- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
2nd Trimester
I'm officially one of those bitter pregnant women who
has gained too much weight and got "yelled" at by the nurse prac. today. I'm not gonna lie I kinda wanted to kick her in the shins.
I hate being pregnant. First I couldn't keep anything down so I lost weight then once I slowed down on throwing up the pounds just started packing one.
Pity party for one.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm officially one of those bitter pregnant women who
I would never see a nurse prac or a midwife.
They play doctor a little too much for me.
How much have you actually gained??
dude, screw your doc!!!
How much have you gained??
you were puking your brains out for months!!
Eff them! I'm so glad you can eat at least.
geesh.
I'm sure you look wonderful too!
I *hate* seeing this nurse and end up leaving mad every single time but my doctor is only in that office location (closet to my house) every monday and every other Friday. So I had to see her today. AND it's required to see her for my GD test because she goes over hospital policy, gives a goodie bags, etc. So lucky me I get to hear the lecture all over again in 4 weeks.
I don't even want to type out how much I've gained it'll just make me cry, lol.
I feel your pain. The first time my doctor mentioned my weight my heart sunk into my toes.
Of course then I went home to cry to my husband and bless HIM. He really tried not to let me see him laugh. LOL He thought it was ridiculous.
I am sure you look perfectly fine. Just focus on your baby being healthy !! That is the most important thing.
I am glad you can finally eat !!!!
Hey another MN girl! I am a MN girl at heart still!
Don't let her break your spirit, some people just don't have any tact.
It can't be THAT bad. We can put a Flame-free disclaimer on it.
But I'm curious what would make this woman biitch you out like that. I hate nurse practitioners. I'm a nurse and I refuse to ever see one.
20 lbs. And that's just since about week 15 or 16 when I could start getting fattier foods down.
Ugh I seriously hate myself for this.
ummmmm. A midwife is supposed to "play doctor" because she is a health practitioner responsible for your prenatal care and the delivery of your baby. What do you expect her to do?
Midwives usually have the opinion that diet and nutrition play an important role in the health of a pregnancy, which isn't a completely insane idea. If you're gaining a lot of weight you're probably either eating too much or not being active enough, which could cause you to develop problems during your pregnancy.
And OBs don't "play doctor" too much? That makes me laugh.
To OP, try not to get too discouraged. They were just trying to help you. I'm one of those people who doesn't gain much until the last four months and then I gain 10+ pounds at each visit and get really long lectures. Just listen to your body, eat healthy foods and try to get a little activity each day. Don't focus on a number on the scale.
You aren't very bright, are you? Don't be so quick to laugh.
No... OB's don't play doctor. OBs ARE doctors. A BIG difference.
A midwife is a nurse practitioner who specialized in obstetrics and delivering infants. But she's still a nurse. To say "A midwife is supposed to "play doctor" because she is a health practitioner responsible for your prenatal care and the delivery of your baby. What do you expect her to do?" is stupid. They are to remain within the scope of their practice. Not pretend to be more than they are. I've never known a midwife that didn't act like they were an OB when they are simply a nurse practitioner.
And to make a woman feel bad over 20 pounds is BS.
The office tried to make my next appointment with the midwife the other day when I went and I told them no thanks, I only see the OBs.
You're still fine with that amount. Most of it is probably water anyway. I have HUGE amounts of edema in my legs. Don't let her get to you...
just keep an eye on it, that's all.
::headdesk::
A midwife is trained to do everything that an OB can do except for surgical procedures. All of the prenatal care is the same. So yes, they may be "playing doctor", but that is what they are supposed to do, because that is their job.
Have fun with your OB when they are being an "actual" doctor and wanting to cut apart your vagina, induce your labor, strap you to a bed flat on your back with monitors, or slice your tummy open unnecessarily. Those are all possibilities for you.
I'll stick with my midwife who "plays doctor" by allowing me to labor naturally and on my own terms without any "doctorly" intervention. lol
Not all OB's are like that. I am lucky to have found an office that stands for everything I do. They are happy to go forward with as little intervention as I am comfy with and even do a breech extraction. There is a reason I know this is all true, for one one of the drs is a family friend and because they deal with a large community that is very religous and has certain beliefs.
So I will stick with someone who doesn't have to PLAY Dr and can slice me open if god forbid it were medically necessary!
I normally would NOT judge people for their beliefs and even considered a mid-wife however I think most people on these boards do NOT appreciate your tone and judgment.
I am very glad that you were able to find a doctor that will do a breech delivery. That is very rare and impossible to find in my area.
I apologize if my tone was offensive. I got too defensive when the PP implied that a midwife is not qualified to give out prenatal advice, especially about the health and nutrition of a patient of hers. If she isn't qualified to do that, what is she qualified to do?
Once again, I'm sorry for my tone. I shouldn't have reacted that way.
girl, i've gained 20 lbs too, and my doc mentioned her concern to me too, i felt bad and fat for quite some time but now after getting some cute mat. clothes that actually fit me i feel a lot better. i'm sure i will gain more than we are supposed to but whatever:)
Technology is a wonderful thing. I have no problem having a monitor around my abdomen to make sure my baby is not in distress. The fact that you would choose not to have that shows that you aren't willing to do everything and anything you can to ensure a healthy baby. They don't strap you to a bed. They put a piece of elastic around your belly that has a monitor attached. Using restraints on a patient that is not a risk to themselves or others is illegal. Even when I have patients that are fall-risks, we can't strap them down. We can put TWO rails up... not all 4. We can put on a bed alarm, and a motion detector but no one is strapped down. Psych is different and even then, there are requirements that must be met.
My doctor CAN do a C-Section, but won't unless it's needed. But if my baby is in distress, I want the REAL doctor that can roll me down the hall and perform lifesaving surgery. I don't want to WAIT for them to call someone and have them show up too late because the midwife couldn't do it.
Even an episiotomy if one is needed, or as you call it "cutting apart my vagina". I would much rather have a controlled surgical incision if one was needed than a jagged tear because the midwife was trying to allow you to "go natural". A jagged rip is harder to repair, and hurts a hell of a lot more. Also, a surgeon is more able to stitch that up nicely, than a midwife.
An induction of labor is also not always a bad thing. If your condition indicates an earlier delivery is needed, then an induction can be an act of intervention, not just a convenience.
You should educate yourself more before you post and look like an uninformed granola mom.
You have gotten caught up in the hype, and that's okay. It happens. But educate yourself to the things that can go wrong, and you will know why an OB/surgeon is a far better choice. There is more to pregnancy than dietary advice from a midwife. In fact, my DOCTOR referred me to a perinatologist that also has a nutritionist on staff and they are tending to my GD.
I am in the same boat and holding my breath for my OB visit on Wednesday! I have gained about 16 pounds, and the scale seems to be climbing rapidly. I actually LOVE my OB and all of his advice. I know he means well....but I have a feeling he will tell me to slow down with the weight gain. Ugh. It is what it is, right? And I have been fortunate to lose the weight quickly with the 1st two. Hopefully we will be okay:)
We can agree to disagree. Your post is also full of a lot of misinformation and FWIW, I've had two babies in a hospital aready. In one case I was "tied to a bed". I'm sure you understood that I didn't mean physically restrained when I originally posted that, but rather that some doctors require you to be hooked up to monitors and IVs and do not allow you to remove them, which in essence, ties you to the bed and doesn't allow you to move freely in ways that hep you manage pain. I'm glad that your hospital and doctors do not require that, as many others do.
You assume that I am uninformed and haven't done my research and that is OK. It sounds like you also haven't done your research in what the role of a midwife is and what they are and aren't trained to do (things like stitching up a tear). You're also not considering the things that midwives do that OBs are clueless about - for example, the homeopathic medicine and massage that kept me from tearing with either of my other pregnancies.
But we're both coming from completely different places - You are right that I do believe the hype and am choosing to have my baby at home without intervention because the research that I have done indicates that it is what is best for me and my baby. If I were in your shoes and had GD or something else that made me high risk, I would feel differently. Midwives are only a good option for healthy, low-risk mothers and babies. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and your delivery.
The fact that you are having your baby at home with a midwife attending proves my point.
FULLY.
Thank you.
That's a ridiculous thing to say to someone. It doesn't show that she's not willing to ensure a healthy baby. It shows that she holds a different view of childbirth than you do. I'm all about the hospital. I want the drugs, and I want them fast. But that doesn't mean I judge people who want to have a home birth or a birth in a tub, or whatever. I'm learning that the whole process of being pregnant and giving birth is a very subjective thing, and while there are lots of rights and wrongs, there are also a lot of gray areas.
Wow. You're nicer than I would have been
So much misinformation there I wouldn't know where to start. How someone could take what you posted and conclude that "...you aren't
willing to do everything and anything you can to ensure a healthy baby..." is horrible and absurd. Not sure what the "uneducated granola mom" comment was based on...a difference of opinion? Ugh. People are bound to disagree but I really don't get the hatefulness (to put it nicely). As far as the "playing doctor" issue - people come on this board asking medical questions all of the time. But it's a big deal if a nurse or midwife gives any advice on weight gain during pregnancy? Don't get it.
How much research have you done on the topic? I'm guessing very little, if any. Just because it's not for you does not make it a bad choice for someone else.
This.
Probably the most ignorant and bitchy thing I've read in a while. I am going to try for a natural birth. I came to that conclusion based on endless research. Telling someone who makes a different choice for the birth of her child (based on her own research and/or experience) that she is stupid or doesn't care about her baby would be ridiculous. You don't have to agree to be respectful.
I'm not sure what point you think you've made, but you do realize that all over the world and still in parts of this country many DOCTORS have home practices where they will visit patients in their home to perform check-ups and other medical procedures. Just because a medical professional isn't doing their work in a building designated for medical emergencies doesn't mean that they are any less qualified. My husband is a physical therapist and does home health visits all the time - does that make him less qualified than a therapist that works in a hospital or outpatient facility?
I guess I just still don't understand the original question, which was what is so doctorly about advising a woman that she is gaining too much weight within a pregnancy. Pregnancy nutrition and diet is part of the standard training for a midwife or nurse practitioner, so how are they "playing doctor"?
I've heard it all, ladies. I appreciate the support, but what she is saying is nothing that my family and friends haven't said to me IRL. People have no idea what they are talking about and just like to give their opinion on homebirth or midwifery based on the fear-based stuff the media tells them about it. I've been seeing a midwife for all of my "female" care since age 16 - so almost 14 years now. I am completely confident in the training and care that midwives provide based on over a decade of care, so when people who have no idea what they are talking about give an opinion it's easy to shrug it off.
I also find that the people in my life that respond to a debate or argument by attacking the character of the person with a different opinion really have no idea what they are talking about. It's a defense mechanism they use to make themselves feel smarter and give themselves a pat of their backs for being so "clever". We all know those kinds of people and how they make themselves look when they do that.
A midwife is not just a nurse practitioner. A midwife is a midwife. A women's health nurse practitioner does not do the same things a midwife does. Saying they are the same thing because they both have MSN degrees is like saying a family practice physician is the same thing as an ob/gyn because they both have MD after their name.
(Also not all midwives are nurses)
Midwives are well qualified to attend low-risk pregnancies and births. There are lots of studies backing this up and showing good outcomes for both mothers and babies.
I really don't understand the hostility you are showing here toward midwives and home birth. That's not the choice you made, fine. But you seem angry that other women make different choices than you do and I don't get it.
Boy - you;re some kind of assshole, aren't you?
Unlike adamwife, I won't be apologizing for my tone. Your shiitty treatment of other mothers' perfectly legitimate health choices fully deserves it.
The only point you just proved is that you're completely intolerant of anyone that sees things differently than you. Thank you for clarifying to everyone that you're close-minded and ignorant.
wow. you are quite the idiot, aren"t you. and quite misinformed as well. I have not read all the responses, but hope that you have been fully educated in this post.
Then I have failed. I'm usually pretty definitively the most biitchy. I'm also one of the most honest.
Your comparisons are sad. Clearly an effort to find some basis for your opinion. I have never heard of a patient dying at home because of physical therapy and not being able to reach help in time. However, the mother and baby can die for that very reason in a home birth.
The fact is if you don't want to take advantage of lifesaving technology, you're as stupid as those people that don't believe in medical attention for the kids and just pray to make them better.
By the way, who the heck are all of these people on this thread? Half of you aren't pregnant, but came here to comment.
If you were a regular around here on good ol' second Tri, you'd know that yes, I'm some kind of a-hole, but I'll be an a-hole in the hospital giving birth safely.
Granola to you all...
There you go calling people stupid again. That's OK, we all understand that you are unable to address the many questions about what you have said and points that have been brought up in this post. Instead you continue to call people names and disrespect their choices.
You're not worth the time it takes to type this, clearly. From my limited time on this board I can already see that you live to stir the drama up, but have nothing substantial to offer as advice or to back up your opinions.
Also, being a self-proclaimed b!tch isn't something that you should be proud of, especially as a 36-year-old mother. I would set higher expectations for yourself.
::passes adamwife some granola::
We could share with emjay, but I don't think it's on her GD diet. That's too bad - granola makes you smarter.
To the OP: I don't think you should feel bad about your weight gain. Hopefully the nurse (or midwife? I can't remember which at this point) was just being a little overzealous in emphasizing that you need to keep an eye on it to prevent later complications. But like someone else mentioned, you still have a decent shot at being in or close to the average weight gain range. I wouldn't be surprised if your gain has leveled out at your next visit.
As far as all the other discussion, I'm really fortunate to have a great OB/GYN who is willing to perform natural births, allow you to go past your due date rather than inducing, etc. She gave birth to one of her children naturally, so she is familiar with the process, and she allows a doula or other birth coach in the delivery room.
I think it sounds like the person who is so adamant about having a hospital birth has had the importance of that drilled into her head, whether by a parent or a doctor. And to me that is a lot more dangerous than well-researched home-birth intentions.