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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
MrsPatterson
member
What do you do if LO cries when you discipline him?
MrsPatterson
member
DS is really big into hitting right now, and he loves to hit me in the face. I am very consistent with him, always saying, "No, we don't hit" and try to redirect. I generally will increase the firmness with which I say "no hitting" every time I have to say it in any one incident, and sometimes DS will start crying if I speak very firmly.
I'm unsure as to the best thing to do in this situation. My instinct is to hug and cuddle him, but whenever I do, he goes right back to hitting. I in no way expect to eliminate the hitting at this point in his life, but I don't want to send a repeated message that if he cries when I discipline him, he will essentially get away with the behavior. How do you respond if your LO cries when you discipline?
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Re: What do you do if LO cries when you discipline him?
Me too! I tell her no all the time, but I don't really think she understands it just yet.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Emma isn't in the hitting phase yet. She's in the I don't know what I want phase. Ugh, it sucks. Nothing pleased her. The swing, nope. Play time on the floor, nope. Floor gym, nope. Milk, juice, food, nope. Tried to hold her and she arched her back I nearly dropped her. Quick pop on the diaper, told her no and she cried for a minute. Right after she was Miss Happiness again. It's very rare that she's miserable. But if I am trying to find what to do for you and you're acting up, sorry missy. Not having it.
When Connor tried hitting me I would pop his hand and point my finger in his face, telling him NO. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. When it got worse, he got a pop on the butt and made to sit in the corner. Of course he was about 2 at the time. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. It was all trial and error. Redirecting, trying something new. But if the LO's cry after they've been disciplined then that's ok too. I don't let them cry beyond a few minutes. Unfortunately with LO's trying to get that point across might take different tactics till it sinks in. Good luck.
My younger DD doesn't really do this (in fact, it doesn't seem to phase her at all when I say no, which could turn out very, very badly). With my older daughter, I would rub her back and gently say again "No hitting" or whatever it was I said no to
We actually still do something similar. She always freaks out when she gets time outs. When we go get her when its over, we always sit down, explain why she had the time out and then we hug. Its definitely possible (and, IMO, a good idea) to be strict, firm AND caring with discipline.
Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
(c) Holly Aprecio Photography - Oct 2011
Same. I can't NOT snuggle him when he cries. It makes me so sad in general
I try to comfort without cuddling or holding and immediately direct to something else. Example: I say "No" and LO starts crying. I tell her it's ok in a sweet voice and then "Oooh look at this ____ over here! Let's play with that instead".
Redirection is a GREAT tool. I know its hard to not cuddle and give love to your LO if they start crying..but eventually youre going to have to be tough and stick to your decision on discipline. It can send very confusing messages to your child.