This came out of nowhere...

Harper just turned 2 months and all the sudden out of nowhere I'm so sad I can't make it through the workday without going into the bathroom to cry two or three times.  For the first two months the only issue I had was feeling overwhelmed, but it wasn't overpowering like it is now.  I cried myself to sleep last night and couldn't even figure out why I was crying.  I feel like a terrible mother.  I was so determined to EBF and when it didn't work (he was losing to much weight too fast) I felt like a failure.  Everytime I think about failing at breastfeeding I feel awful and have to fight back the tears.  I thought it was just the ordinary blues I usually got before I was pregnant during my period, but it's gone now and the blues aren't. 

I don't know what's going on.  My husband is deploying in less than 2 weeks and my doctor thought that I just have so much going on that I had a reason to be overwhelmed but it's just getting worse and worse.  I feel awful.  Harper deserves a happy, healthy Mom.

On top of all that I feel disgusting.  I am so huge.  Even though I lost all the baby weight I still can't fit into any of my pre-baby clothes.  I'm in the Navy and I had to buy all bigger uniforms (which aren't cheap) and only have 3 more months to be completely back in shape.  I have stretch marks literally from my two inches above my belly button all the way to my calves!  They go all the way around my thighs, butt, back and stomach.  I can't even wear shorts or a skirt without them showing, let alone a bathing suit. 

All of the sudden I feel like I'll never be able to juggle the baby, the housework, the military, the dog and working out.  How do people do it?