WWYD: Hostess said no to DH attending

Re: WWYD: Hostess said no to DH attending

• octbride1234 member

  September 2010

  I don't blame you for wanting him there. I think it is nice to have the dad join in on part or all of the celebration.  maybe you can work it out with her and see if he could at least be there for part of it.  From what you said in your OP maybe it would work out best for him to come in later on after you had a chance to eat and mingle with everyone. 
  

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• HarperM

  September 2010

  bam0219:

  sylwill:

  EastCoastBride:

  While I dont' care if the father comes to a shower or not, I think this is a bit of a stretch. A shower is a gift-giving event.  It's not a statement about womens views on the "man's place" in his childs life.

  Aren't the gifts for the parents? And a lot of the comments being made against having the man at the shower are about how "my DH" wouldn't be excited about sitting there looking at little clothes and diapers. Why the hell not? Isn't he going to use that stuff? If he rpefers watching football to attending his own baby's shower, well then let me assure you, he'll probably prefer watching football to feeding, changing diapers and bathing his kid too.

  You have got to bve kidding me!!!!! There is really no logic behind your statement. My DH has no intrest in the clothes or diapers, but he is a WONDERFUL hands on father. There is a big difference between having an interest in a onesie and the interest and love he has for his child. You are stretching that way to far!

   

  Double "you have got to be kidding me"!! That's just taking things a little too far and totally off topic.

  My husband would also rather crawl in a hole than attend the shower and I dont blame him. Dont blame yours if they would like to attend though either. To each their own. However, maybe we are just more old fashioned, but I agree about the shower being an event for women. Traditionally, anyways. So I can see why the hostess would prefer it that way. I would too. Just my personal preference/opinion. 

  Maybe just mention it to the hostess again and see what a fuss she puts up. If she does, I would honestly just leave it. Yes it sucks that she has to be that way when its a party for YOUR GUYS' baby, but at the same time, she is the hostess and now even if he does come, it could be awkward knowing how she feels? 

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• apokatie

  September 2010

  ToBeWedJuly07:

  After reading the majority of the comments... I can't believe we're in 2010 and not 1950.  I think that everyone's belief on this is has to be either generational, regional, or cultural,.. and maybe a combination, but I would like to think that in these recent years that the father of an expectant baby can't be told not to come to his own baby's shower, especially if he wanted to and his wife/mom to be didn't mind it.  Who says this is suppose to be girls' time when a boy and a girl had a great time and produced a baby.  A baby doesn't get made by only the girls.  So, should the father not also help feed, bathe, put to sleep, burp, or clothe the baby as well... or is that considered to be a mother's job.  If we really want our men and fathers of our children to help more in the parenting of our children, we need to treat them more equally, wouldn't you agree?  I can see if this was a bridal shower or bachelorette party, but a baby shower... I would be offended if my friend told me my DH wasn't allowed, especially if he just wanted to come towards the middle where he would help open gifts and then say thank you to everyone for buying his baby something to help prepare both he and his wife/mom to be.  How would you feel if you weren't allowed at your own baby's shower?   Sorry, just passionate and a little shocked on how some people feel like they have a right to tell you that your husband is not invited.  People wouldn't even not invite your husband to a wedding if inviting you, but he can't even be allowed to go to his own baby's shower... I just don't understand the reasoning.  
  

  This! I'd be upset too if my hostess told me DH couldn't attend. But, my MIL is hosting a shower/open house for me and DH is EXPECTED to be there for part of the time, MIL made that very clear. 

  

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