 him: 2pm-1030pm), so we just call to chat with each other.

NCSW · October 2010

We usually talk back and forth during the day. A lot of the time, I'm keeping him in the loop about the kiddo.

It works well for us because he still has a way to be connected to her while he's gone and then when we're together, we don't get stuck in the rut of only talking about her since he's already in the know for the most part.

abvernon · October 2010

mostly it is about tasks or venting. Like, I am going to Target after work. Do you need anything. Or, do not forget to pick the dry cleaning on the way home.

We usually save the "stories" of our day for when we are at home. Most of the time, we get home, cook dinner, watch some tv and then go to bed.

Oh and DH & I have "gold star" emails. We forward various work emails that we get. Most of the time they are off the wall requests or requests that make you want to smack your head against the wall. To us, it is like therapy and we can laugh about it when we get home.

Mrs.BoomBoom · October 2010

For us, it's always been part of our relationship and when it doesn't happen I feel like we're losing touch. We share and discuss articles, check in about our days, It's sort of like working just down the hall from each other.

hersheykiss · October 2010

For us, it is updating our schedules, plans for the weekends, pre-purchase "oks", etc.

melgrady · October 2010

We usually call to ask each other a question about something that cannot wait until after work. Since DH has been working such long hours, sometimes it is easier to ask him something during the day instead of at night time when he is tired and grouchy.

Mrs.K&C · October 2010

I am not someone who likes to talk on the phone just for the sake of talking, whether it's with DH or anyone else (actually, I really don't care for the phone in general). We talk on the phone once a day during work, typically. Just checking in quickly. Otherwise if I need to contact him regarding something like picking something up after work, I'll email him.

EmmieB · October 2010

Mrs.BoomBoom:
For us, it's always been part of our relationship and when it doesn't happen I feel like we're losing touch. We share and discuss articles, check in about our days, It's sort of like working just down the hall from each other.

us, too!

AnyaBella · October 2010

Mrs.BoomBoom:
For us, it's always been part of our relationship and when it doesn't happen I feel like we're losing touch. We share and discuss articles, check in about our days, It's sort of like working just down the hall from each other.

Pretty much this. We've always done it so when it doesn't happen it feels a little off. We never are at a loss for stuff to talk about. When he comes home we either pick up where we left off or find new stuff to chat about. Also we tend to leave our bigger discussion for the evening. Day time is more just chatting, interesting articles we find or youtube videos or stuff about G. It makes us both feel connected.

Want a personalized experience?

S/O - Daily DH Communication

Re: S/O - Daily DH Communication

Choose Another Board

Search Boards