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Two under two?
Any full time working moms with 2u2? We're debating/trying to decide if we want to go this route right now. I would love for my kids to be close in age, but I'm not sure we can handle the challenge of having two so young and both working full time. Any insight? Advice? What did you do, regrets??
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Re: Two under two?
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
Well I had twins (obviously 2 under 2) then #3 when the twins were 26 months old. It absolutely can be done. It just takes more organization, planning ahead and patience (!) though.
I will say that by the time #3 was a few months old I was looking for a more flexible work arrangement. Now that I have that life is good!
My twins are 5! My baby is 3!
DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi
DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame
It can certainly be done! My kids are 16.5 months apart. The beginning was tough, but now we are in a routine and things are going great. But I will say that I have a very flexible work schedule and that really helps. I work from home 2 days a week (though a lot of weeks I do end up having to go in the office on my work from home days), but my boss is also flexible with my hours as well. I have a long commute (and hour and 15 minutes each way), so my boss is accomodating to that. As long as the work gets done, he doesnt really care what hours they are done. I can work 7-3 one day and 9:30-5:30 the next. That helps out with doctor appointments and things. And when the kids are sick I am able to work from home.
I dont regret having my kids so close together at all. In fact, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Good luck with your decision.
I will be 2 under 2 in just over a month here. DD will be about 17months old when her little brother is born. It wasn't something we planned, we just got pregnant on our own after DD was born with help from IVF. I am definitely a little nervous and we both know that it is going to be a LOT of work here in the next year, it definitely won't be easy but I think once we get into a new routine, things will start to seem a little easier.
What a surprise after going through IVF with the first!! Congratulations!
I have 2u2, and it didn't work for us. I ended up quitting and finding a PT job. DH and I are/were both residents though. He works about 70-80 hours a week, and his schedule is pretty inflexible. I was working about 50 plus call and bringing stuff home to do after the kids went to bed. I felt like I wasn't getting to spend much time with either child, and spent most of my time with them tired and in survival mode. Even with an aupair and a cleaning service, it took everything I had to make sure that everyone was fed, had clean clothes the right size and in good condition, and the house was clean enough that the baby wasn't going to choke on old food laying on the floor. It took a toll on all of my relationships from my husband to my mom to my friends.
On the other hand, I really do love having my kids this close together. I think it's great for them to have a sibling so close in age.
I don't know if being a working mom just wasn't for me and it had nothing to do with the second baby. I don't know if we could have made it if we were both working 40 hour weeks. Not sure. It seems to work out for a lot of people, but not us
Both DH and I work FT, and I have the option to work from home 2x a week. DS was 16.5 months when DD was born. DS had some jealousy issues when we would hold/feed DD, but that got better in time. Keeping DS in daycare for most of my ML seemed to work for him as it kept him in his routine, and allowed me to bond with DD.
Organization and teamwork--We try to prep as much as possible ahead of time (meal planning, bottles, clothes) to limit the chaos of the workday A.M./P.M. DH is as involved as I am with the kids and the house. IMO, without this teamwork the stress level in the house would be 10x what it is and we would be miserable.
What I found to be most difficult was doing things outside alone with DS, with DD still being so little. Chasing a toddler or sitting in a sandbox is difficult with a 7 month old
Any regrets having them so close in age? I can't say I have any yet. It took us a while to get pregnant with #1, so imagine our surprise/delight the second time around!
Good luck with your decision!
i had 3 under 3... and now have 2 under 2 + a 3.5 y/o
i work PT now - which is great, but in many ways MORE stressful than when i was full time.
a true "2 under 2" that are not twins is not easy... I personally wanted Griffin to be 2y/o or more before we had more kids- and it worked out that way... he was 2y2mo when the twins were born -which to me was perfect b/c he was able to do some things on his own, talk to us more, and understand more....
children from 12-18mo are HARD IMO... it was the hardest time for having just Griffin- and is the hardest time with the twins now.... I would NOT want to have an infant with a child that age... but that's me.
I work full time and have 2u2. It is ok...lots of work...NO down time...but PP's are right...it would be hard having two no matter what the age is.
I have a great DH that helps a lot and some flexibility in my hours, so that's good.
Honestly (and maybe this will change, DD is just 9 months*), I don't see the appeal of two under two. We'd make it work if it happened that way, but I'm curious as to why you'd plan it that way with working full-time. It just seems like a ton of work to me.
I'm not being critical, just curious to see what benefits I may be missing.
*And currently waking up every two hours at night.
Just to have them close in age, really. DS has slept amazingly since about 6 months. He's woken up at night only twice since then. He sleeps pretty consistently from 7pm to 6am every single night. I think to have ALL the baby stuff still out, not packed away to dig out again in 5 yrs, would be nice. To have to do diapers continuously, rather than stopping for a couple of years, and starting back up would be nice. To be able to plan family vacations where the kids would have similar interests would also be great. Those are my reasons, but my one year old, I admit, isn't a tough baby at this point.
EDIT - I mean he has woken at night on 2 separate occasions since then, not twice every night!
I totally agree with this. My kids are 16 months apart. It was very hard in the beginning but now that they are older things are much easier. All I can say is you need to establish a schedule because that helps a lot.
Ours are 23 months apart and it is awesome
It helps that #1 is really independent and has a very nurturing nature. She is actually a great helper and has been since before DS was born. There are some moments that test my patience, but I think that would be the case regardless of their ages. I wanted them close in age, knowing that the first 2 years would probably be tough, but they would have a lifetime ahead of them where they could more easily relate to each other.
We are also planning to have more children and I'd like to do that somewhat quickly so that we will still be young parents/grandparents. We are planning on a bit of a gap since I can't imagine adding a third right now. In my ideal world, we'd have twins in a few years and call it a night
Working FT with 2 kids is tough, regardless of their ages. DH and I were also both going to school FT until just before #2 was born, and both plan to go back later this year for grad school. Yep... we are a bit crazy. But we also have a housecleaner and enough disposable income that we can add some convenience to our lives in other areas. I also went back to work when #2 was 10 weeks old so that I could use the rest of my leave intermittently. We were able to work our schedules so that we each have every other Friday off. This makes a big difference in what we can get done on the long week-ends, as well as still having time to enjoy our kids. If I didn't have that flexibility in my schedule, something else would have to give.
Thank you!
DH and I will have 2u2 in Feb. 2011. DS will be 18.5 months when DD is born. We had originally planned on about 2-2.5 yrs apart, but happened to get PG sooner. We were happy because it had taken a while to get PG with DS. We are also happy that the kids will be close together in age as we only plan on having 2 kids.
It's hard to be PG now with a busy 14 month old and working FT (DH works FT too). I just do the necessities around the house and everything else can wait. We plan to take DS to daycare when I'm on maternity leave so that he can keep his routine and I can take care of DD and rest. I am hoping to work 4 days a week after maternity leave so that I have one day a week to do stuff around the house, run errands, go to appointments, and spend a little extra time with the kids.
While I anticipate the first 6 months after DD is born being challenging, I don't have any regrets at this point.