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Infertility
Wrong to plan a nursery before pregnant?
So I am big planner. I started buying stuff for my wedding as soon as we got engaged even though we didn't get married until 4 years later. By doing this the cost was spread out over a long period of time making it seem like less of a financial burden and also left us with very little debt in the end as well.
So my question is: Would it be wrong, if I know what kind of nursery I want, to start buying small things for it now?
(If this question is inappropriate to ask here I am sorry, just let me know and I'll take it down.)
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Re: Wrong to plan a nursery before pregnant?
I don't think it could be defined as wrong to do what you want with your life and your money. If it helps you to feel like this is the one part of TTC that you can control, then go for it.
Personally, I could never do it. I was the same way with my wedding. I bought things and then re-bought them when the next season came around and there were new things to like, or the next Martha magazine came out with some new idea that replaced the old one. I also have that urge to be sentimental over objects and were I ever to suffer a m/c I would feel that the items belonged to my lost child. I don't know that I could handle that. But that's just me...
Owen Matthew 11/1/2009 4lbs 10oz 16.5in
Born 5 weeks early by C/S | Severe Pre-Eclampsia
BFP #2 5/1/2011 | M/C @ 7 weeks | D&C 5/25/2011
TTC #2 | HSG Clear | SA 2% Morph otherwise great
3 failed Femara/TI cycles moving on to IUI
Personally, I'm big on superstition and would never plan a nursery until I am like 25 weeks (at least!) pregnant. Of course, I have ideas in my head...but would never buy anything until later in the pregnancy.
I know others who have bought lots of stuff prior to getting pregnant though.
Personally, I'm big on superstition and would never plan a nursery until I am like 25 weeks (at least!) pregnant. Of course, I have ideas in my head...but would never buy anything until later in the pregnancy.
I know others who have bought lots of stuff prior to getting pregnant though.
I couldn't do it.
What if you don't get pregnant right away?
I can't imagine walking past an empty nursery everyday. It would make me want to hurl myself off a bridge.
Ask your self this. IF it should never happen or take 2 plus years longer then you imagine... how would you feel having a room all dressed up for baby.
We all would love our first clomid cycle to work, but reality is it doesn't always. So for me personally, I would want as little as possible of reminders of what could have been.
Also, tastes change. I remember 6 years ago, when we first started ttc, how I would have dreamed my baby room to look. Today it is totally different, plus some things that have come out since really caught my eye.
Just some food for thought. Everyone is different if YOU can live with it, go for it.
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
I would remain positive that you will be a mom so do what is in your heart. Even if it is thru adoption, takes a long time what ever...
Personally I have bought nothing and even still have the "room" set up as a guest room. I have friends who have held on to things for me from their pregnancies but they have them, not me. I would def not put that stuff in my house.
What I did do is clean the "room" out of any extra junk. So when the day comes its going to be much easier to just clear out the bed and chair.
Ditto. DH's family has a cradle and crib and variety of other things from SIL's girls that are being saved for us, I refused to have them in my house. I don't know when or IF I will get pregnant, and I don't need another reminder to make me bitter. But if it won't bother you, than sure, go ahead. Spreading the cost would be nice.
You aren't the only plan-ahead person.
I've been researching like mad since our IVF cycle has been delayed (again) to April/May. It's the ONLY thing I have any control over.
I fear I may have all the items picked out (but not purchased) by then at the rate I'm going.
Personally, I wouldn't. After having a m/c, if I ever do get pg again I would probably wait even longer than I might have before. I'm also not a shopper at ALL.
But like pp said, do what you feel is right in your heart.
Good luck and I hope you are pg very soon!
I made a rule that I would NOT buy anything for a baby until I was actually pregnant. I have had my crib and bedding picked out for quite some time, though, and I recently encountered a problem. My bedding was discontinued last fall. I was in an absolute panic when I found out and went about the process of finding the pieces online. I was successful, so I broke my no baby items rule. I have my dream baby bedding, and it will wait for my dream baby to arrive.
Some people advised against the purchase citing disappointment factors, but I found that the opposite happened. Buying the bedding made me feel hopeful for the first time in a really long time. I'd much rather feel positive and hopeful than succumb to my horribly negative frame of mind again. The road ahead may or may not be tough, but I am confident that I will be a mommy someday. Buying the bedding made me feel like I was willing this to happen rather than admitting to defeat.
The decision is entirely up to you!
I think after being at this for as many years as I have, I've gotten beyond the pain a little bit. Seeing other's babies and baby items bother me, but things in my own home for our future children (whether in 9 months or several years) do not. They give me hope.
Go ahead...plan away :-) as my husband said: "if you build it, they will come"
I am worried about how difficult it will be on you emotionally. On the one hand, perhaps by buying baby stuff you will continue to stay focused on your goals. On the other hand, dealing with set-backs might be that much more difficult.
In this case, the cost reasoning doesn't work. This is why God created savings accounts. If you are worried about having the money when the time comes than start putting some aside in the bank now.
As far as asking this question on this board, I seriously doubt that any one of us could say that we weren't, at one time or another, tempted to buy something for baby. That being said, I don't think many (if any) of us have done what you are talking about. It doesn't hurt to ask though.
I am worried about how difficult it will be on you emotionally. On the one hand, perhaps by buying baby stuff you will continue to stay focused on your goals. On the other hand, dealing with set-backs might be that much more difficult.
In this case, the cost reasoning doesn't work. This is why God created savings accounts. If you are worried about having the money when the time comes than start putting some aside in the bank now.
My Irish roots came with a healthy dose of superstition. I will not be buying any baby stuff at all until after 1st trimester. I'm just not messing with that kind of ju-ju.
As far as asking this question on this board, I seriously doubt that any one of us could say that we weren't, at one time or another, tempted to buy something for baby. That being said, I don't think many (if any) of us have done what you are talking about. It doesn't hurt to ask though.