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2nd Trimester
classes & a bad day in general.
So I had my "Prepared Childbirth" classes this week. They're supposed to do exactly what they sound like: prep you for your child's birth. The first day was pretty cool - they didn't tell me much I didn't already hear on here or IRL.
The second day started awesome: massage technique, breathing strategies... and then it took a turn for the worse.
They started talking about all the complications that can happen:
the fact that you can hemorrhage (possibly to death), the baby can clamp off its umbilical cord & run on its own reserves for "only so long", the fact that even though u/s have become advanced that sometimes they still miss abnormalities, blah blah blah... pretty much all the stuff you don't really want to think about but need to acknowledge. I know there are medical procedures to help with all of these, but its still pretty crappy to think about (I'm a worrier).
And they showed the birth videos: some that went well, and some that went, er, less than well.
I'm aware that yea, things don't always go well and that you should be prepared... but for some reason this HUGE gush of "holy-crap-I-can't-believe-that'll-be-me-in-a-few-months" feeling just came over me in the middle of class.
OK, so no biggie, I got over it while in class. But there's still this nagging in the back of my head saying "all that stuff can go wrong... are you really prepared for this? what if something happens?"
So if that's not enough of a bummer for last night - we get out of class and my MIL calls DH to see how they went. He proceeded to tell her all he learned and that he "feels better about my decision to breastfeed the baby"
MIL's two cents: "OH well tell her that she better not count on it, because I couldn't do it and a lot of women can't do it... so tell her not to get her hopes up. She probably won't be able to stick to it, if she can even get her supply to come in."
I hate people. I was unnerved to begin with, and this made me just plain miserable.
Thanks for letting me vent.
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Re: classes & a bad day in general.
In regaurd to the birth class... yes it can be unnerving but you just have to be confident about your doctor and have faith that it will be ok
As for the MIL's comment... some people are so upset and embarrassed that they couldn't do it that they make it seem like every women has these problems. There are so many stories of successful breast feeding ( like mine) especially if you have a good support group.
Some people actually DO have problems bf'ing... BUT a huge number of the people who say negative stuff like this are saying it to make themselves feel better about their descisions. Most people are fully capable of bf'ing, otherwise humans wouldn't exist, KWIM? Don't get discouraged, ignore her!
Thanks... She's always like that. I know she may have meant well, but the way she said it was less-than-graceful. Not to mention I literally just came to the decision to do it a few days ago (after months of contemplation).
Just frustrating... ya know?
haha, that's a good way to look at it. I'm very vindictive, so that made me smile
I start my classes next week and I am prepared to be unnerved, but it is information that you need to be aware of. I don't want to hear about what can go wrong, but I can't just go through this process without being aware of problems, signs and complications.
As for you MIL, to but it bluntly, needs to STFU. It's your body, your baby, your family, your decision. Just because she had issues does not mean you'll have the same problems. Besides, there are tons of lacation support out there now compared to what was available in her day.
You MIL just sounds like a buzzkillington and if she's on you about BF'ing, she'll have a lot more unsolicited feedback to say once the baby gets here. Stand your ground and make sure that DH is on board to stand right by you.
5lbs 9 oz, 18.5 inches long
6 months: 16lbs 15 oz, 27 inches long
you have no idea!! she was saying things like "although u/s are very accurate now, babies have been know to come out with an extra finger here and there, or maybe a shortened arm b/c the umbilical cord was wrapped around it and cut off circulation." I'm paraphrasing, but that is almost word-for-word.
Then she called them "little unpleasant surprises." WTF?! that's not the term I would pick. She was so nonchalant about it, too, like "it happens all the time, don't worry"(not a direct quote).
OMG! That's crazy!!! Keep in mind that the classes offered through the hospital are going to have an element of CYA (cover your @$$) to them. Just keep that in mind. :-) I'm a huge fan of Ina May Gaskins book Ina May's Guide to Childbirth partly just because of the AWESOME birth stories that she includes! I'd highly recommend it as a little conterbalance to your experience with the class! It's very pro-natural childbirth but don't let that stop you if that's not your thing. The stories are extremely positive and uplifting and encouraging no matter what your views on childbirth are.
yea, I was thinking about the CYA element the whole time - especially the parts like "complications can arise that are highlighted in the consent forms" lol.
Thanks for the book recommendation! I'll check it out for sure!
Oh my god, now I'm dreading my birth classes! I knew they were going to go through the blood and gore but please, pregnant women are stressed and worried enough!!! If complications happen, can't we just deal with them when we have to instead of going through every little thing that might possibly go wrong???