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Parenting
How involved are your kids' grandparents?
How often do they see your kids? MH's mom passed away, so it's just his dad and his wife and they see the kids a few times a year and rarely babysit, but they are 70 so I am not comfortable with them babysitting plus all they do is plop DD1 in front of the TV. They are retired and live less than an hour away.
My parents are young-early 50s, both work full-time and live less than an hour away. They probably see the kids once a month and babysit every few months. When I had DD2 the only help they offered was watching DD1 for a couple nights while I was in the hospital-which I appreciate very much, but I can't help but feel sad that they don't want to do more. Maybe my expectations are too high, but I can't help comparing them to other grandparents who practically fight over wanting to babysit. DH and I have not had a night out to ourselves since before DD2 was born. I guess I just wish my kids had the doting grandparents that others seem to have.
Child #1: 6 yo DD Child #2: 2yo DD
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Re: How involved are your kids' grandparents?
My ILs are very involved. They watch our kids every day after school.
My parents, not so much. My dad and SM are retired and spend a great part of the year OOT. When in town, we don't really ask for much help b/c we're not used to having htem around and don't usually need much help. My mom and SD both work FT and so it's not as easy for them to help out. Regardless, it is super rare that they call me up and ask to see the kids b/c they miss them. It's my job as the DD to call them every 2 weeks and invite them over if we haven't seen them.
My mom/dad keep the kids while I work. DH's parents see them less often. His mom was coming by once a week after the new baby (which she never did the first time around with DS#1), but she is not coming as often since summer began. His Dad rarely comes with her since she usually comes on Fridays during the day when she comes. We rarely go to their house because it is a mess, and I wouldn't let her keep the kids. She has only watched DS#1 once at our house while I was a few blocks away at work.
ETA: But both sets of grandparents only live about 15 minutes away.
My parents see my kids at least once a week - they took care of them full time after I went back to work (3 months old) and did this until the 18 month mark. Then they watched them 2x a week until they turned 2 yrs. old. Now with my little one - they watched him full time for 2 months already (he's almost 5 months).
My inlaws aren't the type to watch anyones kids. In my MIL defense - she was diagnosed with cancer several years ago and thankfully beat it. But she's not the same as she used to be. My FIL isn't the baby person type and now he's battling cancer.
My MIL lives with us and therefore sees the kids every single day so in a way you could say she's very involved, but she's also quite elderly and disabled so she's never been able to do much with them.
My mom lives just under an hour away. The kids see her once every couple of months, usually just in passing for a few minutes here or there. She's not overly interested in the kids and my kids don't really have a relationship with her, they really don't know her very well.
Both grandfathers are deceased. My mom has a live-in boyfriend but the kids don't even know his name, LOL. They see him around but he doesn't really interact with them and he's just some dude kind of in the background. They've never even asked about him.
If we lived nearer them, they'd be more involved, I think, but as it is, we live 4 and 6 hours from them respectively.
When we lived near my in laws, my MIL took Jackson one day per week (I am a SAHM) and would babysit whenever asked, plus we saw them a few times per week.
Now that we live further away, both sets of parents are willing to help or take him here and there for a visit, but it's infrequent. My parents come visit us; my in laws do not, which is a whole 'nother story.
My FIL (MIL passed away) sees dd and ss 2-3 times a week. We all go out to dinner one night, and breakfast on Sunday. He often comes over one other night or takes ss to bingo.
My parents see them (ss is pretty much my child by now) at least 2 times a week as well. We spend all day/have dinner with my family in Sunday after breakfast. They normally have dd on Saturday for a few hours while we have date night as well. Once a month she spends the night. My mom will probably have dd 2 days a week once she retires as well.
We all live within 7 miles of each other and both of us are obviously from pretty tight family units. I know some people would feel suffocated by the togetherness, we would feel lost with out it.
My parents live in PA. We see them once or twice a year (at most). My Mom sends things to DD in the mail once every couple of months.
Dh's parents live about 3 1/2 hours away. They see DD maybe 3 times a year. They aren't into kids so much. MIL works full time. I think she's burned out.
It's sad. My grandparents were always around when I was growing up. I feel bad that Claire won't have the same experience as me.
My parents are very involved. My mom does not work, so she keeps the kids 2 days/week. My dad sees the kids when I drop them off/pick them up. And, we are all together on Fridays. My parents also have one or both kids for a sleepover about once/week. So, they are super involved. They are also basically wide open for babysitting and that usually involves a sleepover...say, if DH and I are going out to dinner on a Sat. night, my parents will just keep the kids overnight at their house.
My ILs live ~3 hours away and are not very good at 'keeping up their end of the bargain.' We go and see them about every other month, but they don't make it to our house every time they are 'supposed to'...the other months. They also are not good about calling regularly. So, I can't say that they are very involved. At.All.
I work for my FIL and bring the kids to work with me so he gets to see them every day. My MIL does watch them one day a week and then we have family dinner on Sunday. MIL is good to watch them whenever I go to the gym and DH is not home.
My parents live 1.5hrs away and we go home or my mom comes to town 1-2x month. My mom would jump at the chance to come and watch them if we needed her to.
My parents don't go more than a couple days without seeing the kids. They live 5 minutes away so they often stop by in the evening and take the kids to the park or come over for dinner. When I worked my mom watched the kids during the day. We just bought land with my parents and we will be building houses next door to each other eventually.
My IL's see the kids a couple times a week. My MIL usually picks up DD1 and DS from preschool once a week and we see them at family functions on the weekends.
I just posted this the other day. My parents see DD a few times a week and they have her overnight quite frequently too. DH calls them "old faithful". I talk to my mom every day and are super close to my parents, so it makes sense for us all to be close.
My inlaws are close by, but are pretty busy. My MIL hasn't seen DD in over a month and has no plans in the future to see her that I know of. It makes me sad, but I can only do so much.
I am learning to lower my expectations a bit (it's hard though). Also, DH and I finally got our first non-family babysitter to watch DD so my mom isn't the primary babysitter. I realize that she has a life and interests on her own and I need to encourage that.
My mom/stepdad live across the country and usually see DD 1-2x/yr. But I talk to my mom daily, she often sends DD packages, and I would say is very involved considering the distance. She always knows what DD likes, what she's into, etc.
My MIL (FIL is dead) lives about 8 hrs away and has seen DD 3x in her life. She calls maybe twice a year and she doesn't even know how old DD is. She sends age-inappropriate gifts at holidays and just generally doesn't seem that interested.
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45