Plan for DC#1 when in labor/hospital?

Sami78 · September 2010

So I was hoping for a VBAC but in trying to plan for someone to watch DS while I'm in the hospital, I'm starting to wonder whether I should just schedule a c-section. This is disappointing because I didn't want another c-section, but I think I'd rather have some peace of mind with our plan for DS.

My train of thought...DS#1 can always stay with friends when I'm in labor and in the hospital, but I'm wondering how this would work. If everything happens at 3am, do we wake him, put him in the car, and drop him off with friends? He'll be 2, and this sounds like it would be traumatic...for both DS AND for me! I'd like to keep him in his routine as much as possible and have someone come stay at our house. After all, a brand new baby brother will be enough of an adjustment. My mom has agreed to come stay with us, but she's out of state, and I'm worried that the timing of her visit might not work out since labor can be unpredictable, and she can't stay with us for a really long time (maybe a week or two max). Wondering what your thoughts are and/or what you're planning to do.

Thanks for your advice. I know I've got time to figure this out, but for some reason this is really keeping me up at night

erin1102 · September 2010

I had 2 friends who were "on call" in case I went in to labor naturally. Since I wound up with my scheduled c-section, I had my mom stay with #1 and then the between my mom, husband, and in-laws, they all took turns watching him and someone was always with me at the hospital to help with the baby, especially the first couple of days.

spursgirl10 · September 2010

It's hard to plan anything really. You can do tentative planning. But you have to keep in mind that your LO has a mind of it's own. She/he will come when she/he wants. Even if you plan a C-Section. She could decide otherwise. She could decide to start coming two weeks before that....then your plans have all gone down the drain. You can have an emergency plan...that might work. My family is trying to plan their trips around my c section and I keep telling them fine but just know that Julia might decide to come on her own before that.....

Squishycheeks · September 2010

Do you have a friend or family member nearby that would be willing to come stay with your son if you went into labor at night? That way he could sleep through you leaving for the hospital and you could still try for a VBAC.

We're taking DD to my parent's house, but they live close and she's very comfortable staying with them so I'm not too worried with how she'll handle it.

lexigrl · September 2010

I have been thinking the same thing...there is a very good possibility I will be having a scheduled C-section this time around due to many issues I had when I gave birth to DS # 1 but the final decision won't be made for a while once we have monitored the growth of DS # 2 and my blood pressure issues. I have no idea what we are going to do with DS # 1 if I go into labor early. My in-laws live in NC and are planning to be up here when the baby is born and if I am scheduled for a C-section at least I know when they will be here. My mom and sis don't live far but my sis has a baby herself and my mom works fulltime in NYC. I guess if I do go into labor early I will just bring DS to the hospital with us and have someone come pick him up and if we decide I don't need a C-section at least I can plan to have my MIL at least here for a week or 2 before the baby is supposed to be born just in case.

Mrs.JBowman@gmail.com · September 2010

We are in the same boat. I HOPE that my parents will be here to watch DD when I go into labor, but they live 3 states away so that may or may not happen. I was induced with DD and would love to be induced with DS too just for the simple sake of planning...although that prob sounds bad. When your family is out of town though, if def makes it easier. As long as my parents are here, mom will be at the hospital and dad will be taking care of DD. If that doesn't work out, then I guess I should think of a back up plan. LOL

rosesandpeonies · September 2010

I am having a planned csection, so my parents are coming down then, however, if I do go earlier than expected my sister in law and brother in law are on call (since they are the only family that live remotely close to me). If I go earlier my mom has agreed to change her plane ticket as soon as she finds out and come down earlier as well.

houndbaby · September 2010

My parents are planning to watch ds while we are at the hospital. I'm most likely going to be induced early since I have GD again, my parents live a few hours away so they would just be here before I would have to go to the hospital. If I were to go into labor on my own before then ds would stay with a friend until my parents would be able to come and get him.

mavs_girl07 · September 2010

I've been worried about this too. We have a c/s scheduled for Dec. 15th (at 39wks) but he may come earlier. If it's in the middle of the night, I don't know what we'll do honestly. All of our family lives minimum 5hrs away, and all of our close friends have families/children of their own. DD has a SAHM who watches her during the day, I've thought about asking her to be "on call" just in case something happened in the middle of the night. DD loves her and knows her, so it wouldn't be difficult if she woke up to find her here. But she has 2 kids of her own, and I just don't know that she'd be willing to do that for us. So yeah...this is something we're still trying to figure out.

ReeseM · September 2010

My inlaws are local, thank goodness. (So is my mom, but she will be with me).

I am planning for a VBAC as well. Here is our plan

If it;s in the night, then MIL will come stay at our house, then take care of DD as long as need be, probably bringing her back to their house at a normal our.

If it's day (and DD isn't in school), then we will drop her off on the way there. I can see that being a lot of fun in that I will be contracting and so forth, but these things take time! So that should be ok.

I am also going to have a friend "on call" in case something falls through for any reason.

I really wouldn't want to change my VBAC plan because I was worried about childcare! I hope you guys find a solution!

Brittanie_1987 · September 2010

Squishycheeks:

Do you have a friend or family member nearby that would be willing to come stay with your son if you went into labor at night? That way he could sleep through you leaving for the hospital and you could still try for a VBAC.

We're taking DD to my parent's house, but they live close and she's very comfortable staying with them so I'm not too worried with how she'll handle it.

This for us too but if I were you, I would create a plan for the VBAC. Even with "plans" I think they usually go out the door during that time anyway! Good luck!

kbergo · September 2010

Im hoping for a VBAC also, and I have no family and few friends in the area (certainly no friends I would trust with my son) We are new to the area, which just makes it trickier. My parents can be here 4hours from me calling them, so if worse comes to worse and I go in the middle of the night, we may just have to call them and I might go in alone and have dh meet me when he can?? I hate that idea, though. Im hoping that my doctor can give me some estimate on how soon I might go when we get to that point, and I can enlist some visitors for those last few weeks so we always have a friend, sister, mom at our house in case it happens. I just dont know. It does feel wierd to take the risks associated with a VBAC when it puts us in such a bad position; in a way it would be easier to just do the csection---BUT, then it just makes childcare afterwards more difficult since it will be very hard to take a toddler to daycare or anything when you arent even allowed to drive for two weeks. . .

darlene'smommy · September 2010

We have a planned c-section but if I go in to labor early my bil will come to our house to watch dd so he can take one of our cars with her car seat installed. If we make to our c-section then we will have a sitter set up for her.

on_the_move · September 2010

I have also been very worried about this! We just moved to a new town and our families are in diffrent states. My best plan at this time is there are a couple of old retired ladies at church that I hope to befriend and having one of them stay with him before MIL can fly in.

chicsub · September 2010

I'm planning on a VBAC and my plan is this:

Middle of the night, ask a neighbor to swing by for a couple hours until my mom or a friend can come by. My friends have even said to call in the middle of the night b/c it's for a good reason, they have kids too, but they have DH's to be there in the morning for their kids when they wake up.

I'm going to try and get a handful of people on call and hope for the best. I'm really hoping for a VBAC so I can get BACK to my son quicker than I would if I had surgery vs. worrying about the small window of time when I'm in labor.

kabarbanel · September 2010

My parents, brother, and good friend will pretty much be "on call" around that time. My mom is most likely to be able to get to my house the quickest, so she will come to our house until my borhter or friend can get there to watch DS(whoever is first). My parents will then come to the hospital and wait like they did with DS. I plan to have my mom stay with DS at our house while I am in the hospital. Or with them, whichever they prefer...DS has had MANY over night stays with my parents, and we see my parents about 4 times a week, so I don't feel like him going over there would mess up his "routine" or anything. Gonna play it by ear for the most part! My hospital is less than a mile away so I am not too too worried about it.

mrswright2006 · September 2010

DD will be with my parents. If it happens in the middle of the night, I will call them, and they will stay at our house for the night. If it is daytime, she will go with my Dad until my Mom gets off work, then she will stay at their house (she loves to stay at her grandparent's house, so it is more like a treat than a punishment). My biggest fear is that things will start while she is at Preschool ... then I will have to figure out how to pick her and the boy I transport up ... not an ideal situation.

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