Does your 1 year old care when you say "No"?

Soap1 · September 2010

Whenever I have to scold DS for getting into the trash or a plant or something, I always tell him "No!" in a stern voice, and often I clap or something to try and distract him. He totally doesn't give an F!

It can be SO tempting to swat his hand, but that's not my style. Does anyone have any discipline advice that doesn't involve a swat? Or is this just something he's too little to understand?

AfterAll · September 2010

Not one bit.. he doesn't even flinch.

brooketini · September 2010

DD is 21 months and still doesn't give an F when I say no. I usually just have to physically remove her from the situation and distract her with something else.

MarriedBestFriends · September 2010

Absolutely. She shakes her head, says no, and stops what she's doing. It's fairly awesome and I hope I didn't just jinx it.

CheeksMcGee · September 2010

I was exactly where you were a month ago! I bought the Love and Logic series and it has changed everything. Amazon has it - get the one for 0-6 years then go from there.

MrsV092207 · September 2010

Nope she doesn't care. I say "No" and then move her or give her something else to do, and she doesn't react. Sometimes she'll have a short-lived hissy fit if I take away whatever it is she shouldn't have, but even that is rare.

Mamaofthesea · September 2010

Well, I've always reserved the stern "no" for a very narrow set of circumstances, such as when DD is about to do something that could hurt her. IMO, if you use "no" for everything it looses its meaning and impact over time. There are ways to say no without using the word no, particularly for a one year old. Using a stern voice indicates anger and disapproval, which suggests that what the baby is doing is wrong or bad. A one year old doesn't explore the trash can because they are trying to be disobedient. They do it because they are curious and excited about their world. So if there are things you don't want them to do another approach is just to distract them or move them elsewhere, or add humor to the situation ("Ew, yucky trash. Let's go play over here!"), or just remove the temptation (like putting the trash somewhere DD can't get it). This has always seemed to work better for me. Don't get me wrong, this approach has not eliminated temper tantrums or frustration entirely (I do have a willful toddler after all), but at least now I've reserved the stern "no" as a secret weapon for when mommy really means NO. I also feel this approach respects DD's desire to explore and learn while providing appropriate guidance and boundaries.

wheelsonthebus · September 2010

When I say no, DS acts in one of the following ways:

1. laughs and will do whatever it is again and again and AGAIN

2. completely ignore me

3. throw a tantrum when I physically remove him and say no.

In short, no he doesn't listen! haha If a stranger says no, however, he listens and obeys. Go figure!

Chrysallys · September 2010

Most definitely. He usually gets pissed and hits me or something else. When you say no, it makes him want to do it all the more.

moonfaerie · September 2010

She doesn't care at all. She'll either ignore me, or look at me, shake her head no, and continue doing whatever it is. I give her a toy to distract her, and if that doesn't work, I physically move her from whatever I don't want her doing. I tell her why I'm moving her, "you'll get hurt if that falls on you" etc.

Lesley0228 · September 2010

DD didn't pay attention to no, except maybe a look in our direction and a giggle before resuming her activity, when she was 12 mo old but she does now. We would say no twice and after her not responding, remove her from whatever she was doing. Now if we say no she stops, looks at us, and then while looking to see if we're watching, will try again. When we say no again, she sort of huffs and walks away. It just takes them a while to understand the meaning. I think removing her from whatever she was doing after saying no helped her to understand that she wasn't supposed to do that and we were going to stop her if she didn't stop on her own.

iteachk · September 2010

I have never used "no" much with DD. When she was younger, I redirected & said something like, "We don't touch the trash, it's dirty."

Now time out is working well for us. I try to redirect first, but sometimes I threaten a time out. She gets it, and I rarely have to put her there.

GL!

ghdst1 · September 2010

DS totally understands and usually starts pouting or crying when he is told no. Has been doing this for a few months now.

Amber5103 · September 2010

When DD is doing something she knows she shouldn't she says "no, no, no" while she is doing it. She totally understands what I am telling her, but chooses to ignore me! But I try to distract her with something else or remove whatever she is getting into before telling her no.

Lizard2022 · September 2010

I don't knwo how much he understands but DS throws a tantrum when you tell him "no". I think he knows he going to have whatever he wants taken away, so he starts pouting as soon as I say "no". It doesn't stop him, but it upsets him.

AC_DC · September 2010

dd is 14 mos and just really started getting the concept of "no." At your little one's age we did more of the "ignoring the behavior" unless it was dangerous. We tried to distract as much as we could, like you've been trying. We also tried to say things like "lets not do that" and save the "no" for real, serious, things that were actually bad. We used words like "danger" for the hot oven or stairs to help her understand that "no" was different from that dangerous. at 11 mos if she did something like hit we would put her down and turn away, and/or leave the room. This seemed to stop that behavior very quickly. GL!

Squishycheeks · September 2010

DD hates being told no. She usually cries, or shakes her head no back. She's doing fairly well on listening when I tell her no, but we do still have to redirect her at times.

princessbeulah · September 2010

Oh my gosh... I was just going to ask about this. DD used to shake her head when I said no and sort of hesitate. NOW, she either laughs, gets mad and cries, or completely ignores me.

el25 · September 2010

My daughter is 22 months old, and she thinks it is hysterical when I say no. She actually laughs at me when I try to discipline her. It's useless.

lwrigley2000 · September 2010

Yes, he cares when I say, "no." He understood it by 9 mo and would stop whatever he was doing when I would say it. He still understands it, but seems to have selective listening when it comes to the word, "no." Sometimes he stops and sometimes he ignores me.