Babies: 3 - 6 Months

(semi) F/U to I'm done - H vent

OP: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/41866002.aspx

After I lost it on H last night, I grabbed my laptop and LO and came out to the living room until about 12:30 or so.

I woke up at 4 to hear LO crying (H was already getting ready for work) and he surprisingly came back in with a bottle and fed her until he had to leave, then I had to finish the bottle. I was really impressed with that, first time he's done it.

But, he barely talked to me when he was feeding LO (just asked if her fighting the bottle was normal), then when he left, he passed her over to me, kissed DD and told her he loved her and than left. I texted him a few times and haven't gotten a response (and he's already been on break once with his lunch starting soon).

I have a feeling there will be a huge fight when he gets home, or that he'll text me telling me not to be home when he gets here. 

Re: (semi) F/U to I'm done - H vent

  • Seriously, tell you not to be home when he gets home?  Uhhhh fvck you DH (thats what I would say...not really, but something similar).  This is your house too. 

    He needs to come home and DEAL WITH THE ISSUE.  You two need to talk, not fight.  You said your peace, he seems to have heard it and now you need to calmly talk like adults and partners.

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  • he would tell you not to be home when he gets home?

     

    I'm sorry, but he has some real issues he needs to work out. That is BEYOND not ok.

     

    I'm sorry :(

     

    I know you said counseling is too expensive, but IMO you need to find a way to pay for it. Marriage counseling is needed here.

  • imageIrishBrideND:
    he would tell you not to be home when he gets home?


    He hasn't said that and I'm not sure he would say that, but I'm half-expecting it. 
  • I'm so sorry :( I'm definitely here if you need to talk.

    It would not be ok at all if he did say that to you.

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  • imagecarney09:

    Seriously, tell you not to be home when he gets home?  Uhhhh fvck you DH (thats what I would say...not really, but something similar).  This is your house too. 

    He needs to come home and DEAL WITH THE ISSUE.  You two need to talk, not fight.  You said your peace, he seems to have heard it and now you need to calmly talk like adults and partners.

    This exactly.  I'm sorry you're dealing with this crap, but I agree that he needs to face the issues and deal with them.  I think guys have a hard time dealing with "serious talks" (my H will roll his eyes or sigh whenever I want to have a serious talk about something), but he's an adult and can't keep avoiding everything.

    I also agree with Irish - you should really find someone to talk to that is impartial and can hopefully help you both find a scenario that works for everyone.

    Good luck and hang in there.


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  • how could you not be home if you don't have a working car? I just read the old post and my dh would not leave me without a car with a child in case there was an emergency and needed to go to the er or just to the doc because of an illness. That part is beyond selfish on your dh's part about 'feeling naked'. he needs to suck it up.
  • After a fight it is sometimes best for us to not talk for a couple hrs. so we can both calm down and think about what each other had said. Then we talk it out. Maybe this is what your DH is doing. I hope! GL I hope this all gets better for you!
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