Carseat/friend issue.

Noelle2375 · September 2010

I am friends with this girl. We are not close, we just ride the bus together to work and she started taking her DD to the babysitter my DD goes to. Well, we started talking about the babies and she said, "I moved DD to a big girl carseat!!" She was very excited about this. Her daugher is 9 months old. I was like.."WHAT? Why would you do that???" I think I took her off guard because she got kind of defensive. She said, "well, they can forward face at 20 pounds." I told her that just because they can, does not mean they should and went on to tell her how dangerous it was, etc. Then she said...." well, I did it with my older DD, let's just hope we are ok." I told her to go on Youtube and look at the video for forward facing before 2. She said she does not want to see it.

WOW! I am shocked. I don't understand why you would not want to do what is best for your child.

EastCoastBride · September 2010

Honestly, the fact that I come to these boards, I'm more aware of a lot of things that I might not be if I didnt come.

In this regard, and in general - where you get your information from can play a huge role in your choices. I've seen it in relation to kids, and in other areas in my life too.

I'm not shocked at all that she (and many others) turn their kids early - they probably dont' have an information resource like we have here.

Noelle2375 · September 2010

This is true. She has a 17 year old DD and now a 9 month old so lots has changed in 17 years. I just dont understand how even after I told her how dangerous it is, why she would not want to research it herself and fix it.

rebus82 · September 2010

The simple answer is, FF is easier. Easier to get them in the car, easier to deal with while driving, they're generally happier when they can see the people in the front seat, blah blah blah.

I think it's BS. I plan to keep B RF as long as possible. But blissful ignorance is nothing new. No one wants to see/hear what they don't want to see/hear. Why do what's right when you can do what's easy?

bethCT · September 2010

Wow, just wow. I just hope she turns the big girl carseat around! She would not be happy with my DD - 18 months and 19 lbs and no where near ready to forward face!

led2009 · September 2010

I agree w/ pp. If I hadn't read about ERF on here I wouldn't have a clue. I would've turned DD at 1 year/20lbs w/ out any clue that it was dangerous. A friend of mine told me the other day that I was endangering my child by keeping her RF! I told her I'd done my research and knew that it was safer and she was all "well my pedi told me when DS was little that it's safer to turn them." Hello, her son is 4 almost 5- things change. Plus doctors don't have a clue about car seats most of the time. Her response "Well, I guess as a 2nd time mom I'm more relaxed, plus we didn't even have car seats when we were little and we live." Grrrrrrrrr.

EcoBaby · September 2010

I thought it was the law to keep the RF till one. Or maybe I'm just imagining that.

Noelle2375 · September 2010

I am just concerned for the baby. She just started crawling a few weeks ago. It just scares me. Oh and she said that the carseat she got will not rear face!?

anglynn1124 · September 2010

EastCoastBride:

Honestly, the fact that I come to these boards, I'm more aware of a lot of things that I might not be if I didnt come.

In this regard, and in general - where you get your information from can play a huge role in your choices. I've seen it in relation to kids, and in other areas in my life too.

I'm not shocked at all that she (and many others) turn their kids early - they probably dont' have an information resource like we have here.

I agree. I was totally unaware of the extended rear facing thing before learning about it on these boards. I'm very grateful I did learn it here so I can keep DD as safe as possible as long as possible. But there are no laws on it in any states beyond the 1 year and 20 lbs minimum & if people dont have access to the information, they aren't going to know either. I think Pedi's really need to start bringing it up to parents more, as that will at least plant the seed in parents mind to do the research on their own. I have tried to casually bring it up to some people and a co-worker is still rear-facing her 20 month old son because of it & another co-worker is going to make sure her daughter knows about the new recs for her grandaughter. I figure its not huge, but if I can convince one or 2 people and they tell 1 or 2 people and so on, that IS something. It's important to not sound preachy , just give them the info, what they do with it is their choice.

bethCT · September 2010

anglynn1124:
EastCoastBride:

Honestly, the fact that I come to these boards, I'm more aware of a lot of things that I might not be if I didnt come.

In this regard, and in general - where you get your information from can play a huge role in your choices. I've seen it in relation to kids, and in other areas in my life too.

I'm not shocked at all that she (and many others) turn their kids early - they probably dont' have an information resource like we have here.

I agree. I was totally unaware of the extended rear facing thing before learning about it on these boards. I'm very grateful I did learn it here so I can keep DD as safe as possible as long as possible. But there are no laws on it in any states beyond the 1 year and 20 lbs minimum & if people dont have access to the information, they aren't going to know either. I think Pedi's really need to start bringing it up to parents more, as that will at least plant the seed in parents mind to do the research on their own. I have tried to casually bring it up to some people and a co-worker is still rear-facing her 20 month old son because of it & another co-worker is going to make sure her daughter knows about the new recs for her grandaughter. I figure its not huge, but if I can convince one or 2 people and they tell 1 or 2 people and so on, that IS something. It's important to not sound preachy , just give them the info, what they do with it is their choice.

our Pedi told us, and when DD turned 1 she said that she was still not legally able to forward face.

Noelle2375 · September 2010

I guess I just dont understand how someone can think that 9 months is old enough to forward face, no matter how much they weigh. She is so little still....:(

anglynn1124 · September 2010

Noelle2375:
I guess I just dont understand how someone can think that 9 months is old enough to forward face, no matter how much they weigh. She is so little still....:(

some people just make stupid choices..it happens every day ! it is sad for the child but god-willing nothing will ever happen to her because of her mothers poor choices..but stupid choice or not, its still her right to make it.

sunnyday016 · September 2010

I can't fathom hearing the info you gave her and not looking into it more. Plus, isn't the LAW at least 1 year? Isn't she breaking the law, even if her LO is over 20lbs.?

Noelle2375 · September 2010

anglynn1124:

Noelle2375:
I guess I just dont understand how someone can think that 9 months is old enough to forward face, no matter how much they weigh. She is so little still....:(

some people just make stupid choices..it happens every day ! it is sad for the child but god-willing nothing will ever happen to her because of her mothers poor choices..but stupid choice or not, its still her right to make it.

this is true. All I can do is try to let her know what I know. What she does with that info is her choice.

kell8807 · September 2010

I'm with everyone else on this one. If not for these boards, I never would have known about rear facing past the age of 1. I always thought you could FF after 1 & 20 lbs. But after hearing everything on here & watching the videos on You Tube, DD will be RF until she reaches the weight limit on her carseat. I really hope nothing happens to your friends LO, she really needs to rethink having her FF.

sunnyday016 · September 2010

anglynn1124:
Noelle2375:
I guess I just dont understand how someone can think that 9 months is old enough to forward face, no matter how much they weigh. She is so little still....:(

some people just make stupid choices..it happens every day ! it is sad for the child but god-willing nothing will ever happen to her because of her mothers poor choices..but stupid choice or not, its still her right to make it.

It's her right to make poor choices, but if her choice is illegal, then she's endangering her child. There's a law for a reason.

OP-what are the laws in your state?

anglynn1124 · September 2010

sunnyday016:
anglynn1124:

Noelle2375:
I guess I just dont understand how someone can think that 9 months is old enough to forward face, no matter how much they weigh. She is so little still....:(

some people just make stupid choices..it happens every day ! it is sad for the child but god-willing nothing will ever happen to her because of her mothers poor choices..but stupid choice or not, its still her right to make it.

It's her right to make poor choices, but if her choice is illegal, then she's endangering her child. There's a law for a reason.

OP-what are the laws in your state?

this is true if the law states 1 year and 20 lbs..I was more referring to forward facing once the law allows it..It IS legal, not the best choice but legal and a parents right to make it.

Noelle2375 · September 2010

sunnyday016:
anglynn1124:

Noelle2375:
I guess I just dont understand how someone can think that 9 months is old enough to forward face, no matter how much they weigh. She is so little still....:(

some people just make stupid choices..it happens every day ! it is sad for the child but god-willing nothing will ever happen to her because of her mothers poor choices..but stupid choice or not, its still her right to make it.

It's her right to make poor choices, but if her choice is illegal, then she's endangering her child. There's a law for a reason.

OP-what are the laws in your state?

There are no laws regarding age. It is just scary because she is JUST 20 lbs and just turned 9 months. she is not even a year old yet.

Oh well, nothing more I can say to her. It is her choice.

sunnyday016 · September 2010

Noelle2375:
sunnyday016:
anglynn1124:

Noelle2375:
I guess I just dont understand how someone can think that 9 months is old enough to forward face, no matter how much they weigh. She is so little still....:(

some people just make stupid choices..it happens every day ! it is sad for the child but god-willing nothing will ever happen to her because of her mothers poor choices..but stupid choice or not, its still her right to make it.
It's her right to make poor choices, but if her choice is illegal, then she's endangering her child. There's a law for a reason.
OP-what are the laws in your state?
There are no laws regarding age. It is just scary because she is JUST 20 lbs and just turned 9 months. she is not even a year old yet.
Oh well, nothing more I can say to her. It is her choice.

Well, I guess if it's not illegal it's her choice then. You've done what you could to inform her, and she chose to stay ignorant. Good for you for speaking up though.

Noelle2375 · September 2010

sunnyday016:
Noelle2375:
sunnyday016:
anglynn1124:

Noelle2375:
I guess I just dont understand how someone can think that 9 months is old enough to forward face, no matter how much they weigh. She is so little still....:(

some people just make stupid choices..it happens every day ! it is sad for the child but god-willing nothing will ever happen to her because of her mothers poor choices..but stupid choice or not, its still her right to make it.

It's her right to make poor choices, but if her choice is illegal, then she's endangering her child. There's a law for a reason.

OP-what are the laws in your state?

There are no laws regarding age. It is just scary because she is JUST 20 lbs and just turned 9 months. she is not even a year old yet.

Oh well, nothing more I can say to her. It is her choice.

Well, I guess if it's not illegal it's her choice then. You've done what you could to inform her, and she chose to stay ignorant. Good for you for speaking up though.

Thank you!

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