Am I the only one...

brittanyandcj · September 2010

i personally didn't come out and say anything for fear of people thinking i'm a huge biotch. i was ridiculed my entire life for my weight. i was always the outcast. always made fun of. i don't make friends easily. i always feel like i'm not included in things. but i feel like i've made some great friends in you guys, and didn't want to jeopardize that if i was the only one rubbed the wrong way by the posts, so kept my mouth shut. and yes, i know we all can't agree all the time. i am not offended by very much. i don't feel like i' m overly sensitive to very much. but infertility is one thing that i am very sensitive about.

Lyons_in_2007 · September 2010

curlypie1:
Lyons_in_2007:
curlypie1:

I understand how the verbiage used was upsetting to some but since we're all big girls, it seems like a more gentle tactic could have been used to avoid hurting someone's feelings.
I guess this is my point. I don't think many of us feel as though we *can* voice a discrepant/unpopular opinion on the board for fear of looking like a HRB (okay, now figure that new acronym out). KWIM?
Horny Redneck Ballbuster?

Sorry Kristen. Curly just took the lead...

Lyons_in_2007 · September 2010

KristenBtobe:
cops_wife:
KristenBtobe:
I wasn't involved with this particular discussion beforehand, but I think the gossiping is just par for the course when a board has cliques like this one. Is it right? No, but it's kind of what happens.
I consider myself clique-less, for the record. Like Jason Derulo, I'm riding solo. But there certainly are girls I've gotten close to.
I guess this is the post GTG drama.
I'm sure there will be cliques and gossip. This just rings of junior high, with everyone conferring at a party the unpopular kid wasn't invited to on how to gang up on them at school the next day. No one was really bothered enough to say anything on their own and risk being left hanging, but hey, if everyone's going to back one another up, that's a different thing. Perhaps I am scarred by junior high, but it just strikes me as a bit unnecessary.
Personally, I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack ...
And then I met you. And I thought "wait a minute, could it be?" And my wolfpack grew..

DAMN IT! You beat me to it! ARGH!

MrsMandaK · September 2010

curlypie1:

here, here

I gave up the gossip with my acne years ago.

AGREED!

awinning · September 2010

brittanyandcj:
i personally didn't come out and say anything for fear of people thinking i'm a huge biotch. i was ridiculed my entire life for my weight. i was always the outcast. always made fun of. i don't make friends easily. i always feel like i'm not included in things. but i feel like i've made some great friends in you guys, and didn't want to jeopardize that if i was the only one rubbed the wrong way by the posts, so kept my mouth shut. and yes, i know we all can't agree all the time. i am not offended by very much. i don't feel like i' m overly sensitive to very much. but infertility is one thing that i am very sensitive about.

Can I just give you a giant e-hug? Right Hug

Lyons_in_2007 · September 2010

adamsbabble:
KristenBtobe:

I wasn't involved with this particular discussion beforehand, but I think the gossiping is just par for the course when a board has cliques like this one. Is it right? No, but it's kind of what happens.
If a person is gossiping about everyone and also expecting everyone to be open/honest around here... well that's just silly. Who wants to be honest and share herself just so that it provides material for people to gossip about?

THIS is my point! If there was room for more honesty, around here, nobody would feel the need to gossip (although, now seeing and reading through the FB thread in question, I don't tend to qualify that as gossip).

brittanyandcj · September 2010

awinning:
brittanyandcj:
i personally didn't come out and say anything for fear of people thinking i'm a huge biotch. i was ridiculed my entire life for my weight. i was always the outcast. always made fun of. i don't make friends easily. i always feel like i'm not included in things. but i feel like i've made some great friends in you guys, and didn't want to jeopardize that if i was the only one rubbed the wrong way by the posts, so kept my mouth shut. and yes, i know we all can't agree all the time. i am not offended by very much. i don't feel like i' m overly sensitive to very much. but infertility is one thing that i am very sensitive about.
Can I just give you a giant e-hug?

haha! thanks! e-hugs back Left Hug

hav2run · September 2010

warrior*mom:
My real opinion is that I'm gonna take a sabbatical from the board. I've got the anniversary of DD's rape and my wedding anniversary coming up over the next month and I'm gonna go deal with all the BS that comes with that. I'll be checking for cookie swap posts though cuz I can't wait to poison you all with my cooking.
So, if you need me, find me on FB.
Peace Out Drama LLama's!

Nuh uh. Stop it. You can't go away so soon after planning that epic gtg. Really. I am gonna stalk your FB if you do.

hav2run · September 2010

awinning:
brittanyandcj:
i personally didn't come out and say anything for fear of people thinking i'm a huge biotch. i was ridiculed my entire life for my weight. i was always the outcast. always made fun of. i don't make friends easily. i always feel like i'm not included in things. but i feel like i've made some great friends in you guys, and didn't want to jeopardize that if i was the only one rubbed the wrong way by the posts, so kept my mouth shut. and yes, i know we all can't agree all the time. i am not offended by very much. i don't feel like i' m overly sensitive to very much. but infertility is one thing that i am very sensitive about.
Can I just give you a giant e-hug?

Me too. It kills my sensitivity button. Completely. Wishing you a fast BFP.

AmandaAndJason09 · September 2010

Meh, I don't mind being completely honest at all (in fact, this is sometimes a problem with me). I'm just usually late to read posts and they are already DED - just like this one, in fact - so I don't post my opinions.

Lyons_in_2007 · September 2010

cops_wife:
KristenBtobe:
And then I met you. And I thought "wait a minute, could it be?" And my wolfpack grew..
Aaahhh, this provided me with my first real laugh of the evening. Delightful.
On an unrelated note, I have been singing "I'm just being honest. Oh oh, I'm just being honest," over and over in my head ever since I read this post. So THANKS A LOT, Tricia.

A little OutKast makes EVERYTHING better.

adamsbabble · September 2010

Lyons_in_2007:
adamsbabble:
KristenBtobe:

I wasn't involved with this particular discussion beforehand, but I think the gossiping is just par for the course when a board has cliques like this one. Is it right? No, but it's kind of what happens.

If a person is gossiping about everyone and also expecting everyone to be open/honest around here... well that's just silly. Who wants to be honest and share herself just so that it provides material for people to gossip about?

THIS is my point! If there was room for more honesty, around here, nobody would feel the need to gossip (although, now seeing and reading through the FB thread in question, I don't tend to qualify that as gossip).

Well please do me a favor and don't gossip about me anyway, because HONESTLY, unless I totally ignore my children and sit them in front of the TV all day (which they would totally let me get away with, but I don't do it anyway) I just don't really have the time to get into all the drama and controversy around here and you know that giving your honest opinion only means you're going to have to defend it (especially if it's the unpopular opinion) etc etc etc. I'm really not afraid to be honest with people, because I don't think you have to afraid of being honest when you can do it with respect and class... it's a time/energy issue for me.

Brougham7-15-06 · September 2010

one wolfpack response=priceless!!!!! LOVE IT!

Lyons_in_2007 · September 2010

adamsbabble:
Lyons_in_2007:
adamsbabble:
KristenBtobe:

I wasn't involved with this particular discussion beforehand, but I think the gossiping is just par for the course when a board has cliques like this one. Is it right? No, but it's kind of what happens.
If a person is gossiping about everyone and also expecting everyone to be open/honest around here... well that's just silly. Who wants to be honest and share herself just so that it provides material for people to gossip about?
THIS is my point! If there was room for more honesty, around here, nobody would feel the need to gossip (although, now seeing and reading through the FB thread in question, I don't tend to qualify that as gossip).
Well please do me a favor and don't gossip about me anyway, because HONESTLY, unless I totally ignore my children and sit them in front of the TV all day (which they would totally let me get away with, but I don't do it anyway) I just don't really have the time to get into all the drama and controversy around here and you know that giving your honest opinion only means you're going to have to defend it (especially if it's the unpopular opinion) etc etc etc. I'm really not afraid to be honest with people, because I don't think you have to afraid of being honest when you can do it with respect and class... it's a time/energy issue for me.

I think I might be missing your point (or either you might be missing mine?). I don't want there to be a need for gossip (which, again, I'm struggling with using that term in *this* context). I just want to know whether or not people want honest opinions (if/when they are asking for them and/or if/when they are warranted). If they do, great. If they don't, then I won't give it. That's all.

Moesten · September 2010

What would be the point of these honest opinions? I would have to ask myself would it serve my purpose on this board? I came to this board to have a sounding board when I was pregnant and had lots of questions, to learn from other parents, and to perhaps find playmates for my child and friends myself. So my behavior on this board should, ultimately, help me achieve those goals. As it is I am openly disliked by the majority of users of this board. Throwing manners and tact to the wind and voicing every opinion I have as I have them certainly isn't going to help me accomplish the goals I have in being here. Ergo, I don't feel the need to give voice to every opinion I have on topics that come up.

brittanyandcj · September 2010

Moesten:
What would be the point of these honest opinions? I would have to ask myself would it serve my purpose on this board? I came to this board to have a sounding board when I was pregnant and had lots of questions, to learn from other parents, and to perhaps find playmates for my child and friends myself. So my behavior on this board should, ultimately, help me achieve those goals. As it is I am openly disliked by the majority of users of this board. Throwing manners and tact to the wind and voicing every opinion I have as I have them certainly isn't going to help me accomplish the goals I have in being here. Ergo, I don't feel the need to give voice to every opinion I have on topics that come up.

i know i personally can't stand you Stick out tongue

i was only kidding btw..which i'm sure you know.

Lyons_in_2007 · September 2010

Moesten:
What would be the point of these honest opinions? I would have to ask myself would it serve my purpose on this board? I came to this board to have a sounding board when I was pregnant and had lots of questions, to learn from other parents, and to perhaps find playmates for my child and friends myself. So my behavior on this board should, ultimately, help me achieve those goals. As it is I am openly disliked by the majority of users of this board. Throwing manners and tact to the wind and voicing every opinion I have as I have them certainly isn't going to help me accomplish the goals I have in being here. Ergo, I don't feel the need to give voice to every opinion I have on topics that come up.

I'm not suggesting that we have a "what does everyone REALLY think of so-and-so" day. I'm merely asking who wants honest opinions (if/when an opinion is being asked for and/or is appropriate within the context of the *conversation*) vs. who would rather not be confronted with them.

BTW - what do you mean by "...as it is I am openly disliked by the majority of users of this board"? Am I missing something? Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to believe that everyone does/should like everyone (or that everyone does/should like me for that matter); but I don't get the vibe that you are disliked by many.

Moesten · September 2010

No, no I know you weren't proposing a "What do we think of so and so" party. I get that you are asking if people want honest opinions or not in regards to the questions they post. But I think one learns people's intent and desires by watching the board long enough. I think it's similar to what Kristen was saying before about learning the lay of the land. Some people want an honest opinion, others want validation of their feelings or perspective and are pretty unwelcoming of something that challenges that. So over time you figure out who is who and respond accordingly. If Suzy is the type that wants validation of her position and I disagree with her, then chances are I don't respond with an opposing view because it doesn't serve my purposes on being on the board. And I think lots of people operate that way.

Hannah's UO thread was a good example of lots of people remaining silent when their opinion didn't match the majority. I *THINK* it was Vbmeg who said there were plenty of women who chose not to participate in that thread because their political views were different than the majority of posters in that thread. I understand why those women chose not to post. What's the point? Why argue with virtual strangers? Why argue with your online girlfriends? I think many women come to this board for companionship, entertainment, and camaraderie. Why fvck that up by getting into it with those online buddies? It doesn't help them gain what they are looking for on the board.

I would like to explain myself better but I am getting awfully tired and I have started to ramble.

Lyons_in_2007 · September 2010

Moesten:
No, no I know you weren't proposing a "What do we think of so and so" party. I get that you are asking if people want honest opinions or not in regards to the questions they post. But I think one learns people's intent and desires by watching the board long enough. I think it's similar to what Kristen was saying before about learning the lay of the land. Some people want an honest opinion, others want validation of their feelings or perspective and are pretty unwelcoming of something that challenges that. So over time you figure out who is who and respond accordingly. If Suzy is the type that wants validation of her position and I disagree with her, then chances are I don't respond with an opposing view because it doesn't serve my purposes on being on the board. And I think lots of people operate that way.
Hannah's UO thread was a good example of lots of people remaining silent when their opinion didn't match the majority. I *THINK* it was Vbmeg who said there were plenty of women who chose not to participate in that thread because their political views were different than the majority of posters in that thread. I understand why those women chose not to post. What's the point? Why argue with virtual strangers? Why argue with your online girlfriends? I think many women come to this board for companionship, entertainment, and camaraderie. Why fvck that up by getting into it with those online buddies? It doesn't help them gain what they are looking for on the board.
I would like to explain myself better but I am getting awfully tired and I have started to ramble.

Gotcha, I totally read what you are saying now. I'm insomniac and hormonal, so you don't have to explain exhaustion related rambling to me. Stick out tongue

mrs.george2be04 · September 2010

Moesten:

What would be the point of these honest opinions? I would have to ask myself would it serve my purpose on this board? I came to this board to have a sounding board when I was pregnant and had lots of questions, to learn from other parents, and to perhaps find playmates for my child and friends myself. So my behavior on this board should, ultimately, help me achieve those goals. As it is I am openly disliked by the majority of users of this board. Throwing manners and tact to the wind and voicing every opinion I have as I have them certainly isn't going to help me accomplish the goals I have in being here. Ergo, I don't feel the need to give voice to every opinion I have on topics that come up.

Really?? Say it isn't so. I love me some Moesten logic.

For me, I feel like some of you maybe need to take a trip (just a visit!) to the national boards. I LIKE that this board is a safe haven from drama (for the most part). Also, I pretty much agree with everything cops_wife said. Wise, she is.

KristenBtobe · September 2010

Moesten is right on. And I don't get the feeling at all that you are disliked here! We may not always hold the same opinions but I truly appreciate your perspective. I know you've made me think about things from a different angle sometimes.

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