Anyone else here lose their Mom and miss their support?

FutureMoutoux · September 2010

A little background: My Mom was my very best friend. I told her everything and we had a great relationship. In 2005 she passed away from a malignant brain tumor. My Mom was a wonderful person and left us too soon. She was 43 years old. At the time, I was 22. My Father remarried within 6 months and sold our house, etc. It was a very hard time in my life.

Fast forward. I have my Husband who is my best friend and really my rock. I do however, very, very much miss the love and support of my Mom throughout life. I wish that she was here to talk to about simple every day things as well as our IF journey too.

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat?

patchen30 · September 2010

I'm sorry sweetie ((hugs)). I haven't lost my mom, thank God, but she is my best friend like you describe. I miss her when I go a few days w/o talking to her and I always think of little things I want to share w/ her and I definitely always need her support. So I can maybe imagine how you might feel. My mom lost her mom when she was young though and says she never stopped missing her and no matter how old you are you still need your mom. Life is unfair. I think she's watching over you during this time in your life ((hugs again)).

vanessagorc · September 2010

I have not lost my mother either, but I did lose my father at 22. He was 49. I was very close with him, and i understand your feelings.

IF is a little tricky, I wouldn't call him to report on my ultasounds etc...BUT it makes me sad that he can't share this journey with me, he never met DH, couldn't walk me down the aisle at my wedding, and will never meet a grandchild.

This is a tough road, and these type of losses feel raw all over again. I'm sorry, and good luck with everything.

whispergrrl · September 2010

vanessagorc:
I have not lost my mother either, but I did lose my father at 22. He was 49. I was very close with him, and i understand your feelings.
IF is a little tricky, I wouldn't call him to report on my ultasounds etc...BUT it makes me sad that he can't share this journey with me, he never met DH, couldn't walk me down the aisle at my wedding, and will never meet a grandchild.
This is a tough road, and these type of losses feel raw all over again. I'm sorry, and good luck with everything.

This exactly. I lost my dad when I was almost 22 (3 months before my birthday), he was almost 52. My wedding was very tough without him, and thinking about having kids that will never know him is tough. You never really get over losing a parent...it gets easier with time, but those big life events make you revisit the grief of the loss.

*sending hugs*

BlissEverAfter · September 2010

Hello~ I lost my dear wonderful mom quite suddenly at the beginning of the year and it has been extremely hard!! If you want to talk please feel free to pm me, I will listen to anything you may want/need to talk about and share my story with you! Sometimes it helps tremendously to talk to someone well, as you put it in the same boat!! (((HUGS)))

inlove731 · September 2010

Thankfully, I haven't lost a parent. I am so sorry that you have to endure that loss through all of this. I'm thinking about you...

MyShellyBelly · September 2010

I'm not in the same exact boat, but I lost my grandma in 2004. I'm close with everybody in my family, but she and I had a very special bond and I miss her every single day. I talk to a photo I have of her when I have something to share with her. I'm sorry you lost your mom at such a young age. (((hugs)))

FutureMoutoux · September 2010

Thank you ladies! I appreciate the support. Although in some aspects it has gotten easier, when it comes to starting a family it is not. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. Sorry for all of your losses as well.

They are all watching over us!

FutureMoutoux · September 2010

BlissEverAfter:
Hello~ I lost my dear wonderful mom quite suddenly at the beginning of the year and it has been extremely hard!! If you want to talk please feel free to pm me, I will listen to anything you may want/need to talk about and share my story with you! Sometimes it helps tremendously to talk to someone well, as you put it in the same boat!! (((HUGS)))

I am sorry for your loss! Hugs back at you! Thanks for the support. You are also welcome to PM me if you ever need to talk.

Thanks!

etoyama · September 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. Big ((hugs)) to you, sweetie.

madelyn07 · September 2010

I'm sorry for your loss, sweetie.

My mom passed away when I was 16. She had non-smoking lung cancer, which she battled for 6 years prior to losing her life.

I would give anything to have her in my life...to support me in this journey but also just because she was an incredible woman and I miss her more than I can ever express.

ligots · September 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. IF is hard enough to deal with but without your mother I can't imagine. Big ((Hugs)) to you.

oboediva31 · September 2010

I'm in the same boat. I lost my father when I was 9 and my mother when I was 24. I can totally relate to the father thing....within 2 months my step father was having women he met on the internet calling our house...my mother's house.

It always makes me sad to think my children won't have grandparents.

DH lost his father 3 years ago and his mother is the most awful thing on the planet and I wouldn't want her near my children

MegW21 · September 2010

My mom died of breast cancer when I was 22 as well (I'm 24 now). Honestly, she struggled with cancer for five years, and towards the end she was so sick that it was extremely painful to be with her. Two years later, I feel like I still don't really remember what she was like before she was so sick/medicated. It's hard to imagine how she would have been about our infertility. She probably would have been the kind of mom who's always researching options and telling us what we should do....

I'm sorry for your loss. It's hard to lose somebody, and it sounds like your father's remarriage and loosing your home was hard as well. I hope you can find other people to offer you the support you're missing from her.

FutureMoutoux · September 2010

Thank you so much, each of you for your very comforting replies. I am so sorry for the losses that each of you have suffered!

I appreciate the support that I get here! :-)

Night, Ladies!

FutureMoutoux · September 2010

MegW21:
My mom died of breast cancer when I was 22 as well (I'm 24 now). Honestly, she struggled with cancer for five years, and towards the end she was so sick that it was extremely painful to be with her. Two years later, I feel like I still don't really remember what she was like before she was so sick/medicated. It's hard to imagine how she would have been about our infertility. She probably would have been the kind of mom who's always researching options and telling us what we should do....
I'm sorry for your loss. It's hard to lose somebody, and it sounds like your father's remarriage and loosing your home was hard as well. I hope you can find other people to offer you the support you're missing from her.

can relate. It took me a while to remember my Mom prior to being sick. Sometimes I forget how her voice sounded or things like that. I am so sorry that you have to deal with the loss too. It does manage to get bit easier with time to remember all the good times.

(((((Hugs)))))

FutureMoutoux · September 2010

madelyn07:
I'm sorry for your loss, sweetie.
My mom passed away when I was 16. She had non-smoking lung cancer, which she battled for 6 years prior to losing her life.
I would give anything to have her in my life...to support me in this journey but also just because she was an incredible woman and I miss her more than I can ever express.

I am so sorry! I know what you mean. The void is never filled!

(((((HUGS))))))

FutureMoutoux · September 2010

oboediva31:
I'm in the same boat. I lost my father when I was 9 and my mother when I was 24. I can totally relate to the father thing....within 2 months my step father was having women he met on the internet calling our house...my mother's house.
It always makes me sad to think my children won't have grandparents.
DH lost his father 3 years ago and his mother is the most awful thing on the planet and I wouldn't want her near my children

I am so sorry for both loses. My DH's Mom passed away the year before my Mom. It is a sad thought that my children will not have grandparents too. DH's father is not in the greatest of health, and I do not have a healthy relationship with my Father. It is hard, but having wonderful parents has to count for something! :-) We have good family friends who are like parents to us. It is not exactly the same, but I know that they will love our children like they are family.

(((Hugs))))

missred75 · September 2010

First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my father when I was 19. While I haven't exactly lost my mother, in a way I have. She has Alzheimer's, so she is definitely not the same woman she was. I can't share any of this journey with her because she just doesn't function on that level. I know that I'm very blessed to still have her, but it is so hard because I really miss the woman who was my mom.

oboediva31 · September 2010

FutureMoutoux:
oboediva31:
I'm in the same boat. I lost my father when I was 9 and my mother when I was 24. I can totally relate to the father thing....within 2 months my step father was having women he met on the internet calling our house...my mother's house.
It always makes me sad to think my children won't have grandparents.
DH lost his father 3 years ago and his mother is the most awful thing on the planet and I wouldn't want her near my children
I am so sorry for both loses. My DH's Mom passed away the year before my Mom. It is a sad thought that my children will not have grandparents too. DH's father is not in the greatest of health, and I do not have a healthy relationship with my Father. It is hard, but having wonderful parents has to count for something! :-) We have good family friends who are like parents to us. It is not exactly the same, but I know that they will love our children like they are family.
(((Hugs))))

That's the same thing I tell my DH all the time. My mom's best friend from childhood lives 4 blocks away from us and has always been like a second mother to me. I think she's more of a mom to DH then his own mother.

There's more to being family than blood. I just try to remember what great parents my mom and dad were to my sister and me.

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