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2nd baby Baby Shower

STEPH&PETESTEPH&PETE
in Baby Showers
Ok so my mom wants to throw me a baby shower just to have a party and get the family together kinda thing. We are spanish and we have a baby shower for every kid. Now, my MIL is not haapy with the idea  ( she is white) and says there are only one baby shower and that I had mine already. So I tried to explain to her that it's our culture in Chile to celebrate every baby. So now would I be wrong if I dont invite her and his side of the family. I dont want to offend anyone. Husband suggested to name the party " baby celebration" or something other than Baby Shower and note on the invitation * no gifts required? What do you think?
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Re: 2nd baby Baby Shower

  • MrsT0522MrsT0522 member

    Invite them to the party, and maybe include a little card with the information on the tradition, special customs, and what to expect at the party. That way they know you're not gift grabby, and learn a little more about your culture.

    If you don't invite them, that's just opening a whole other can of worms IMO.

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  • pam1005pam1005 member
    Can you just throw it for your side of the family and invite MIL, but tell her again the importance of it.  If you write no gifts on the invite, then some people will probably still feel the need to bring one.  Some people also call small gatherings celebrating a second child a "sprinkle."  In my social circle usually do brunches and early afternoon lunches for those and have minimal decorations and no games.  Also, calling it a baby celebration still sort of says "shower."  Or, what if you guys just had your mom throw more of an informal BBQ or get together like that without all of the shower stuff.  I think that would be the only way to get everyone together (that is not familiar with your culture) and not lead them to think it is another full blown shower.
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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    Well, if you don't want gifts, then don't call it a shower! 

    Beyond that- talk to your DH and see what he thinks.  Maybe this is something to just do w/ your family.  It doesn't have to be an "invite all" thing.  Even if you invite your MIL, you don't have to invite his entire extended family.

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  • Swoop1Swoop1 member
    I don't think it's only a spanish tradition to celebrate every baby with baby shower, gifts and all. My side of the family thinks it's normal to have a shower for each baby. My MIL thinks it's gift-grabby. It all depends on how you were raised, and what the norm is in your circle. I would invite them, if they don't want to come they won't come. If they don't want to get you a gift hey won't get you a gift. 
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  • RochellRochell
    imageMrsT0522:

    Invite them to the party, and maybe include a little card with the information on the tradition, special customs, and what to expect at the party. That way they know you're not gift grabby, and learn a little more about your culture.

    If you don't invite them, that's just opening a whole other can of worms IMO.

    Agreed!

    But if no gift is expected then don't call it a shower but instead a "baby celebration"

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  • LesleyH11LesleyH11 member

    Coming from a Hispanic family, we also celebrate every baby! My husband is also white so I can relate a little bit.

    I would send the invites because she would probably be upset if she didn't receive one.  I'm not sure what my MIL thinks about 2nd baby showers (I've never really asked) but if she does care...well I wouldn't care, my family and I will continue to have a regular baby shower with gifts and everything.  We are celebrating a new life and a new soul into this world, NOT me.  

    GL :) 

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  • RoxyLynnRoxyLynn member
    imageMrsT0522:

    Invite them to the party, and maybe include a little card with the information on the tradition, special customs, and what to expect at the party. That way they know you're not gift grabby, and learn a little more about your culture.

    I think this is a terrific idea.  If I knew it was a cultural tradition, I'd be happy to attend if possible.  Otherwise, were I to receive an invitation for a 2nd shower (never have, they're unheard of here) I'd definitely raise an eyebrow and assume it was a gift-grab.
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  • tashaobrientashaobrien
    I would still invite them and leave it up to them if they'd like to come or not. It's not like you're asking them to chip in, right? I would just note that gifts are not required and leave it at that. I wouldn't give any further explaination about tradition, etc.
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  • jkuck922jkuck922

    If it's yours and your family's culture to celebrate every baby, then it is completely appropriate. I agree with putting a little background info in the invitation and invite the MIL. She can always "unavailable" that day. If you don't invite her, it can create a wall between you.

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  • RachieTKRachieTK member
    Can you talk to MIL about it? Tell her that you don't want to offend her family by asking them to a second shower, but they are your family too, and don't want them to feel left out.  Let it be her call, either she'll come, she and some family will come, or none will - but you don't have to decide for them.
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  • rhubarb123rhubarb123 member
    I agree with MrsT0522 and would call it something other than a shower.  I would love getting info regarding traditions other cultures have and wouldn't bat an eye.  I do however have a problem with second showers that are given to "celebrate the baby" that aren't even born yet.  I rarely go to those...but I would go to a party/celebration it it was a cultural thing. 
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  • pnkstephpnksteph

    imageSTEPH&PETE:
    Ok so my mom wants to throw me a baby shower just to have a party and get the family together kinda thing. We are spanish and we have a baby shower for every kid. Now, my MIL is not haapy with the idea  ( she is white) and says there are only one baby shower and that I had mine already. So I tried to explain to her that it's our culture in Chile to celebrate every baby. So now would I be wrong if I dont invite her and his side of the family. I dont want to offend anyone. Husband suggested to name the party " baby celebration" or something other than Baby Shower and note on the invitation * no gifts required? What do you think?

    So not related to your post, but I just had to comment that my name is Stephanie and I am married to a Pete and my family is from Chile as well!

     

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