Men & diapers - clicky poll

mchupie · September 2010

We were discussing this on the January board and thought it would make a fun clicky.

I was watching an episode of Bringing Home Baby and the husband said he refuses to change diapers. This got me curious about men & diapers in general. Please feel free to elaborate on your answer.

[Poll]

LMSmith114 · September 2010

My DH has never changed a diaper before. He has been around babies before but claims he will only change a diaper when it's his baby!!! And believe me I will hold him to that!!! He can change the first diaper in the hospital!

gdssofshdws · September 2010

He had no choice. I told him if we got DS circumcised I didn't want to touch it until it was healed. I was scared I would hurt it. I did eventually do it even during the healing process, but in the hospital he did it all! He was great!

utlawgirl · September 2010

Refusing to change diapers? Seriously?? That seems patently unreasonable, and would definitely not fly with me. There is a limited number of things DH can do for the baby, especially at first, and changing diapers will definitely be one of his main duties. I wouldn't say he's psyched about it (neither am I), but he'll definitely do it.

alli&pat · September 2010

SS answer - we are already parents. DH changes plenty of diapers and does so with no complaint (i almost said that he does so willingly...but let's face it, there are some diapers we'd hire out to be changed if we could Stick out tongue

) and actually since i had a c-section, DH changed all diapers in the first few days because i couldn't get up and hold DS at the same time...so since he was up getting DS from me, he'd go ahead and change the diaper.

mchupie · September 2010

utlawgirl:
Refusing to change diapers? Seriously?? That seems patently unreasonable, and would definitely not fly with me. There is a limited number of things DH can do for the baby, especially at first, and changing diapers will definitely be one of his main duties. I wouldn't say he's psyched about it (neither am I), but he'll definitely do it.

I know! It just seemed so crazy to me, that's why I wanted to take it to the ladies on this board. I didn't want to believe there were multiple men like that out there. I am SO glad to see that no one has answered that their husband has refused yet.

KelleyBelly11 · September 2010

Husband's never held a baby younger than 10 months much less changed a diaper. haha! That'll change.

alli&pat · September 2010

mchupie:

utlawgirl:
Refusing to change diapers? Seriously?? That seems patently unreasonable, and would definitely not fly with me. There is a limited number of things DH can do for the baby, especially at first, and changing diapers will definitely be one of his main duties. I wouldn't say he's psyched about it (neither am I), but he'll definitely do it.

I know! It just seemed so crazy to me, that's why I wanted to take it to the ladies on this board. I didn't want to believe there were multiple men like that out there. I am SO glad to see that no one has answered that their husband has refused yet.

did you see this whole episdoe thru? there was one recently where they kept playing up that dad wouldn't change diapers. then at the end, dad ended up sharing that he kept trying to change diapers and mom would tell him he wasnt doing it right and take over so he gave up. it made me sad for him.

UrbanHippieMama · September 2010

DH doesn't refuse, but he hates doing it, and freaks out ("Sick! It's all up her back! Help! It stinks!" etc.). I usually do them, since I don't mind, but he will if I ask him to.

ETA: He did the majority of them in the beginning. It wasn't until she was on mostly solids that it got harder for him... haha.

mchupie · September 2010

alli&pat:
mchupie:

utlawgirl:
Refusing to change diapers? Seriously?? That seems patently unreasonable, and would definitely not fly with me. There is a limited number of things DH can do for the baby, especially at first, and changing diapers will definitely be one of his main duties. I wouldn't say he's psyched about it (neither am I), but he'll definitely do it.

I know! It just seemed so crazy to me, that's why I wanted to take it to the ladies on this board. I didn't want to believe there were multiple men like that out there. I am SO glad to see that no one has answered that their husband has refused yet.

did you see this whole episdoe thru? there was one recently where they kept playing up that dad wouldn't change diapers. then at the end, dad ended up sharing that he kept trying to change diapers and mom would tell him he wasnt doing it right and take over so he gave up. it made me sad for him.

I don't think I saw that episode. In the one I saw, the husband said that he wasn't changing diapers at all, and that it was "her thing". Yuck.

SpartanGirl · September 2010

DH changes an equal amount of diapers (maybe more) when he is home. I don't see how this is "mom duty." If DH wasn't willing to change diapers I would seriously reconsider having kids with him. I mean, what else would he be unwilling to do? It's his baby too and he should share an equal responsibility for all child related tasks.

kabarbanel · September 2010

DH had never changed a diaper before DS was born. He was nervous at first but after a few times of me helping him, he was perfectly fine. Since I SAH, I of course do the majority of the diapers throughout the day but when he is home, he is usually the one to change DS. He doesn't mind. Part of a parents' job.

AlliB101 · September 2010

I put SS because when DS1 arrived H changed plenty of diapers (in fact, the nurses made him do the first one and he was really bossy with me the first time I tried to do one and kept telling me what I was doing wrong). BUT, after a few weeks it became part of "my" thing, and he was back working, and he hasn't changed a single one since.

I think the same thing will probably happen this time - he will help at first when it feels overwhelming, then it will be all me. I'm ok with this, but a lot of other people aren't - one family member who is quite aggresive with her 70's-style militant feminism tried to force DH to change DS' diaper at a recent family get-together, and while I was doing it, he said (mainly just to piss her off) "I earn the money, so she changes the diapers!" teehee.

Firefly205 · September 2010

Sure no one likes to change diapers but my DH has never complained and I haven't had to ask either. I have to say he's a great dad and I am pretty blessed because he takes just as much responsibility as me.

Soap1 · September 2010

I don't understand women who let their husbands get away with never changing a diaper. That's stupid and ridiculous.

DH doesn't change as many as I do, but he definitely does it when necessary. And he changed most of the very early ones because I was having some trouble moving around!

kbergo · September 2010

Wow, what kind of a jerk refuses to take care of their own child!? My dh always liked it; obviously he wasnt thrilled about the icky aspect, but it was a special face-time that he got with our son. He will do it again this time Im sure. Also, he wanted to feel "involved" with the middle of the night feedings even though I was nursing, so when DS would wake up, DH would change his diaper and then bring him to me to nurse. It let him bond with him more, and was a huge help to me.

Hyfagal · September 2010

My H has requested we sign up for an infant care course because he's nervous to change diapers and bathe the baby. I think it's awesome that he's willing and wants to take a class instead of just throwing his hands up saying, "I don't know how to do it" as he passes her back to me.

flowerchild77 · September 2010

He was nervous at first, especially with poop. He got scared he would hurt her. Now hes all about the diapers. He doesnt mind them now.

Lucky_Dragonfly · September 2010

MH was totally fine about changing DS's diapers. He had done it before as he used to babysit the neighbors kids in high school and we also had 2 nephews and a neice before DS came along.

shafinaandkraig · September 2010

I think DH is actually looking forward to changing the diapers! When we got our first batch of cloth diapers we both practiced putting them on a stuffed animal and DH was quite proud of his handiwork. Lol

smllel · September 2010

DH WILL change diapers if he has to. Preferably wet. Dirty diapers actually make him vomit (how convenient). Baby #3 is on its way, so I am not expecting much different.

AshasaurusRex · September 2010

Although he's not excited about it, he changes his fare share of diapers, and would never expect me to change all of them.

etude de la vie · September 2010

DH has never changed a diaper.

1) He would if I wasn't home but I am with her 100% of the time and don't mind changing diapers.

2) we do a cloth/disposable hybrid and he is very confused

3) most days he gets home from work after she is already sleeping and gets maybe an hour in the morning with her. Besides the weekends (sometimes he works on the weekends too) there isn't much time for him to be changing diapers.

4) I am a little OCD and like how I do things. DD has SUPER sensitive skin and I have a specific order to keep her skin healthy.

Also, no one really changes her diaper other than me, mostly because they just don't understand how to change her diapers....it is not hard but people get this stupid puzzled look on their face when I give instructions (its not rocket science!).

Honestly I don't mind and I don't keep a tally. We don't play the game "I did it 3 times today its your turn" Lastly, DH does stuff I have never done (like take out the trash).

erbear · September 2010

My DH had never touched a baby before and he was fine. As far as I'm concerned, if you helped make it, you help take care of it. Fortunately, he agrees.

~adamwife~ · September 2010

My husband doesn't really change them and I don't mind it. If I'm home, I change the diapers, but of course if he is alone watching the kids he will change them.

We each have our responsibilities around the house and we both have things that we really don't enjoy doing. I don't like mowing the grass, so he does it. He doesn't like changing diapers, so I do it. Whatever.

ETA - we also cloth diaper and I think that is one of the reasons DH hates doing it. I too am picky about how I want my dipes soaked and what creams he is allowed to use, so it's just easier if I do it.

Lilleybug · September 2010

Our poor puppy had some stomach issues for about 2 months. Dh says since he cleaned that up I get all the baby diapers. He says he is clear for a year....not exactly! I will do most but Dh will help.

sweetpea18 · September 2010

Dh had never changed a diaper before dd. I made him change the first diaper in the hospital. He was nervous because of her leads (she was in the nicu), but was just fine doing it. Now, I think he changes more diapers than I do!

Pamela05 · September 2010

My BIL is one of these jerks. Sister actually had to call a neighbor to come over once while he had the baby and she was out. He was willing to let the baby sit in crap for 1.5 hrs because that's a womans job. Needless to say we are not fans if BIL.

CutieBean79 · September 2010

I voted special snowflake because he's not excited to dig into the poop, but he's not scared/nervous about it either. We are very close to our 6 nephews (6 yrs and under) and have changed a ton of diapers. He is willing and able, but not excited, KWIM?

DefiantRose · September 2010

DH at 28 is the oldest of 4 siblings, a brother 26, a sister 17, and a brother 9, so he had his fair share of helping his mom take care of the younger 2 siblings, changing diapers, bathing, etc, so he's all for doing whatever he needs to do.

For the moment, he's telling me the baby will be his as soon as he walks through the door after work... We'll see how long that lasts!

twinter24 · September 2010

My husband just laughs at me when I talk about poopy diapers, I am pretty sure he will gag the first few times...BUT he will be involved THIS I guarantee.

MrsCAA · September 2010

i'm bored and lurking (dh is putting ds to bed)

DH changed his 1st diaper in the hospital. He didnt ask me if i knew how- he just saw the there was a little blue line and no nurse around. So DH went into the hall and found the 1st medical person (a nurse, but it wasnt even my nurse) and had her talk him through it step by step (and it was poopy too). 2nd time he had another nurse watch to make sure he did it correctly.

I was in soo much pain the first wk, between DH and our moms i didnt change a single diaper.

liannemarie82 · September 2010

Mine is the stay at home dad, so he is the only one who changes diapers for my 2 year old, especially the stinky ones!

ademc05 · September 2010

Soap1:
I don't understand women who let their husbands get away with never changing a diaper. That's stupid and ridiculous.
DH doesn't change as many as I do, but he definitely does it when necessary. And he changed most of the very early ones because I was having some trouble moving around!

Dito.

Plus: The same ones who allow themselves to marry losers like my sister did. Their LO is nearly two and the DH has pretended to change a diaper twice and has never "watched" the LO besides while she'd been asleep for an hour.

sichmek5 · September 2010

My DH isn't thrilled that he is going to change diapers....but he knows I have a weak stomach (which I've already explained I can still change diapers) and he has already mentioned that he will do the majority of the diaper changes because he doesn't want me to throw up on the baby (this has never happened and I would highly doubt it would, but if he's saying he wants to then I'm in no way going to stop him.)

meltoine · September 2010

Given that I watched DH hold a baby for the first time about a year ago, he has never changed a diaper. Add to that the fact that we are using cloth and he is keeps claiming that he will never go near it. He's FOS though. Everytime I tell him to stop showboating and act like a father he admits that he actually has no problem with it.

Mama_SAS · September 2010

With DS I had a c-section and wasn't able to get out of bed for a few hours. DS pooped and DH changed the very first diaper with my verbal instructions. He's never shied away from diaper duty.

*Merry* · September 2010

DH has only ever changed one diaper before, and that was this past summer when we were babysitting my nephew and I made him do it, lol. He jokes that I will be the one changing our baby which for the most part is true since he will be gone 4-5 days a week working (commercial pilot) but those 2-3 days a week he is home he will be changing the diapers while I get a little break lol.

kbergo · September 2010

Obviously, to each their own, but I have to comment on this--I can't believe how many women compare changing their childs diaper to mowing the lawn or other household chores! Yes, dh does the lawn and I dont. But at the end of the day, when he has completed mowing, the lawn doesnt feel any closer to him. You change thousands of diapers that first year; while it may be fun, it IS something that is stimulating for your child. I really believe that it is important for us BOTH to be involved with anything that allows us one on one time with our little ones, and while I do end up changing more diapers (because I am home more), I have never once had to ask dh to change a diaper. He does it gladly because he loves our son--poop and all.

kbergo · September 2010

Obviously, to each their own, but I have to comment on this--I can't believe how many women compare changing their childs diaper to mowing the lawn or other household chores! Yes, dh does the lawn and I dont. But at the end of the day, when he has completed mowing, the lawn doesnt feel any closer to him. You change thousands of diapers that first year; while it may not be fun, it IS something that is stimulating for your child. I really believe that it is important for us BOTH to be involved with anything that allows us one on one time with our little ones, and while I do end up changing more diapers (because I am home more), I have never once had to ask dh to change a diaper. He does it gladly because he loves our son--poop and all.

kbergo · September 2010

Obviously, to each their own, but I have to comment on this--I can't believe how many women compare changing their childs diaper to mowing the lawn or other household chores! Yes, dh does the lawn and I dont. But at the end of the day, when he has completed mowing, the lawn doesnt feel any closer to him. You change thousands of diapers that first year; while it may not be fun, it IS something that is stimulating for your child. I really believe that it is important for us BOTH to be involved with anything that allows us one on one time with our little ones, and while I do end up changing more diapers (because I am home more), I have never once had to ask dh to change a diaper. He does it gladly because he loves our son--poop and all.

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