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Adoption
Just watched "Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Mommy"
I really liked it. Anyone else watch it? I was amazed at how acclimated she seemed to be just after a year and a half. Definitely recommend it for those interested in adopting older children.
(Was it strange to anyone else that the mom seemed so frustrated that the little girl wasn't trying hard enough to learn English on their 8th day together? I've never been in this situation before, but I was kind of thinking... ease up, lady!)
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Re: Just watched "Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Mommy"
I did not like the mother making her daughter learn English words when they were together in China. She was getting so annoyed that the little girl wouldn't say pizza & bagel...who gives a crap. That little girl needs time to adjust to her new life and you expect her to learn those two words within days of meeting her? Umm..unreal. I didn't see the mother learn any Chinese even if there were small words just so she's making an effort to learn the little girl's language. Also I didn't like that she expected Faith to adjust to living in the US immediately once they arrived home. She needed time to grieve. It's hard for a child of that age to be ripped from what she knows into some foreign land.
I acted very similiar when Faith got annoyed by her family. It was like looking in a mirror. I don't have any memory speaking Korean only Omma (mother).
The transformation of being in the US was amazing to the point she could hardly speak Chinese.
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I also noticed that the only effort the adoptive family was making to maintain her Chinese language skills was enrolling her in occasional Mandarin classes in the USA. The girl did speak both Cantonese and Mandarin, but said at one point during the film that she spoke Cantonese much better (I assume Cantonese was her native language). I guess it might be harder to find opportunities for her to be around native Cantonese speakers, or attend Cantonese classes, depending on the area the family lives in... but still, Mandarin wasn't this girl's native language.
I think that overall, the adoptive family was well-intentioned, but they did several things that I really questioned -- like the English flashcards, the limo at the airport, etc.
I didn't see the movie, so I don't know how overboard the family was with the language drilling, but I wanted to offer my perspective.
When we met M, I had taken Spanish classes, and could navigate enough to travel in a Spanish-speaking country. My husband also tried, but spoke less Spanish then me. M knew about 4 phrases in English. The first few days we were together without someone to facilitate the language were HARD.
We did try to teach M some basic English, and did use flashcards. He always let us know when he was done with it, and we never showed frustration about his not being about to communicate in English.
But we were all frustrated when we wanted to convey something to one another and couldn't. The only times I saw M sad those first few days was when we couldn't understand him. I can't imagine what it would be like trying to adopt an "older" child without knowing any of his/her language. I often think that we were woefully unprepared for how hard that part was. Everyone, including everyone associated with the process (except for one Peruvian social worker) kept telling us not to worry about it and that he would learn and adapt quickly, so it wouldn't be an issue. When we returned to the US, one of the first things I told our case worker when she asked if I had any advice for future families was that they should make sure families do there best to work on the language.
What I'm trying to say is that while it sounds like this particular mother went way overboard with her "lessons," I can understand how important it must have seemed to her in the moment that the girl learn English as soon as possible.
CaptianSerious.... I thought of you the entire time I watched this show! The little girl was about M's age, maybe a little younger. I kept thinking of how challenging it would be to adopt an older child who didn't speak the language. It really was remarkable to watch the transformation. See if you can find the show online somewhere, or maybe they will rebroadcast it. I think you'd enjoy it.