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3rd Trimester
ashleywebber
member
"Having a C-Section is Cheating"
ashleywebber
member
"Having a c-section is cheating." - That's what DH's cousin said about 5 times during my shower yesterday. Let me preface by saying that my mother-in-law had just announced that my scheduled c-section is October 22nd (38 weeks). I am having twins and had a c-section with DS after a 26 hour labor and not progressing past 5 cm, so this is a decision that I've prayed over and believe is right for me. I think each person should do what they feel is right for them and their baby/family.
What are your thoughts on this? I personally thought it was a really offensive thing to say, especially with other moms in the room (who may or may not have had a c-section) and the guest of honor who is having a c-section in less than 6 weeks. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to start something, but I love the Bump because it's nice to see what others think or would have said.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: "Having a C-Section is Cheating"
Yep. Go so far as to say fcuking moron.
Yes, major abdominal surgery when vaginal delivery is contraindicated is "cheating."
...
His cousin is an idiot.
don't mind her! she was probably just trying to steal some of your attention. I'd probably have smacked her if I was you.
I agree with you. I hate when people push their opinions on child birth. I was talking to 2 old friends of mine at my shower about how I plan on having a pain-med free birth and they both freaked out and starting telling me how bad labor and delivery hurts (yeah, no *** it hurts!), and to just get the epidural. Telling me that I don't need to be a hero, and that nobody will be impressed if I go natural. Hello people!, I'm not doing this to brag about it, its the way I want to do it for myself and my baby.
I had a c/s with my DD because she got stuck and wouldn't descend. I am having a scheduled one this time because my dr and I both think it's best.
Edit: My LO is also breech...so that is part of the decision as well.
my read shelf:
I concur that DH's cousin is a moron.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Obviously his cousin is either uninformed or misinformed, because she's wrong. If I were in your place I'd be gently enlightening some people. You are a patient woman and I admire you for it!
Everyone has an opinion, and obviously she wasnt shy to share it with you. Just remember, your body, your babies, you can do whatever you want!!
Many women have c sections EVERY day!! If it is what you want, then it is the right choice!!
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Best of luck!
)
I am in the cousin is a moron camp. Who says that at someone's baby shower.
Really? Cause that was why I am going to resist getting an epidural for as long as I can, cause it was supposed to be a race or competition!!! Lol. People are so stupid and inconsiderate sometimes. As for YHs cousin, fvcking moron covers it.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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I think that your H's cousin is an idiot. Why didn't you ask her how to please explain to all of your shower guests 'just why c-sections are cheating'?
Also, sorry about this, but why in the bloody hell did your MIL announce news that was YOURS to share if you saw fit?
What a douche. Your need or choice to have a c-section is yours and your H's. And your guys' alone. Nobody else has a right to tell you what THEY think you should do.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that everyone else there was thinking how moronic she was. If no one said anything to her, it's probably because it's easier to ignore an idiot than to try to reason with it!!
I hope your shower was fun otherwise though.
I'm also in the cousin is a moron camp.
That being said, I do side-eye those who opt to have c-sections which are not medically necessary. Not because I think they are cheating though! I have more of an opposite view...why the heck would you put your body though a major surgery for no reason at all.
Pre-e w/DD #1 -- now age four! GD and PIH w/DD#2 -- now age two! GD and unexplained third trimester bleeding with baby # 3 -- due Feb 27!
This!!!!
People say the most idiotic things.
Maybe "moron" is a strong word, but something similar, yes. She seems uneducated. A "c-section" is there for women who CAN'T birth naturally. If it were cheating (LOL) they would fine you and your doctor for choosing to do it this way. Doctor's choose to do it this way because natural/induction fails, and it is what is best for the baby/mother.
I am glad to know I wasn't the only one who thought it was out of line and really rude. I sort of wish I would have said, "Why is having a c-section cheating?" I think I was more frustrated that I didn't say anything. I just was dumbfounded that someone would be so outspoken and rude especially in the presence of the person they are insulting.
I thought of a million things I could have said:
"So would you say that to a woman whose baby is breech and it would be life-threatening to their baby and them?"
"So would you say that to a woman whose baby got stuck and they had no other option?"
"So would you say that to a woman who physically cannot push her babies out?"
"So would you say that to a woman who has multiples and the doctor highly recommends she have one?" (Oh wait, that's me)
"So would you say that to a woman who already had one due to previous questions and the doctor highly recommends she have one?" (On wait, me again)
"So it's cheating to have your stomach cut open, stitched up, and struggle to walk for 2 weeks?" (I am not saying that it is any worse than a vaginal because I can't compare and even if I could everyone's delivery is different)
"Is it cheating to use an epidural, stadol, demerol, or even pitocin?"
As you can tell, it's probably good I didn't say anything. I have been annoyed about it since yesterday. I guess it's better to vent here than to go off on someone (especially a family member) at an otherwise lovely baby shower.
PS I didn't care that MIL told everyone. It was just her family there and it's not something I care if people know (just care that people rudely comment on I guess).
Hmmm, I think it fits pretty well.
I have no qualms with "educating" people who say such things, and I spare no graphic detail, either.. in the interest of education, of course.
"Yes, I'm having a scheduled C/S."
"That's cheating!"
"Really? Let me explain why...I have severe anal trauma."
"Oh I didn't....."
"No no.. let me help you understand... It's probably because my ex-husband raped me at one point, but I've been subject to anal fissues for the last 10 years. They feel like someone has heated up a pair of vice grips to red-hot hotness and then they grab your rectal sphincter with them and twist. The pain lasts all day, and last time, it took me three months to be able to walk and sit normally. And that was from just from being in a rush from pooping. On top of that I have really bad internal hemmies that cause me to bleed as though I'm peeing out my a$$, but it's blood, not pee. It doesn't happen every day, but when it does... phew.. Let me tell you. I haven't worn white pants in about 5 years, just as a precaution. That's OK. White makes my butt look big.
Anyway, I live my life on a tightrope, where missing a dose of metamucil or not exercising dailing puts me on the path to another flare-up. Sure, I could have surgery for the fissures, but since that involves making cuts in the anal sphincter muscle, it carries the risk of fecal incontinence,which is irreversible. There's no risk associated with living carefully.
Soooo.. when my doctor saw my history and knew the demands of a new baby and the pain I suffer when that region of my body gets harassed, she recommended I might want to consider a C/S so that I could actually take care of my baby instead of curling up on the couch and wishing for death, which is what happened last time.
I mean, if that's cheating to you, then I guess I'm a cheater. My anus thinks otherwise."
Then I cheated majorly for my "exam"!
But I look at my labor and think "How many women can say they were induced with Cytotec and pitocin, go thru 17 hours of labor unmedicated before getting an epidural, get fully dilated and push, have forceps used to try help the baby descend before the doctor says it's time for a c-section because you have been doing this for 25+ hours and the baby's not handling labor well anymore?" Oh, and in the operating room you find out your baby has a true knot in her umbilical cord and that her cord is wrapped around her body 3 times which is what kept her from coming down? Sorry, but I'll take my c-section any day of the week and "cheat" than have the alternative.
Words can't even describe what I think about that statement!
She actually does have kids. She has a 19 and 21 year old (21 year old is pregnant now). She just says whatever she feels like (she doesn't have a filter apparantly).
She also commented on how I was cutting the cake. I pulled off the tasteless fondant before serving and she went on and on about how "You can eat fondant." No one but her and her family wanted it. I told them they could still have some or I could cut them a piece with fondant on it. She probably said that about 10 times including when I was individually boxing up pieces for people to take home.
She whispered to her 19 year old daughter (whom I was sitting by) that our Wii didn't have the case or base or whatever and that she wouldn't want one without that. MYOB!!!
She commented about how after I have the babies my house will never be organized like it is now. I have a 4 1/2 year old and DH and I both strive to keep a neat and organized home and even with DS we've kept it like that (not to show off, but because we love it that way).
She drove me nuts, but her c-section comment was the worst.
I think I would have smacked her upside the head and told her to get the hell out! But that's my opinion of stupid people who are clueless. Does she even have kids or was she just speaking from her a$$?
Sorry you had to deal with this on what was suppose to be your day! Don't let her near the babies when the come...hahaha!
IMO i thought moron was being nice to her! what a douchebag! tell her to recovery from major surgery and see how she feels about it being "cheating" then. speaking from 2 previous c sections..there is no cheating about it! i took offence to this. give her a slap for me please.
i guess I am cheating.. But cheating what..? I had a section with DS and will this time.. I cheat not having labor for hours. Not tearing my vagina in half.. Not risking blowing a disk in my back so I loose feeling in my legs and may never walk again..?
hmm. I will take that and have my section!!! Thank you very much..
that is like saying, if you have a c-section you are not a real mom..
I think that because C sections are more common these days that some people seem to think that having one is no big deal. It is! But for some reason people some people seem think that it is the easy way out, when you consider it is surgery and the recovery time I have no idea why. On a side note even if she does feel that way why does she need to express it?
clearly she hasn't had a c-section. Anyone who has would agree-theres no cheating! it brings it's own special pain just like a vaginal delivery does. Either way-the most important thing is having a healthy baby and mommy at the end of the delivery no matter what way it happens.