Would you do it?

sarahmae8 · September 2010

A friend of mine asked me to be a surrogate for her and her partner. She had complications with her second daughter several years ago and had to have her uterus removed. She still has her left ovary so it would be his sperm and her egg. They will pay me well and take care of the medical costs, but that is not why I would be doing it. She's a really good friend of mine and it's something I have thought about doing, but would only do for a friend.

I'm just curious if any of you would or have done this and what your thoughts are. No one's opinion will offend me so tell it to me straight.

Thanks!

sleepingbeauty825 · September 2010

I really don't know that I'd be able to. I'd like to say "Yes of course!" but it's not as simple as that.

wpowell · September 2010

I think I would. I had a pretty easy pregnancy. I think as long as I went into with the attitude that this baby isnt mine then it would all be fine.

What does your DH/SO think?

FutureMrsNAH · September 2010

I would want to help and loved being pregnant but did not like the tearing and long recovery I had. That's partly why I'm not doing it again for our family. What does your H say? And what if there are complications?

epphd · September 2010

I've sincerely offered to be a surro for a gay family member. I needed a third party (egg donor) to have Sam - for me being that third party by being a surro would feel like paying it forward. Plus, I had a great experience with pregnancy and recovery.

So yes, I would.

amandafikri · September 2010

Wow, thats a tough one! I loved being pregnant. But I loved being pregnant because I knew the reward I would get in the end.

I think if its something you can emotionaly do and you and your family are readyy for it, than I say go for it. I dont know if it is something I could personally do, although I would want to.

I mean, if its her egg and his sperm you really just lending your uterus for 9 months, if you think of it that way it dosent sound so bad. The greatest thing in the world you could probably do for you friend is give her a baby. But if i were you, just think long and hard, Which Im sure you are.

What does your family and DH think about it?

epphd · September 2010

FutureMrsNAH:
I would want to help and loved being pregnant but did not like the tearing and long recovery I had. That's partly why I'm not doing it again for our family. What does your H say? And what if there are complications?

off topic, but our LOs have the same hairdo!

gogoamy · September 2010

I probably would not do it. I had a rough recovery and only want to have to go through that again when we eventually have our second lo. Although it's not the same, I have been an egg donor in the past and that is something I would consider doing again.

sarahmae8 · September 2010

amandafikri:
Wow, thats a tough one! I loved being pregnant. But I loved being pregnant because I knew the reward I would get in the end.

I think if its something you can emotionaly do and you and your family are readyy for it, than I say go for it. I dont know if it is something I could personally do, although I would want to.

I mean, if its her egg and his sperm you really just lending your uterus for 9 months, if you think of it that way it dosent sound so bad. The greatest thing in the world you could probably do for you friend is give her a baby. But if i were you, just think long and hard, Which Im sure you are.

What does your family and DH think about it?

I have not told DH she asked me about it...it was just today and he is still working. However, I have mentioned it to him in the past and he thinks it's kind of weird so we def need to sit down and talk about it. I know this would not be something that would be happening soon, however, in the next year or two. Which is fine since we are waiting 3-4 years before we have another of our own. I also will want to have a lawyer and official paper work about all the ins and outs of everything, especially if there is a complication or I miscarried or whatever. I am super torn, which is why I am asking. I would love to do it, but I am not quite there emotionally yet.

epphd · September 2010

gogoamy:
I probably would not do it. I had a rough recovery and only want to have to go through that again when we eventually have our second lo. Although it's not the same, I have been an egg donor in the past and that is something I would consider doing again.

Sorry to keep hijacking this thread, but gogamy - thanks Egg donors are wonderful people!

BFab11 · September 2010

Probably not. I was sick in first tri (lost 15 lbs), on bed rest in second tri, and exhausted in third tri. And I had a rough recovery from L&D, so I don't think I could do it for someone else. Though I can't answer for sure unless my best friend asked. I wouldn't say no right away, but I *think* I'd have to decline in the end.

mrssamuels2b · September 2010

I think that people who can do it are great but I personally couldn't do it.

jylly · September 2010

I wouldn't do it, but only because I had a c/s and I want more children of my own, that will also be by c/s, so that would limit the number of future children I could possibly have. Otherwise I would consider it, but I still don't know if I could do it, I am afraid I would get too attached, even if it's not my genes in the baby.

Also, not to pry, but do you think it would be a good idea with everything else that is going on with your son right now? I'm gonna sound stalkerish, but I remember reading your posts about your LO being sick (I just remember you cause your LO is so cute, and I felt so bad that you didn't know what was going on with him). I haven't been on much lately, so maybe things have gotten better, but it is something to think about. You are probably under TONS of stress from that, which may not be good for you if you are pregnant. If it were me, I'd be nervous adding another big thing to my plate while already having so much to deal with. Or maybe not, who I am I to say, right?? Just something that popped into my head, that I would think about if it were me.

On the other hand, how is your LO doing? I really hope things are going better, I can't even imagine how hard it must be to have him be sick and not know quite what is wrong!

Timeg · September 2010

Some may think this is crazy, but I would do it in a heart beat! I like being pregnant, but, more importantly, I would love to be able to help someone who really wants a child.

It wouldn't be easy, to say the least, but it would probably be tone of he biggest blessings you could ever give another person.

turtlerun · September 2010

I know someone who did it and they had a laywer draw up paperwork from the beginning. The real mother was involved and attended almost all of the medical appointments and both parents were admitted to the hospital when the baby was born. The birth mom did not even see the baby as it went straight to the real mother. The real mother started taking hormones way before and even began to produce breastmilk so she could feed her baby. It really is a gift to be able to give so selflessly (is that a word?) I would do it in a heartbeat!! It would have to be a well planned process though. She and her friend even went to see a therapist during the entire process.

ilovemygirls · September 2010

I am waaaay too old now (for real), but if I was younger AND completely done having my own family I would do it for a friend/family member. I would not have considered it if I wasn't done having my own kids.

sunflowergrl · September 2010

Timeg:
Some may think this is crazy, but I would do it in a heart beat! I like being pregnant, but, more importantly, I would love to be able to help someone who really wants a child.

It wouldn't be easy, to say the least, but it would probably be tone of he biggest blessings you could ever give another person.

This is my answer exactly to a T!! :::get out of my head:::

gogoamy · September 2010

epphd:
gogoamy:
I probably would not do it. I had a rough recovery and only want to have to go through that again when we eventually have our second lo. Although it's not the same, I have been an egg donor in the past and that is something I would consider doing again.
Sorry to keep hijacking this thread, but gogamy - thanks Egg donors are wonderful people!

thanks - it was really a great experience! :-)

monj76 · September 2010

I would seriously think about it. My step-sister did it and she has never regreted it.

DEElicious18 · September 2010

As long as the egg is not mine and I was extremely close to the person/couple... Yes. This is coming from someone who hated being pregnant. However, with a LO of my own and the fact that they already have two children, I may have to think very carefully about it.

katie.i.do · September 2010

i think it's a really tough decision to make and if you feel like you are physically and emotionally able and willing to do that for your friends, i think it is a great gift you'd be giving them. I have thought about the question hypothetically many times yet i still don't definitively know whether i could do it for real.

libra31 · September 2010

I would definitely be a surrogate for a sister or close friend but the egg would have to be someone else's and I want my own family completed first. You just never know...something could happen during the pregnancy or delivery that may cause it to be your last pregnancy when you still want more kids yourself.

daisy_dueller · September 2010

I would do it in a heartbeat if it were a close friend or family member. I had a wonderful pregnancy, and perfectly healthy baby, so if I could help someone I loved out in that way, I definitely would.

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