Date night question

newmommy74 · September 2010

How often do you go on them & how important do you think they are? I ask because I notice on here & on FB a few girls that regularly go on them. The last time DH and I had one was back in March!!!! We never seem to worry about them becasue 1. we are always doing something with family/friends every weekend, and 2. We still go on nice dinner/lunches out but Coop just comes with us!

Seattle_JiLLn · September 2010

We almost never do either. Cooper is not good with sitters and so far will only let me put him to bed. It sucks. I wish we would have them sometimes, but as for being "important" for us, I think we're fine. We aren't going to break up or anything. But we could use some occasional alone time.

Alli923 · September 2010

We go about twice a month. Sometimes it is daytime date on the weekend, sometimes we just run out for a quick bite to eat. But, we make it happen regularly.

From the time Lucy was very little, we let others put her to bed, put her down for naps etc. So, now she does pretty well with both Grandmas and her auntie watching her.

Nancy_Drew · September 2010

we never go on them either. We did have 1 night out in August but it was a work function for DH. We did stay overnight away from the kids, but if it wasnt a work thing, we wouldn't have scheduled it. No idea why, we just don't.

Now, a friend of a friend just booked a vacation for her and her DH. The 1st one together in 2 years. (she has gone on girls weekends etc... but not as a couple) You will never guess where she booked their romantic vacation for some alone time...

DISNEYLAND.

Yeah, Disneyland. That is SO not the place to go for some alone time with your DH. My DH and I were talking about this and thought we would feel so guility and just think oh man, the kids would love this etc... She has 3.5 year old twins too. WTH?

Seattle_JiLLn · September 2010

Alli923:

We go about twice a month. Sometimes it is daytime date on the weekend, sometimes we just run out for a quick bite to eat. But, we make it happen regularly.

From the time Lucy was very little, we let others put her to bed, put her down for naps etc. So, now she does pretty well with both Grandmas and her auntie watching her.

If our moms lived in our same time zone, I so would have done this... but I just couldn't do a "stranger" sitter for a little baby. I'm too paranoid/nervous/whatever... argh. And now we're in one year old separation anxiety hell, so I'm screwed.

We did find a sitter that I trusted for both kids, but she was expensive and decided she wanted a four hour minimum at some point, so adding $60 for a sitter for date night seemed cost prohibitive. Plus, finding something to do for four hours. yikes. I just wanted to go out, grab some dinner, come home - 2 hours max. So that squashed our good efforts early on.

cmcmillan · September 2010

We usually try for about once a month, some are without both kids some are with W when M has sleepovers at my parents. My Mom has always asked when she can babysit from the time M was acouple months old, and now I love it!! I also get a night out with girlfriends atleast once a month, just to get out without kiddos is great after long days with them.

MrsKatie · September 2010

We have never done this, but I can see us doing this after the baby is born. We are in a situation where our family would seriously take offense if we never asked them babysit. We are very fortunate to have a lot of help locally. We will probably start doing this pretty early after LO is born.

My girlfriends and I always had a saying in college that date night was for people who didn't have sex. Being married and seeing how busy life is now and how much crazier it is going to get once LO is born, I totally disagree with this. We have plenty of sex and could still use a date night.

Alli923 · September 2010

Seattle_JiLLn:
Alli923:

We go about twice a month. Sometimes it is daytime date on the weekend, sometimes we just run out for a quick bite to eat. But, we make it happen regularly.

From the time Lucy was very little, we let others put her to bed, put her down for naps etc. So, now she does pretty well with both Grandmas and her auntie watching her.

If our moms lived in our same time zone, I so would have done this... but I just couldn't do a "stranger" sitter for a little baby. I'm too paranoid/nervous/whatever... argh. And now we're in one year old separation anxiety hell, so I'm screwed.

We did find a sitter that I trusted for both kids, but she was expensive and decided she wanted a four hour minimum at some point, so adding $60 for a sitter for date night seemed cost prohibitive. Plus, finding something to do for four hours. yikes. I just wanted to go out, grab some dinner, come home - 2 hours max. So that squashed our good efforts early on.

Yeah, if it wasn't for family, my answer would probably be never! And 4 hours is a long time to be gone...our dates are usually 2 max, unless we've got tickets to a show or something.

ckmommy · September 2010

Our last date alone was April 26th, our anniversary. I said I wanted to do dates at least once a month and thought it was important but our schedules just don't allow for it and Carter does not do well with sitters despite our efforts. I wish we did more date nights or if I even got a girls night out, but my friends don't schedule the more than a day ahead of time and that doesn't work for me.

spacystasi · September 2010

We usually just take Court with us on our "dates"

Our family lives in Oregon, so unless we get a friend to watch him we don't have many options. And then I always feel bad to ask a friend.

massagegirly · September 2010

I think it is important! Especially as your children get older. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in sports, church, friends, family and forget about us as a married couple. I want to always be madly in love with my husband not just love him. Going on dates reminds me that he can be romantic, hott, sexy etc. Going out to dinner as a family is great but those things do not come out as much!

newmommy74 · September 2010

Good to know that I am not the only one not going on them regularly! We have our wedding anniversary coming up next month so at least I have one in sight

~Lynchie~ · September 2010

We dont go on them regularly either, but the 2 nights off I have a week could very well be considered "date nights" even though we stay home and dont do anything except drink (sometimes) and play a board game

iHeartHimMore · September 2010

My mom comes back into town every 6 weeks or so and stay for a couple weeks, so we go out a couple times while we have her to babysit. We have also very occasionally left Lila with a good friend of ours. But we've never used a sitter that we don't know. I should just get over it, i know, but I still don't think im ready for that. Anyhoo - i guess that means we go out alone about twice every three months. We do go out to dinner a lot with lila in tow, however. Not that i consider that a date by any means.

greenmtbride · September 2010

We have one sitter that we trust (she used to work at our daycare) but mostly just trade babysitting with a mom from my birth class. She comes to our house after we've put Liam down so all she does is watch tv while he sleeps and vice versa. it's a great set up.

Seattle_JiLLn · September 2010

greenmtbride:
We have one sitter that we trust (she used to work at our daycare) but mostly just trade babysitting with a mom from my birth class. She comes to our house after we've put Liam down so all she does is watch tv while he sleeps and vice versa. it's a great set up.

See this would be awesome! If my kids went to bed early, I would totally do that. But they don't go to bed until 8:30 or 9.

mwhite5283 · September 2010

We go out at least 1-2 times per month. I got advice prior to having her to schedule a date night now within 4 weeks after birth so i had no excuse not to get out of the house. We have been fortunate to have good babysitters (3 of them are daughters of friends and colleagues) and they all love G. 2 of them came over to help as mother's helpers my first 6 weeks home so I was there to supervise and see how they did. We just had our first encounter with the 3rd last week and she's an outstanding young woman and I'm thrilled that I can use her during her last year of high school. To me it's worth it - we get time out, G gets time without us to socialize and become comfortable knowing Mommy/Daddy need date nights. We go to wine events, dinner, a movie or even just shopping to have 'us' time and it works well. It's pricey but so is our married life and it's worth it. My MIL will once in a while watch her but we are more likely to use her when I travel to help out and I don't want to overburden them.

Date night question

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