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3rd Trimester
fiasco
member
where should I direct my anger? (MIL or DH)
fiasco
member
MIL & DH's stepdad are coming to visit and stay with us in two weeks, which is 3ish weeks before I am due. The only reason I agreed to that date is because we bought our house a year ago and they've never visited, and she made it sound like it was Oct or not till springtime.
So when my LO "called" her this evening on speakerphone, she mentions that her dog is coming. I flinch cuz her dog is terribly behaved although she's in total denial about that, we have a small house, we have two cats, a toddler and I am like 9 months pregnant. But I don't question her, I wait for DH to come home. If figured I'd let him handle it.
20 minutes later I am still stunned, he comes in, I find out he knew about this horrible idea, and thought he asked me about it when he asked me about the date. um, absolutely not. So knowing that he will do nothing about it, I call her myself. Her response is basically well, he already said it's ok, you'll have to discuss it with him. By the way, click. The biotch hung up on me!
Of course I am pissed he forgot to ask me and he couldn't figure out for himslef that it is not a good idea, but I am more mad that she had the nerve to ask in the first place, and the way she reacted when she found out I didn't ok it was just insane! If I were looking to impose on someone like that I think I would be a little more humble!
She has since left us a voicemail offering to stay in a dog-friendly hotel but not apologizing for her behavior/hanging up on me. I don't want her anywhere near me at this point.
We have been married 3 yrs and I have managed to avoid conflicts with this woman. I knew the potential was there though from talking to SIL. What are your reactions to this nonsense?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: where should I direct my anger? (MIL or DH)
I'd be pissed at DH! He should have mentioned that to you before giving the green light! She shouldn't have hung up though, it is your house too! What is she, 12? He's going to have to clear it up, not you!
Now I'm worrying MIL will bring her annoying a$$ dog when she comes to stay, DH had better ask her tomorrow!
1. They were both incredibly rude and thoughtless, so, both.
2. Take her up on her offer to stay at a hotel.
You should take her up on her offer to stay at a doggy friendly hotel. I can't believe they would even think to stay at your house with that timing. You are getting ready to pop and you are supposed to play hostess to the in-laws and their dog? Um, no!
And if your DH is anything like mine then he won't help with any of the chores that come with hosting guests. Mine is always inviting people to stay with us and not offering to make the guest beds or do the extra cooking and cleaning. Yeah, cooking and cleaning for 4 extra people is exactly what I want to be doing in my third tri ...
I am angry for you LOL
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direct anger at H and he can deal w. MIL since she was so nice to hang up on you when you were trying to discuss it with her. even if he forgot to ask you, she should be accommodating to you since, and I know this is a stereotype, but it's been known to happen from husbands to forget to talk about this kind of stuff with their wives when they are supposed to. : )
I am also a cat household (w. 3) and I'd NEVER displace them by allowing a dog to come and live with us for 2 weeks, especially if the dog isn't very well behaved.
a dog-friendly hotel sounds like a PERFECT option . . . they can still visit, have dinner, etc. etc. but you don't have to put them up with everything else going on right now.
Life with Blog
My MIL brings her dog down, which I despise and she knows it. We have to ask her NOT to or else she will bring it to our house.
It stinks, fights with my dogs, peed and pooed on the floor in my DS's room, AND has infected out old house with fleas. TWICE.
She also never apologized for infecting us with fleas. Even after we informed her it cost us over $200 to take care of the situation.
Have them stay at a hotel or board the dog. That is what we do now when we go to visit them. Which isn't very often, I hate going there.
The audacity!
I agree with PPs - your DH should have ran it by you and made SURE it was alright before saying anything to her. But I cannot believe she hung up on you and treated you like that. No wonder in-laws get such a bad name.
My MIL is nuts sometimes and not that I have to, but I remind DH from time to time (when she gets really annoying) that I am the one who will always be here for him and I am the one he lives with and whom he married. I am the one who will be here after she is gone. She just needs to put on her BGPs and deal!
I
dogs, but would not allow someone else's animals in my home, especially under those circumstances. Good luck!
Exactly! I'd be mad at both, your H for not saying anything and MIL for acting immature about it.
I would be annoyed with DH, but it sounds like a typical man move, especially when it comes to men relaying info back and forth from their mothers and SigO's.
However, I would be pissed at the MIL!! Make that Crazy stay at a hotel! I can't believe she said "well he already said it was ok, so...". What a nutjob!! Tell DH that this kind of crap will not fly with you, especially after baby comes. And then interogate him everytime he has a convo with his mom regarding visits. Maybe next time he will give you all the info.
Your MIL is rude and disrespectful.
We teach people how to treat us. Shying away from conflict will reinforce her behavior and she will get progressively worse. I think you need to address this issue head on. I do not believe you need to be rude or angry because your home is your domain and therefore you are in control. Do not give up a single moment of happiness for a crazy woman.
I would firmly make it very clear to DH and MIL that her actions were completely unacceptable. She should stay at a hotel with her pet and she is not welcome into your home until she apologizes.