What are your opinions on this? Kindergarten ...

SaraSmile · August 2010

Sort of a follow up post. We already made our decision but I am just curious ...

If the cut off for kindergarten were Sept. 1st and your child turned 5 in August would you send them or wait a year?

We are waiting until next year. I have spoken to a lot of neighbors and people in our area and was surprised to find how many people "do" hold their kids back a year. But on here it seems like people were in shock that I was "doing such a thing" with my son. My mom works in a school and said many families do it at her district, especially boys.

Thoughts?

goodheartedmommy · August 2010

I really don't get why you'd do that.

GinandTonic · August 2010

DS's birthday is August 2nd. So, he just turned 5 and the cutoff is 9/1 (my birthday!) and we're sending him.

He's VERY tall for his age (about 48 inches). I know that shouldn't be the deciding factor, but it plays into it. He did preK for two years -a 3's class and a 4's class. He's ready now - intellectually at least. Socially, he's ok. It may be more of a problem when he's just 13 and his friends are turning 14, but we'll deal with it then (not hold him back, but just deal with the maturity issues).

When we were kids, the cutoff was 12/1 and my brother's birthday is 11/6. He went to K young - by middle school, it was clear he was young for his class. But he managed.

SaraSmile · August 2010

goodheartedmommy:
I really don't get why you'd do that.

Can you elaborate?

ali-1411 · August 2010

It would depend on the kid. DS would not have been ready for kinder that quickly after turning 5. But we were fortunate...his birthday is in Feb and so we had 6 months before school started. It worked out.

Some kids are ready right at 5 years old, some kids need a few more months.

Yodajo · August 2010

I would do what you are doing.

It is extremely common where we live to send them the following year. It is important to know what the norm is in your district since that will have an impact on your child as well.

belle204 · August 2010

They would be going. I *guess* if the individual child just weren't ready then whatever but not just for the reasons you gave.

SaraSmile · August 2010

belle204:
They would be going. I *guess* if the individual child just weren't ready then whatever but not just for the reasons you gave.

I didn't mean we were doing it just because everyone in our area does it. We feel he isn't mature enough yet (he is a bit of a goof ball at times) and I think he will have an advantage getting another year in of school before kindergarten next year. I was posting because I was shocked how many people thought I was nuts about doing it ... and it seems like the norm in our district.

Jen2124 · August 2010

Our cutoff is Dec 1 and the boys are born Sept 16, we are holding them back, too.

It is super common here. I have talked to a number of teachers and people in general and I hear 9/10 times (or more) people recommend to hold back (here)...even my SIL who is a teacher and also has a sept baby is starting their son a year later. I have also heard it is more common in well off areas since daycare costs are not as much of an issue.

It kind of stinks because so many people do it here, if you DON'T do it, your child can be over a year younger than their classmates. I am even hearing people who hold their children back with early summer and late spring bdays, which seems extreme.

I would have held back regardless though. Boys usually mature slower and I'd rather them be a year ahead than a year behind. I'm also in no hurry for them to grow up, so it will be nice to have an extra year home with them (although that alone is not a reason to hold back for me).

I've also spoken to many parents with older children who have held their back and I haven't heard one person regret it yet. I have heard people regret starting their child early.

Those are just a handful of our reasons. I feel it's right for us in our situation, but everyone's situation is different.

eclaires · August 2010

Depends on the kid and the area (if it was common to redshirt the child, I'd be inclined to do so because he would be significantly younger than a lot of his class because of that).

My brother and I are both September birthdays and started school in a district where the cut off was 9/30. We both went as 4 year olds, turning 5. I did fine, he did not. He was just not ready for school yet, and ended up repeating K.

Jackson is 1 day past the cut off here in TN, and he'll go when he's 5 turning 6. We'll have to make a decision for Scarlett because she'll be like me - mid September birthday w/ a September 30th cut off. If she seems ready, we'll send her, even though it seems common for kids here to be on the older end. If she's not, we'll wait until she's 5 turning 6.

Yodajo · August 2010

Jen2124:

Our cutoff is Dec 1 and the boys are born Sept 16, we are holding them back, too.

It is super common here. I have talked to a number of teachers and people in general and I hear 9/10 times (or more) people recommend to hold back (here)...even my SIL who is a teacher and also has a sept baby is starting their son a year later. I have also heard it is more common in well off areas since daycare costs are not as much of an issue.

It kind of stinks because so many people do it here, if you DON'T do it, your child can be over a year younger than their classmates. I am even hearing people who hold their children back with early summer and late spring bdays, which seems extreme.

I would have held back regardless though. Boys usually mature slower and I'd rather them be a year ahead than a year behind. I'm also in no hurry for them to grow up, so it will be nice to have an extra year home with them (although that alone is not a reason to hold back for me).

I've also spoken to many parents with older children who have held their back and I haven't heard one person regret it yet. I have heard people regret starting their child early.

Those are just a handful of our reasons. I feel it's right for us in our situation, but everyone's situation is different.

Ditto all of this 100%. I was just too lazy to type it all!

DS1's bday is 10/29 and we are waiting. DS2's bday is 9/6 and he will more than likely wait as well. Our cutoff here is 12/1.

august06mom · August 2010

Jen2124:

Our cutoff is Dec 1 and the boys are born Sept 16, we are holding them back, too.

It is super common here. I have talked to a number of teachers and people in general and I hear 9/10 times (or more) people recommend to hold back (here)...even my SIL who is a teacher and also has a sept baby is starting their son a year later. I have also heard it is more common in well off areas since daycare costs are not as much of an issue.

It kind of stinks because so many people do it here, if you DON'T do it, your child can be over a year younger than their classmates. I am even hearing people who hold their children back with early summer and late spring bdays, which seems extreme.

I would have held back regardless though. Boys usually mature slower and I'd rather them be a year ahead than a year behind. I'm also in no hurry for them to grow up, so it will be nice to have an extra year home with them (although that alone is not a reason to hold back for me).

I've also spoken to many parents with older children who have held their back and I haven't heard one person regret it yet. I have heard people regret starting their child early.

Those are just a handful of our reasons. I feel it's right for us in our situation, but everyone's situation is different.

This really bothers me that it's become such a trend. Why don't they just bring the starting age of kindegarten to age 6 if that's what everyone is going to do? Of course your kid is going to have an advantage -- he'll be an entire year older than the other kids.

GreenEggs&Ham · August 2010

My thought is you have the chance to delay the start of school for a child with out major negatives (i.e. no other source of social interaction, the child is enourmous for their age, already reading War and Peace or something extreme like that) then I would hold them.

This is because I would so much rather send a more mature/older kid off to college and all that freedom, vs a younger one.

Yodajo · August 2010

GinandTonic:

DS's birthday is August 2nd. So, he just turned 5 and the cutoff is 9/1 (my birthday!) and we're sending him.

He's VERY tall for his age (about 48 inches). I know that shouldn't be the deciding factor, but it plays into it. He did preK for two years -a 3's class and a 4's class. He's ready now - intellectually at least. Socially, he's ok. It may be more of a problem when he's just 13 and his friends are turning 14, but we'll deal with it then (not hold him back, but just deal with the maturity issues).

When we were kids, the cutoff was 12/1 and my brother's birthday is 11/6. He went to K young - by middle school, it was clear he was young for his class. But he managed.

I just want to point out that the teachers I've talked to have said that the intellectual readiness of it is not as important as the social aspect of it all. I think Sam would be ready intellectually, but the social aspect of it is what concerns me with him and where I think he will benefit from waiting.

penguingrrl · August 2010

I know it's very common and have considered it for my daughter (Aug 30 birthday), but she is very mature already so we won't be holding her back unless the cutoff where we live when she's entering is before that (we don't know where we'll be then yet). I think it should be a parent's decision to know if their kid is ready to start school or not. My younger brother made the cutoff, but barely (cutoff was 10/31 and his b-day was 10/29) and the school forced the issue of him enrolling "on time" and he suffered for it all the way through because he just wasn't ready for K nor was he emotionally ready for high school when he started. That said, where I currently live there's a 12/31 cutoff and they do not allow parents to determine that child is not ready, which bothers me immensely. If you try to hold your kid back they enroll them in grade 1 instead of K the next year and they've entirely missed K.

belle204 · August 2010

I was referring to your post yesterday, not that everyone else is doing it. Every child is different and you obviously know yours better than we do.

Jen2124 · August 2010

Yodajo:
GinandTonic:

DS's birthday is August 2nd. So, he just turned 5 and the cutoff is 9/1 (my birthday!) and we're sending him.

He's VERY tall for his age (about 48 inches). I know that shouldn't be the deciding factor, but it plays into it. He did preK for two years -a 3's class and a 4's class. He's ready now - intellectually at least. Socially, he's ok. It may be more of a problem when he's just 13 and his friends are turning 14, but we'll deal with it then (not hold him back, but just deal with the maturity issues).

When we were kids, the cutoff was 12/1 and my brother's birthday is 11/6. He went to K young - by middle school, it was clear he was young for his class. But he managed.

I just want to point out that the teachers I've talked to have said that the intellectual readiness of it is not as important as the social aspect of it all. I think Sam would be ready intellectually, but the social aspect of it is what concerns me with him and where I think he will benefit from waiting.

Agree with Yoda and also want to add, I am a little hesitant to declare if mine are socially ready at this young of an age. Like they might be now, but they could turn out to be super "immature" teenagers or something etc..aren't all boys? haha. I just don't feel like I can make a decision about them being ready for the next 13 years of school based off of how ready they seem when they are 4 or 5...kwim?

MichelleWP · August 2010

Our school cut-off is 9/1, my daughter was born 8/31, I am definitely red-shirting her. I know more that do than don't. It's much easier to move ahead than go back, to me it's a gift of time and letting her mature more (social-emotional). She is also very small for her age, and has a significant gross motor delay (4%) and we know she will have a hard time keeping up with other kids, but that plays minimally in our decision.

There was a story recently connecting ADD/ADHD dx with being the younger kids in the class - they just aren't at the same level as the older peers.

Mominator · August 2010

august06mom:
Jen2124:

Our cutoff is Dec 1 and the boys are born Sept 16, we are holding them back, too.

It is super common here. I have talked to a number of teachers and people in general and I hear 9/10 times (or more) people recommend to hold back (here)...even my SIL who is a teacher and also has a sept baby is starting their son a year later. I have also heard it is more common in well off areas since daycare costs are not as much of an issue.

It kind of stinks because so many people do it here, if you DON'T do it, your child can be over a year younger than their classmates. I am even hearing people who hold their children back with early summer and late spring bdays, which seems extreme.

I would have held back regardless though. Boys usually mature slower and I'd rather them be a year ahead than a year behind. I'm also in no hurry for them to grow up, so it will be nice to have an extra year home with them (although that alone is not a reason to hold back for me).

I've also spoken to many parents with older children who have held their back and I haven't heard one person regret it yet. I have heard people regret starting their child early.

Those are just a handful of our reasons. I feel it's right for us in our situation, but everyone's situation is different.

This really bothers me that it's become such a trend. Why don't they just bring the starting age of kindegarten to age 6 if that's what everyone is going to do? Of course your kid is going to have an advantage -- he'll be an entire year older than the other kids.

I agree with you completely. I am not a fan of red shirting at all. While I do think it is necessary for some children, for most, it isn't. Honestly, all the parent is doing at that point is giving the child an unfair advantage because they will be older and bigger than all of the other children in the class. School districts have cut off dates for a reason and sending your kid that is within that date should be the norm, not the exception.

sarahslost · August 2010

Taylor turns 5 on the cutoff here, Sept. 1. Unless we see obvious reason to hold her, she will be starting on time.

SaraSmile · August 2010

Jen2124:

Our cutoff is Dec 1 and the boys are born Sept 16, we are holding them back, too.

It is super common here. I have talked to a number of teachers and people in general and I hear 9/10 times (or more) people recommend to hold back (here)...even my SIL who is a teacher and also has a sept baby is starting their son a year later. I have also heard it is more common in well off areas since daycare costs are not as much of an issue.

It kind of stinks because so many people do it here, if you DON'T do it, your child can be over a year younger than their classmates. I am even hearing people who hold their children back with early summer and late spring bdays, which seems extreme.

I would have held back regardless though. Boys usually mature slower and I'd rather them be a year ahead than a year behind. I'm also in no hurry for them to grow up, so it will be nice to have an extra year home with them (although that alone is not a reason to hold back for me).

I've also spoken to many parents with older children who have held their back and I haven't heard one person regret it yet. I have heard people regret starting their child early.

Those are just a handful of our reasons. I feel it's right for us in our situation, but everyone's situation is different.

Thank you. That is exactly how I feel (I was starting to think I was the only one who felt this way). And the part about having him a little longer at home... I felt the same way but didn't want to say it here - I was afraid of getting flamed! My DD will start kindergarten in 2 years and my son will be starting 1st grade at that time. I thought it would be nice to have them a year apart in school. Thanks for your thoughts on this. It's good to know I am not alone.

MichelleWP · August 2010

sarahslost:
Taylor turns 5 on the cutoff here, Sept. 1. Unless we see obvious reason to hold her, she will be starting on time.

Are you sure 9/1 is included? Our cut-off is 9/1, but meaning they need to be 5 before 9/1, so really 8/31.

GinandTonic · August 2010

Jen2124:
Yodajo:
GinandTonic:

DS's birthday is August 2nd. So, he just turned 5 and the cutoff is 9/1 (my birthday!) and we're sending him.

He's VERY tall for his age (about 48 inches). I know that shouldn't be the deciding factor, but it plays into it. He did preK for two years -a 3's class and a 4's class. He's ready now - intellectually at least. Socially, he's ok. It may be more of a problem when he's just 13 and his friends are turning 14, but we'll deal with it then (not hold him back, but just deal with the maturity issues).

When we were kids, the cutoff was 12/1 and my brother's birthday is 11/6. He went to K young - by middle school, it was clear he was young for his class. But he managed.

I just want to point out that the teachers I've talked to have said that the intellectual readiness of it is not as important as the social aspect of it all. I think Sam would be ready intellectually, but the social aspect of it is what concerns me with him and where I think he will benefit from waiting.

Agree with Yoda and also want to add, I am a little hesitant to declare if mine are socially ready at this young of an age. Like they might be now, but they could turn out to be super "immature" teenagers or something etc..aren't all boys? haha. I just don't feel like I can make a decision about them being ready for the next 13 years of school based off of how ready they seem when they are 4 or 5...kwim?

I guess my point is that he's socially ready NOW. Whether or not he'll be socially ok when he's 13, I can't predict. But, I can't hold him back for him to be bored (both socially and intellectually) in another year of preK based on what might happen in 8 years. We'll deal with that when the time comes.

SaraSmile · August 2010

belle204:
I was referring to your post yesterday, not that everyone else is doing it. Every child is different and you obviously know yours better than we do.

Oh LOL well yesterday I was just wondering about the whole "should I make a big deal and take photos" aspect of it. Not to start a whole debate on the red shirting topic. I feel like it's confusing because people have asked him ... are you starting kindergarten this year? He answers yes ... but he really isn't going until next year. I know that it's not that big of an issue but I was just wondering if it is a moment to scrapbook (so to say) or not.

goodheartedmommy · August 2010

PMQ:
Mominator:
august06mom:
Jen2124:

This really bothers me that it's become such a trend. Why don't they just bring the starting age of kindegarten to age 6 if that's what everyone is going to do? Of course your kid is going to have an advantage -- he'll be an entire year older than the other kids.

I agree with you completely. I am not a fan of red shirting at all. While I do think it is necessary for some children, for most, it isn't. Honestly, all the parent is doing at that point is giving the child an unfair advantage because they will be older and bigger than all of the other children in the class. School districts have cut off dates for a reason and sending your kid that is within that date should be the norm, not the exception.

:::gratuitously using the multiple quote function:::

I agree with this completely. I think that the gross majority of children should start when they meet the age requirement.

I agree with all of this, especially the bolded parts.

I also think it's pretty weird to keep them home just so you have another year at home with them...and that's coming from a homeschooling parent. It just doesn't seem like a good enough reason to redshirt a child. Are you going to be using a 5 year old program at a preschool, or they're just staying home with you?

SaraSmile · August 2010

Honestly, all the parent is doing at that point is giving the child an unfair advantage because they will be older and bigger than all of the other children in the class. School districts have cut off dates for a reason and sending your kid that is within that date should be the norm, not the exception.

Since when does being bigger (physically) give you an advantage academically?

sarahslost · August 2010

MichelleWP:

sarahslost:
Taylor turns 5 on the cutoff here, Sept. 1. Unless we see obvious reason to hold her, she will be starting on time.

Are you sure 9/1 is included? Our cut-off is 9/1, but meaning they need to be 5 before 9/1, so really 8/31.

Yeah, I'm sure. I checked when my induction was scheduled, lol. I'm in Illinois, and it is on or before 9/1.

august06mom · August 2010

SaraSmile:

Honestly, all the parent is doing at that point is giving the child an unfair advantage because they will be older and bigger than all of the other children in the class. School districts have cut off dates for a reason and sending your kid that is within that date should be the norm, not the exception.

Since when does being bigger (physically) give you an advantage academically?

Many parents (especially of boys) red shirt their kids so that they are bigger in sports. Drives me crazy.

SaraSmile · August 2010

goodheartedmommy:
PMQ:
Mominator:
august06mom:
Jen2124:

This really bothers me that it's become such a trend. Why don't they just bring the starting age of kindegarten to age 6 if that's what everyone is going to do? Of course your kid is going to have an advantage -- he'll be an entire year older than the other kids.

I agree with you completely. I am not a fan of red shirting at all. While I do think it is necessary for some children, for most, it isn't. Honestly, all the parent is doing at that point is giving the child an unfair advantage because they will be older and bigger than all of the other children in the class. School districts have cut off dates for a reason and sending your kid that is within that date should be the norm, not the exception.

:::gratuitously using the multiple quote function:::

I agree with this completely. I think that the gross majority of children should start when they meet the age requirement.

I agree with all of this, especially the bolded parts.

I also think it's pretty weird to keep them home just so you have another year at home with them...and that's coming from a homeschooling parent. It just doesn't seem like a good enough reason to redshirt a child. Are you going to be using a 5 year old program at a preschool, or they're just staying home with you?

My son is going to the the kindergarten program at our childcare facility this year (he would have just stayed in pre-k another year but this is new). Next Sept. he will go to public school kindergarten (which is only 2.5 hrs. here .. ugh!) then after school will be at the childcare center we use now.

sarahslost · August 2010

I think the potential advantage to physically bigger would eventually be in sports, right? I mean that's part of it, isn't it?

newmoh529 · August 2010

My daughter has a November Birthday. Our cut-off is Dec 1st. She started Kindergarten last year at 4 yrs 10 months. Many of the kids in her class are almost a year older. Her pre-school said she was ready, and she passed all of the screenings! I was worried that she might be too immature, but it turned out to be fine! She did exceptionally well with the academics and kept right up socially as well. Trust your gut!

eclaires · August 2010

I think it's weird that so many people are citing the cut off dates like they are magical indicators that every child will be ready by. If that were the case, the cut off dates would be the same across the country. But they're not. They're all over the place, and for the most part, appear to be arbitrary.

I mean, the last time I read this debate, which was around this time last year, someone was like, "OMG HOLDING A SEPTEMBER BABY BACK? THAT'S RIDICULOUS! I would only hold a child back if they were within a few weeks of the cut off date" Uh, okay, if the cut off date is September, not December 31st, that statement makes zero sense.

For me, it's about doing what's right for my child, which means if he's ready, he'll go. If he's not, he won't. I mean, really, do you want my youngish child in your child's class taking up the teacher's time when he/she is not ready for school? Doubt it.

sarahslost · August 2010

eclaires:

I think it's weird that so many people are citing the cut off dates like they are magical indicators that every child will be ready by. If that were the case, the cut off dates would be the same across the country. But they're not. They're all over the place, and for the most part, appear to be arbitrary.

I mean, the last time I read this debate, which was around this time last year, someone was like, "OMG HOLDING A SEPTEMBER BABY BACK? THAT'S RIDICULOUS! I would only hold a child back if they were within a few weeks of the cut off date" Uh, okay, if the cut off date is September, not December 31st, that statement makes zero sense.

For me, it's about doing what's right for my child, which means if he's ready, he'll go. If he's not, he won't. I mean, really, do you want my youngish child in your child's class taking up the teacher's time when he/she is not ready for school? Doubt it.

Agree with this. While I really want Taylor to go to Kindergarten "on time"; I will do what is best for her, with whatever guidance the school offers. If we/they do not feel she's ready, then we will wait a year. But I have no intentions of holding her back otherwise.

In some of these examples in almost seems like people are looking for reasons to hold their kids back. I could be wrong of course, but that's what its sounding like.

beanzer · August 2010

eclaires:
I think it's weird that so many people are citing the cut off dates like they are magical indicators that every child will be ready by. If that were the case, the cut off dates would be the same across the country. But they're not. They're all over the place, and for the most part, appear to be arbitrary.
I mean, the last time I read this debate, which was around this time last year, someone was like, "OMG HOLDING A SEPTEMBER BABY BACK? THAT'S RIDICULOUS! I would only hold a child back if they were within a few weeks of the cut off date" Uh, okay, if the cut off date is September, not December 31st, that statement makes zero sense.
For me, it's about doing what's right for my child, which means if he's ready, he'll go. If he's not, he won't. I mean, really, do you want my youngish child in your child's class taking up the teacher's time when he/she is not ready for school? Doubt it.

very well said. one of our neighbors put their son in when he was not ready because of the cost of daycare. he was in trouble all year AND is repeating kindergarden again this year.

gracendantho26 · August 2010

My DD started kindergarten as a 4 year old in late August and her b-day is Sept. 11th. She is now in 2nd grade and doing great but she is one of the youngest in her class. Many of her classmates are due to turn 8 years old soon and she'll be 7 years old the entire year. She was definitely ready to start kinder when she did. My thought is that it should be looked at on a case by case basis.

MirandaHobbes · August 2010

Depends on the kid- but I'd probably hold back. My child is described as "immature" (speech delayed, and emotionally behind the other kids) so it would be a no brainer for me. My sister was in this boat- it used to be that you had to be 4 at the start of kindy in our district- she turned 4 a few days before school started and my Mom started her because she was so excited to go. She was always behind academically in school and said she was miserable in high school when she still couldn't drive.

Also- there was just a study released that said that kids diagnosed with ADHD in kindy/1st grade are more likely to be misdiagnosed when they are on the younger side of their class- the teacher gets fed up with their immaturity and they slap an ADHD label on him. Poor kids. My kid has been described by early intervention as having ASD tendancies- our doctor disagrees and says he's just immature.

caitlinsmom · August 2010

The whole "red-shirting" for sports makes no sense to me. Where I live sports are bases on age not grade. Some "park & rec" sports in elementary school are grade based but any "club" sport which are the ones that are going to get the child into college are age based so the child would be playing with the kids they should by age and not have the size advantage.

mamarazzi · August 2010

I don't really understand the point in holding a child who meets the cut-off back. Clearly, those standards are in place for a reason -- professionals agreed that that was what the range should be. In the same vein, I don't understand parents who test their children into school early.

I would say most kids aren't 100% "ready" for kindergarten, regardless of their age. Many of the things that make parents think their children aren't ready are things that are worked on. Being a bit of a "goofball" would not be enough reason for me to hold my child back.

shouldbworkin · August 2010

With a 9/1 cut off and Aug bday, I would hold back. But, my DS has an Aug bday and our cut off is 12/1, so he is going. I have gotten some flack for it, but seriously, his bday is more than 3 mos before the cut off! If our cut off was 9/1 and his bday was in May, no one would say to hold him back.

debs1018 · August 2010

mamarazzi:

I don't really understand the point in holding a child who meets the cut-off back. Clearly, those standards are in place for a reason -- professionals agreed that that was what the range should be. In the same vein, I don't understand parents who test their children into school early.

I would say most kids aren't 100% "ready" for kindergarten, regardless of their age. Many of the things that make parents think their children aren't ready are things that are worked on. Being a bit of a "goofball" would not be enough reason for me to hold my child back.

I agree. I never heard of "redshirtting" a kid until the Nest. No one I know IRL has done this. I guess I just dont get it. Yes, there are extreme circumstances, but really, they are probably pretty rare.

care99 · August 2010

Our cutoff is 9/1 (so 8/31 is the last day) and my boys are on either side of it. I have tried and there is no way my older son can start ahead (he is only 5 days past the cutoff) so he will be one of the oldest in his class. Since they are 23 months apart, but my younger one is an August baby, they would be 1 year apart in school if we follow the cutoff. We will hold my youngest back so they are 2 years apart in school. It is very common here to hold back June - August kids, especially boys.

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