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Baby Names
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When baby names become selfish...
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in Baby Names
An article that came across my FB newsfeed:
Thoughts?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: When baby names become selfish...
While I agree with her sentiments in theory, I don't agree that Linus is a bad name. Especially when she named her daughter Clemens. She claims to get a "pass" because of family heritage (it is a surname) but it is still a bad first name IMO. And resumes and college applications don't come with a footnotes section where you explain your name away.
She named her daughter CLEMENS? Linus is not my style, but it's WAY better than a girl named Clemens.
Family name or no, it can be every bit as selfish to name your child something awful because you think it sounds trendy as to name your child something awful because it's unusual and your great-great-great-grand cousin once removed had it.
I like Laura Wattenberg's take on the matter:
https://www.namecandy.com/name-lady/2010/06/22/your-babys-name-is-not-a-battleground
One of the big rules for me in my baby's name is would it be a name I'd like to have. Yes, it's adorable to name your baby Kaylee or whatever, but she's not going to be an infant forever. Someday, Kaylee will be a 40 year old prosecuting attorney or a 60 year old grandmother. That's why, as popular as they are, I can't fault the people choosing to name their children Emma, Ava. Sophia, and Isabelle. Those are all names that will grow well with the girls-to-be-women they give them to.
I think when a family name is something like "Clemens" you are giving it to her to make a point every bit as much as someone who names their child Linus, which at least is a real first name.
I plan to give my child the same middle name my parents gave me, after an important family member. It's not "unusual" but it's definitely not part of the fashion of today. And what's more, it IS a woman's first name. People know how to pronounce and spell it. But it will also be her middle name, so they probably won't have to do that often.
I really cannot fathom why a woman cruel enough to name her daughter Clemens has any right to chastise other parents for their naming choices. I'm not a particular fan of Linus and lord knows I hate Brooklyn and Atticus, but those names are positively tame compared to a girl named Clemens.
The author hit the issue on the nose, though. Parents give their children the names they wish they had been given, without considering the child's feelings in the matter and I do agree that our naming styles are probably a very strong reflection of our feelings about our own names. I loved my name growing up, I still love it today and I'm giving my children names that are in a similar style, for similar reasons, and that have the same kinds of personal significance to me that my name did to my mother.
That holds true for many other naming trends, too. Teen mothers are notorious for giving their children names with unique spellings and altogether invented names. Funny, that teen years are the time when kids are most likely to say that they hate their own name, change their names, and adjust the spelling of their names. It makes sense, then, that they would do the same for their children, however detrimental to the child.
Or, take immigrants who come to this country (or any other) with a distinctly foreign-sounding name, like Xiao Mei. They're much more likely to give their children names like Susan, Thomas and Elizabeth than names that harken to their own cultural heritage.
She has a good point, and terrible examples. Since when are Linus and Atticus trendy enough to be named alongside Brooklyn?
For the record, I'd hire Linus Bickles before Clemens Dempsey any day of the week---I don't care what name-explaining clause her mommy attaches to her resume.
(I kept hoping she'd say something like, "Will little Atticus ever make it as a prosecuting attorney? Hardly." But I guess her sense of irony is a little more accute than I give her credit for.)
Heavens to Murgatroyd Blog
Unofficial Baby Names Sticky Note: New and Old| Local Bumpie Website
DS Born 4/13/11
I just don't think a "cutesy" first name like Kaylee will really hold my daughter back.... if I am wrong and somehow I hurt my daughter's career choices in the future by naming her Kaylee I will just feel awful about. Somehow though, I think she will be okay. I would like to think that a solid education and being raised to work hard and make good decisions will matter more than her first name.
Angel Baby: 5/29/08
This is a great opportunity to get out some of my thoughts on family names!
They're great and all, but there are many instances in which I believe they are uncalled for.
One is when people use names from random people in their family tree that they never met.
Like when people say things like "I heard there was an Armerella in our lineage somewhere. I'm not sure how she spelled it, but I'm definitely using it, so I can use the nn 'Ella'." If you don't know how she spelled it, you probably never met her. Why would you want to honor someone you know nothing about? You just want to be able to say "I know Ella is SOOOOO popular, but it's a family name for us, so it's okay."
Another instance in which I don't applaud family names is when they honor someone just because they are dead.
A real life example is my mom's best friend. Her husband left when the children were very young, because he was addicted to drugs and was an alcoholic and didn't care about his family. He would pop back in their lives every couple of years, take advantage of her, then would leave again and get back into his drug habits. So one time when he was out on a drug run, he got shot and killed in a crack house. The son and daughter were around 8 and 10 at the time.... Fast forward like 15 years, and the children are grown up. The daughter is pregnant AND the son's wife is pregnant. Of all the people in their lives that they could honor, whom do you think they chose? The son is using his dad's first name as his son's middle name, and the daughter is using her dad's middle name as her son's middle name. UGH! It makes me sick.
I think family names should only be used to honor family members that make a huge impact in your life. Like if your aunt practically raised you, or your grandfather taught you everything about baseball, and you became a professional baseball player, etc. Of course, your mom and dad's names are acceptable as well, because they are the ones that usually make the greatest impact in our lives, and probably will have one in your child's life as well.
I could go on about other instances when family names make me crazy, but I don't want to offend everyone on the board all at once.