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1st Trimester
Do you believe in a baby shower for the 2nd baby?
are you having a baby shower for your #2, or no?
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Re: Do you believe in a baby shower for the 2nd baby?
I attended a shower recently for a baby #2. And baby #1 was under 2 years old, and both babies were boys.
I gave it the side-eye at first, if I'm being honest, but it was for family (the wife of DH's cousin), and so I went.
I'm not sure if I would personally have a 2nd baby shower, especially if the babies were so close in age!
No. I believe showers are to welcome the new parents to parenthood. If a parent is having a second child, they are already parents.
I believe every baby should be celebrated, which would make a "welcome home" or "welcome baby" party much more appropriate, and people are less pressured to bring gifts (they usually do anyway).
Some exceptions in my book:
Kids are several years (10+) apart, new marriage and first child for one parent, etc. There are WAY more exceptions to this but just having two babies a few years apart that are different sexes is not one of them.
Obviously the death of the previous child is an exception to the rule, no matter what the sex of the next baby is.
I just don't get how people think that showers are to celebrate the baby when the baby isn't there.
This!
I believe they happen. I also believe they are tacky.
I also wholeheartedly agree with pp that the shower is not for the baby it is for the parents to prepare for the baby.
My friend had diapers from newborn to toddler. She said that it was neat how many sizes her friends bought. But she didn't pressure them to bring presents. she also announced what they were naming the baby at the time.
Devyn was my cousin's son (more like a nephew to me). He was a twin. You can look at my threads to see the story if you don't recall, but I warn you it's not something you want to read for anything other than awareness. He knew how to swim, and still drowned in their own pool. When he passed, she was left with medical bills and associated costs, and couldn't afford clothes, a bed, etc. She didnt want the twin's old bed in the room any longer (which is understood) and didn't have much to begin with.. I gave her everything of mine. We also donated clothing and household goods to raise money at a few garage sales. SO, we will be buying everything new anyhow.
I think I will do the diaper idea. It's cute and could still be very entertaining with games.
((hugs)) I didn't read it yet but that is really sad. A friend of mine lost her daughter last year 17 days after her 2nd birthday in the same way. Awful.
That is horrible. I am so sorry to hear that. Huggs to you as well!!
I'm not a fan of showers in general- I didn't have one for my wedding or for DD. I just feel like a formal get together for me to sit there and open gifts is not my style at all.
I have opted out of 2nd showers- wedding and baby both. I think it's inappropriate for people to request a second gift if I've already given them a first. That being said I usually do buy something for them, but it's personal and on my own time and not because I received an invitation with a registry number attached.
I think that people close to you are going to want to give you and the baby something, and since you already have a LO, will probably ask what you would like/need. Something about babies make people want to head out and buy tiny little things!
Thank you for your kind words. I do think they would understand, but it still is being questioned by some around me, so I was kind of stuck on what to do about it.
To be honest, I would rather just purchase all the big stuff ourselves and let people come to get together, eat cake- but I wouldnt mind the clothes, especially if it is a girl!
I think it depends on a lot, how far apart in age the kids are, the gender, etc. My sister is having her 2nd boy and they will be about 2 years apart. We are doing a diaper shower for her - everyone is bringing diapers and she asked for 2 things: a video monitor and a double stroller. Other than that she is pretty much set. I think its appropriate, I see nothing wrong with celebrating a 2nd baby, but if it was the full thing I would probably think it was a little inappropriate.
A
The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11
DD 2.0 ~ 12/30/2013
I know what you mean. I have a friend who expects a lot from all of us and it gives me a horrible feeling. The wedding was first, and now she is pregnant too. Every day it is about who is doing what, where, and when, how. It's annoying to say the least.However, for her it's a first. Still, though.
DH's family will probably throw us a shower. DD will be 5 when the new baby comes along, and this will be DH's first bio-child (even though he has been in DD's life since before she was born). I don't really care one way or the other.
Sure I "believe" in them..it's not like Santa Claus...
I alsp don't really see a problem with them. I think all babies should be celebrated, and if someone offers to throw one, why not?
That said, I am not having a shower for this one, I don't think.
I think it is very tacky... unless there is more than 6 years between the babies.... People will give gifts if they want when the baby is born if they want to celebrate the baby.. mI do not want one and since my family does not think highly of 2nd baby showers I do not expect one.. so no worries
My cousin wants to do a shower, but I love the sprinkle idea. Very cute!
So do you think it is rude to turn down a shower being offered then? For those of you who don't agree with it..
To be honest with you, I had a baby shower for my 2nd child. My daughter was only 18 months old at the shower for my son. Although, when somebody is determined to throw you a shower, you can't exactly say no. I do not expect a shower with this child, but my husband gauranteed me it will happen because SOMEBODY in his family will throw me one. I told him it is not necessary by no means, but he insists that his first baby should have a shower.
I agree with another posting though, a baby shower isn't about showering the parents, it's totally about the baby.
An angel opened the book of life and wrote down my baby's birth, Then she whispered as she closed the book, "Too beautiful for earth." ~Unknown We lost our "Squishy" to a m/c on 10/06/2010. He/she went to heaven with my Dad and our Heavenly Father.
I'm not opposed to them, especially if they are small (even more so for children of opposite sex and a few years apart).
aCg 3.1.07 | hCr 5.5.11
Just about every mom I know had at least a diaper shower if not a full blown shower for their 2nd. I don't see anything wrong with it, especially if it's a different sex. If someone says the want to throw you a shower it's hard to say no and it's more about getting together to celebrate a new baby.
I was given 3 showers for my second baby (by three different groups of friends....neighbors, college girlfriends, and the wives of my husband's college buddies). It never occurred to me to turn them down, everyone was really excited - and it was another boy, only 18 months apart. I have happily gone to showers for each of my friend's kids, one girlfriend has 4 now. In my opinion, it is about celebrating the baby, I would totally get my friend something anyway and it's nice to have an occasion dedicated specifically to the mom/baby to give it to her and catch up.
That said, I know how much work and money goes into a shower, and since it's my third, I would definitely ask for any celebrations to be way toned-down...like let's just all go to dinner one night to celebrate. We do that a lot for 3rd, 4th babies, and it's fun and we always bring a small gift for the mom. If we happen to have a girl, I know we'll be getting a lot of pink
I agree with this!
Nope. No shower for me this time.
DD was born in 7/2009 and I was spoiled rotten with four baby showers. I wouldn't ever in a zillion years expect my friends and family to throw me another shower so soon. These babies will be 16 months apart. And while they are different sexes I think I did a pretty good job buying the big stuff (infant carseat, high chair, swing, pack 'n play, etc) in gender neutral fabrics so that we can reuse it all.
All I need are clothes and furniture. Immediate family will probably get us gifts but I don't expect anything nor do we need any help.
I think it is appropriate to celebrate all babies (meet the baby party for example) and I understand that in certain social circles it is common for women to get a shower or "sprinkle" luncheon for every baby. But I would never repeat the HUGE shower that I had with baby #1. And I would be annoyed to be invited to a shower for a second or third baby for someone that I wasn't REALLY good friends with or REALLY close family to.
See, that's how I feel. It's about the baby, no matter which # he or she is.