Attachment Parenting

Oh FIL....shut your trap!

Sorry for the rant but I'm annoyed!

My FIL drives me nuts! He doesn't agree with about 90% of my parenting ways but his biggest issue is EBF. He believes that it is fine (good even) for the first three months...but that after that it isn't healthy and baby should be on a mixture of formula & solid foods. He is even against rice cereal & purees....he believes you should just take your food, mash it a little with a fork, and feed it to LO. They can gum it! He loves to tell about how DH & his brothers loved roasted chicken & pizza at this age! Zip it!

I got annoyed a few weeks ago & made DH have a talk with his dad (basically telling him to shut-up about my BF). I thought it had worked but FIL found another way to get his point across! Last night he came over & kept talking about DDs hair and how pretty growing hair is a sign of good health & nutrition. I was actually feeling pretty good until a few minutes later when he casually starts talking about how it is weird that DDs hair hasn't grown at all since birth (not true). He kept talking about it & I knew he was trying to say that she isn't getting enough nutrition through BM....without really saying it! Grrrrrrrr!!!! He drives me mental!

The cherry on top to all of this is that him & my MIL are moving to the city & bought the condo 2 floors below us!! They move in next week!!! DH & I are both NOT happy about this idea (we didn't know until after the offer had been accepted!). So until we move to TX in the spring my ILs will be living 50 yards away. The thought of being snowed in with them all winter is bringing me to tears! I really hope I survive. Crying   (and no it will not be great having "help" or free childcare here.....they are not allowed to be alone with DD due to them not respecting our parenting wishes...something that we have easily gotten away with when they lived 2.5hrs away....now it is going to be drama!)

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Re: Oh FIL....shut your trap!


  • Oh.. my.
     
    This almost sounds like a bad sitcom. I'm so sorry, sweetie! It would be bad enough when it's on visits, but now with moving so close? Wow. Hmn.. Better start meditating now? At least you're moving soon-ish? 
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  • OMG, I would freak if my ILs moved that close.

    He'd probably think I was REALLY starving my baby, b/c most of his hair has fallen out since birth.

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  • I'd make sure my door stayed locked... That's so rude of him! Has he never seen the new formula commercials stating that breastmilk is best or is he just a know-it-all? I'm sorry you're gonna be stuck that close to them until spring. I'd go crazy if my ILs were any closer (they're 10 miles from us and used to drop by unannounced at all hours until we laid down the law). Good luck!!
  • Oh nooo!!  Good luck, I'd go crazy!
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  • People get really bizarre notions in their heads about health and childcare and simply will not listen to reason.  That really sucks that your FIL is so passive aggressive...it can be easier to argue with straight out aggressive people.  Also, that is really rude of them to buy a condo in your building without consulting you.  Did they think it would be some great surprise?  I have a great relationship with my parents, but I would think twice about living that close and so would they.
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  • Oh FIL!  He needs to shut his trap and since they are moving close I would have your DH lay down the law!

    I was in a similar situation MIL says DS is too skinny, 20 lbs 31 in, 1 year. She shoves bread and potatoes at him to "fatten him up", she says he's developing slow walking skills because I BW too much and that DH and I will never become pregnant while I still BF O.  

    DH had to tell her to stop with the skinny and everything else and realise that in Romania (where she is from) babies are given table food at 2 months (in most cases).  O is BF and didn't start solids till 6months.   BWing is good for him and I'll get pregnant if the time is right for my body.  We threatened to not let her see DS if she was going to be so super negative about our parenting styles.  It worked like a charm and she hasn't said a word since:)

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  • We live in Texas! DFW area. Anyways... that is annoying. Could you show him a study or is he the type that just won' listen? It may be worse now that he is being passive aggressive!
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  • Okay I will stop complaining about my MIL coming to visit for the weekend.  At least she lives in AZ while we live in NE and at least my FIL was too selfish with his time to come visit!  I understand how you feel though, especially about not leaving your DD alone with them.  My MIL asked to watch DD while I'm at work tomorrow and I said absolutely not!
  • Oh goodness, I am so sorry! We have a similar situation going on with our IL's wanting us to let DS CIO. Ugh. Have you tried telling him your doc says EBF is best? Sometimes it helps to refer to the experts. Hope it gets better soon! BTW, what part of Chicago are you in? I'm in wrigleyville.
  • Would they be open to reading information? If you got them pamphlets from your pedi's office or articles from the internet?
  • I so feel your pain. My FIL moved in with us due to his deteriorating health and I HATE it for so many reasons, one being the unwelcomed opinions about LO. I really have no advice, as for me it is a daily battle! However, mark the day you move on your calender and have a party when you guys move! One thing is, even though he is your DH's dad, eventually you will not be able to stand it anymore and you will stand up to him.... it took months of me being fed up to be the one who talks to him now. It doesn't necessarily make him shut the heck up though, argh, ILs!
  • Oh no!!  Buy extra locks for your door and get down here quick!!!
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  • What an idiot.  Tell him his parenting ideas from the 50's no longer hold up to current research and thinking and then hand him a stack of information about breastfeeding.  What a douche.
  • That sucks, but I think you can now mount an anonymous campaign in which you stick breastfeeding pamphlets under their door, ring the doorbell and run :D  Maybe some ones about safe guidelines for feeding babies as well.
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