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Parenting
Talk me out of a 3rd child....Especially those with 2 girls
I just need a confimation that it is alright not to have both girls and boys. If we had a boy and a girl I know for a fact we would be done. But we have two girls and love them dearly it still crosses my mind if we will ever have a boy. But if we did try to have a 3rd child I know it could be another girl. (which would be fine, girls are FUN!)
I guess I am just tired of everyone saying " Now when are you going to try to get your BOY. "
Anyone else have 2 of the same sex and thinking they are done.
Just needed to vent. Please don't flame.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Talk me out of a 3rd child....Especially those with 2 girls
We are 2 and done. I LOVE having two girls. They absolutely adore one another, and it makes it so easy that everything in my house is girl themed- playroom, clothes, bikes, etc...it's so easy that they can share everything.
Plus I grew up with one sister and she is my best friend to this day, and I hope for that for my girls as well.
GL with your decision.
I don't know if we're done yet or not. If we would have a 3rd child, it wouldn't be for a few more years anyway. I think at that point we'd need to decide if we wanted to do it all over again. Our first 2 are 4 years apart, and it really is like starting over. I really noticed it when we were at a waterpark this summer. DH and I took turns taking DD1 in the water, and all I could think was how much more fun it will be next year when DD2 is 1yo and the year after when she's 2yo. Then the 4 of us could be spending time together. So, we're still undecided. Either way, I don't have a preference to have a boy or a girl. I think it would be nice to have a boy, but I think having 3 girls would be fun too.
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
I'm not sure if we are done yet either. Dh says he's 100% sure he's done, but he know's I'm still undecided. For us though #3 isn't about having to have a boy. I'm really happy that DD#1 has a sister to grow up with. I'm the oldest of 4 girls and 1 brother..and honestly DH and I are very comfortable raising girls. I'm not sure I'd know how to parent a boy (If we decided to have a third and had a boy of course I would learn), but I always say that I have girls for a reason (because I grew up with sisters). Sometimes, I think it would be nice to have a boy, but I would be perfectly fine w/ another girl too. I hear you though about the annoying, "So when are you going to try for a boy?" question. I think it's people's way of making conversation and thinking that the perfect family consists of one of each. Good luck w/ whatever you decide.
Ryan 5/2010, Kyle 1/2007, Eric 3/2005
I think this is really true. Hell, I used to say similar stuff before having kids. Try not to let it bother you.
I have one of each and it is REALLY fun to get to experience both. Recently DS has become obsessed with all things transportation. Every airplane, train, car, bus, truck, etc is super exciting to him and garbage pickup is free entertainment. He is innately very different than DD. HOWEVER, I am still conflicted about a 3rd (DH is D-O-N-E though so...), I'd like one of my kids to experience a same sex sibling and I do want a bigger family.
Of course it is okay to have kids all the same sex and I would try not to make "trying for a boy" your reason for having a third. Make sure you and your DH REALLY want a third...
I completely agree with this.
I grew up with 3 sisters. Growing up in a house of 4 girls + my mother was so hectic and DRAMA-CRAZED!! I did not want that for my family. I would have considered a 3rd if I was guaranteed it would be a boy!! Otherwise, I was not willing to risk having another girl.
Besides the gender reasons not to have more, I also know my limits. I feel like I can be a great mom to 2 kids but that I'd be only a good or OK mom to 3 or more.
Christmas 2011
I wanted three girls! DS1 hendered that thought and well when I found out DS2 was a boy, I cried! I really wanted DD to have a sister!!! But (and I believe in a higher being), I really do believe that I got what I needed. A boy (esp DS2) fit better into our mix and he is perfect and I wouldn't change our situation/make-up for the world!!
However, it is harder to have 3 kids versus two (I thought two was a cake walk)....3 changes everything but I do believe in the next year or two, it will be easier!! 3 is daycare (over the summer) is HARD!!! Getting three (esp our ages) in and out anywhere can be difficult too. I have one more child than I do hands and that can be tough. Patience is something my kids have to learn!!
Here's the other side of the argument. I have one of each sex, and get the comments that we must be so happy that we are done. Uh - who are you to make that decision? Just because a family has a girl and a boy doesn't mean that's the definition of a perfect family.
People just say things to say things and usually it makes them sound very ignorant.
I couldn't help it....
(and to clarify - not mama, but the ppl she is talking about. )
You put it much better than I did. All of this. Word for word.
I came from a family of 3 girls, and I never missed having a brother. That's just how our family was, and I loved having sisters.
Now I have 3 boys, and that feels like the perfect family to me also. I totally understand how annoying the comments are, because I get them all. the. time. When I was pregnant with #3, I constantly heard "Are you hoping for a girl? Maybe it will be a girl! GIRL GIRL GIRL" Gah! Shut UP already, people! When Thomas was a newborn, I actually had a couple of strangers at the grocery store tell me how sorry they were that I had another boy. I just said, "Don't be." and stared them down. How dare they look at my gorgeous baby and express their condolences! I was furious, and fortunately it hasn't happened since. These days most people just say things like "3 boys? You must be busy!" I just smile and say yes, I am. That one doesn't bother me so much, because it's true-- even though I'm busy because I have three young kids, not necessarily because they're boys.
Long story short, it's not only ok to have a family of all boys or girls, it's wonderful! If you want to stop at 2 girls, do it. If you think you want a 3rd child, then go for it. Just don't do it because you're really wanting a boy.
Ditto this. I got that a lot after #2 and when I was pg with #3 lots of people assumed that I had two of one sex and that's why I was having a thrid.
I will also say that having 3 kids is tough. It's a lot to juggle and I have almost zero downtime during the day. I am happy I have 3 kids, but it has been harder than I thought it would be.
Exactly this, word for word, 100%.
{Ava 5.16.06} {Ella 12.29.07} {Drew 2.9.10}
I think this is true too (so does DH) and that's one of the reasons we want a 3rd (although, he's hoping it's a boy so that DS can have a brother and I'm hoping it's a girl so that DD can have a sister). I think no matter what, people give you their opinions on #3. Many people told us we're crazy to have a 3rd b/c we have a boy and a girl.