This came out of nowhere... — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

This came out of nowhere...

Harper just turned 2 months and all the sudden out of nowhere I'm so sad I can't make it through the workday without going into the bathroom to cry two or three times.  For the first two months the only issue I had was feeling overwhelmed, but it wasn't overpowering like it is now.  I cried myself to sleep last night and couldn't even figure out why I was crying.  I feel like a terrible mother.  I was so determined to EBF and when it didn't work (he was losing to much weight too fast) I felt like a failure.  Everytime I think about failing at breastfeeding I feel awful and have to fight back the tears.  I thought it was just the ordinary blues I usually got before I was pregnant during my period, but it's gone now and the blues aren't. 

I don't know what's going on.  My husband is deploying in less than 2 weeks and my doctor thought that I just have so much going on that I had a reason to be overwhelmed but it's just getting worse and worse.  I feel awful.  Harper deserves a happy, healthy Mom.

On top of all that I feel disgusting.  I am so huge.  Even though I lost all the baby weight I still can't fit into any of my pre-baby clothes.  I'm in the Navy and I had to buy all bigger uniforms (which aren't cheap) and only have 3 more months to be completely back in shape.  I have stretch marks literally from my two inches above my belly button all the way to my calves!  They go all the way around my thighs, butt, back and stomach.  I can't even wear shorts or a skirt without them showing, let alone a bathing suit. 

All of the sudden I feel like I'll never be able to juggle the baby, the housework, the military, the dog and working out.  How do people do it?

Harper is so excited to be a big brother!

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Re: This came out of nowhere...

  • First of all. . . . BREATHE.  You do have a lot going on, and that's okay.  If I'm understanding you correctly, it sounds like you feel like your life is spinning out of controI.  You remind me of me.  I would cry for hours and not know why.  And I couldn't stop.  I felt totally overwhelmed.

    Please, call your OB or PCP and let them know how you are feeling.  Things can get so much better!  And like you said, Harper deserves a happy Mom.  HTH!!!!

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  • Sometimes life throws you a lot at once and post pardum depression can easily come at 2 months. So with all you have going on please see a doctor. It can become night and day baby!! Good luck


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  • I'm sorry about how you are feeling. Don't be so hard on yourself. It has only been 2 months. None of us are looking like Giselle yet :) Plus your husband is deploying which is huge. I am sure you are a great mom. Love the name Harper, btw. I am on medication for PPD and it has made a huge difference. Talk to your OB if you think it might help you. Good luck!
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