2nd Timers: Fear of the known or unknown?

Rilly1212 · September 2010

Which is/was worse for you... the fear of the unknown on the first time around or fear of knowing what to expect?

I feel like I am more nervous this time around. Could be the hormones or maybe the thought of what it is going to be like having more than one child is making me nervous. Starting over from the beginning? sleepless nights, weight issues, nursing etc. all with a toddler running around. Yikes!

RJHarmon · September 2010

The first time was way worse with nerves. Last time I didn't even know if I could carry a baby (I m/c my first) I feel like I am on a better side of things this time around. I am still very nervous and worried, but much more relaxed about the actual pregnancy related feelings.

Gina418 · September 2010

Totally the fear of the known freaks me out - the NT scan (where we had an issue with ds), the anatomy scan, the signs of labor, etc. All freak me out. Plus, the post partum bleeding and waking every 3 hours to feed - yeah, that too!

The only unknown that scares me is how ds will react once the baby is here.

m0132 · September 2010

I was more scared the first time around, as far as the pregnancy goes..I am more scared about the aftermath now though, how to divide my attention, breastfeeding with a toddler who still wants me all the time, getting out of the house within a reasonable time frame. With this pregnancy though I am not freaking out about every little cramp or feeling, and I am not scared at all about labor and delivery this time but I was with DD.

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2010

I was way more nervous the first time around. I worried about labor, whether I'd like being a parent, etc. This time, I know how wonderful the whole experience is. I'm nervous of course about dealing with 2 kids, but I know I'll survive.

LesleyNicholas03 · September 2010

I am more nervous this time because I am looking at a possible miscarriage or ectopic and I didn't have those problems with DD #1 but I am also nervous about starting over with a toddler running around. It's already hard being this freaking exhausted and trying to work full time and keep up with her. Anyway just know your not alone.

Luckiest13 · September 2010

I'm more worried now. My first pregnancy was so difficult for me. Not because of major health issues, but just because of severe symptoms. So now I know what's coming and I'm so so scared. So far the first trimester has been the same as my last pregnancy - terrible nausea, migraines, etc. And yes, i'm also really scared about those first few months. Not sure how I'll survive it all. But if I did it once, I guess I can do it again...

HoonFan · September 2010

I had more fear the first time around. I do agree though, it is scary to think about having a newborn with a 2 year old running around as well. The way I try to approach things like this though is to look at all the people before me who have done it and it makes me realize that if they can do it, I most certainly can as well!

Amber68W · September 2010

I had more fear the first time around. It does scare me to think that I will have a newborn and an 18 month old though!

suscq · September 2010

I'm a nervous wreck right now (high risk for m/c due to scarring) but once I get through the next few weeks and see a heartbeat on an u/s, I'll relax a lot.

I am worried about having as much pain in 3rd tri as I did last time and having toddler to chase after. Last time I couldn't walk across the house without doubling over in pain and I would hate for DD to have to go months with a mommy who can't do anything.

After DD was born, I was anemic and exhausted all the time, plus she had a milk intolerance that took a few months to diagnose (lots of screaming and lots of sleepless night.) I'll be aware of all of these things this time and be able to treat them faster, instead of wondering why I was too exhausted to move and why was DD in pain all the time.

Tipsy15 · September 2010

The first time around I was way more worried about the little pains and twitches. I worried about labor and delivery and would I know what to do once everyone left after she was born. I am not worried about those thing this time, but I am wondering how I am going to run around after a 3 year old and have a newborn.

mollymurphy · September 2010

Oddly, it's a little bit of both. On one hand, I'm much more nervous this time b/c I know more than I did the first time around, particularly about m/c.

On the other hand, I'm comforted by the fact this time around that, at least at this point, there's not really much I can do, that it's out of my hands and I need to just sit back, try not to worry and carry on.

AMYRENEE27 · September 2010

The known. I also had the pregnancy rash, Puppps my during my 3rd tri. It was by far the worst part of my pregnancy. I don't know what I would do if I got it again especially being bigger this time!

luvdv8 · September 2010

I think the first time around i was blissfully ignorant- I was like "ok, 13 weeks, home free!". And even when I went into labor before 35 weeks I didn't clue into what that meant- I didn't even really grasp it when they started to bring in the neo-natal equipment during labor. Since DD was born I've known two people who carried to full term and had stillborns. I also know a couple who lost their child to pre-term complications and she was gestationally older than DD.

I feel like this time I'm having a harder time getting attached to this baby because I know anything can happen at any time. It makes me so much more grateful to have had a H&H DD but it means that this pregnancy I'm a bit of a realist bummer on the whole excitement. Definitely more scared of the known!

Mumma2B · September 2010

I had a really rough delivery with DS and the recovery was really hard. it took almost a month to feel halfway to normal. I am way more terrified of giving birth this time around because of that. I don't think I could do a recovery like that with the sleepless nights and also have a toddler to take care of.

AMYRENEE27 · September 2010

After I read what I wrote I take it back!! The unknown, I have been so paranoid this pregnancy since I had a mc in july. I am constantly thinking about things going wrong!

luvdv8 · September 2010

AMYRENEE27:
The known. I also had the pregnancy rash, Puppps my during my 3rd tri. It was by far the worst part of my pregnancy. I don't know what I would do if I got it again especially being bigger this time!

Ugh- and THIS! PUPPPS is the worst. I'm hoping that the statistics about 2nd time pregnancies holds true!

Bella427 · September 2010

I'm much more relaxed about the pregnancy this time around but very freaked out knowing how hard a newborn is, added to a toddler!

me&mymonkey · September 2010

luvdv8:

I think the first time around i was blissfully ignorant- I was like "ok, 13 weeks, home free!".

I feel like this time I'm having a harder time getting attached to this baby because I know anything can happen at any time. It makes me so much more grateful to have had a H&H DD but it means that this pregnancy I'm a bit of a realist bummer on the whole excitement. Definitely more scared of the known!

I can relate to these feelings. I was so incredibly naive when I was pg with ds. Since then I've had a m/c and had a family member with a late loss. Not to mention how miserable I was at the end of 3rd tri, the swelling, the c/s recovery, ahhhh! Fear of the known is much worse to me.

el25 · September 2010

The first time around I was panicked about every. I would worry when I felt a twinge, and I would worry when I didn't feel anything. This time around, I have a much different attitude. I feel like I can get through anything because I already have such an amazing child at home. Of course I worry about the things that I know may happen, but I just feel like I am in a better place to handle them.

Lisa102304 · September 2010

Rilly1212:
Starting over from the beginning? sleepless nights, weight issues, nursing etc.

UGH, I am so afraid of this - all over again. I remember the extreme sleep deprivation, it is purehell. I have NEVER known sleep deprivation like the newborn weeks/months. It seriously makes you batty.

MaybeBaby2 · September 2010

I was much more stressed out with DD than I am now. I know now that no amount of worrying and stress will change anything. Of course I feel nervous though!
I'm not too nervous for life after #2 as at least I have a clue as to what I'm doing this time around. And DD and her new sibling will be a little over 4 years apart, so that definitely works in our favor.

kec429 · September 2010

This pregnancy I'm more relaxed, but I do feel more scared about life after baby #2 arrives. Doing it all again with a toddler is a bit overwhelming to think about, but it's nice to know I'm not alone.

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