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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
sunnyday016
member
NBR: Money/friends issue (long) Help me out please!
sunnyday016
member
Ok, I apologize in advance, but this is going to be long.
This past weekend, I attended a bridal shower for a friend. All the girls who came were my friends from college so it was kind of like a mini-reunion as well. The MOH was insistent on doing a scavenger hunt around the mall, but since she lives out of state, she asked my good friend K to pick up a few gift cards to places around the mall to do the scavenger hunt. K spent about $40+ on these gift cards even though we thought the scavenger hunt was a lame idea, MOH really wanted to do it and promised to reimburse K for all of the gift cards. So, we went along with it because she was going to pay for it.
So, now that it's all said and done, MOH tells K to ask if me and our good friend D can help pay for some of it because she ended up spending a lot more than she expected on food for the party. Our friend D had told MOH from the beginning that she couldn't help out financially with stuff for the party because money is VERY tight for her. I am frustrated because MOH said from the beginning that she was going to pay K back for these gift cards and now she's going back on her word. K is my very good friend, so even if MOH doesn't pay her, I'm going to give K some money so she's not left out to dry. K is such a generous person and I feel like MOH is taking advantage of her.
So, I guess I'm looking for some validation. Should I confront MOH about how's she's treating K? I don't want to be stingy, but it seems to me that MOH owes K the money, not me. She is the one who promised to pay her back, and she should have budgeted better from the start and seen how much all of gift cards plus food was going to cost her. She should have asked from the beginning that K and I help pay for it, and then we could have nixed the scavenger hunt idea before anything was bought and paid for.
Thoughts? Thanks for reading.
S- March 09 E- Feb 12 L- May 15
This discussion has been closed.
Re: NBR: Money/friends issue (long) Help me out please!
OK, wait. How many bridesmaids were there for the party? ALL of you should have chipped in to cover the costs. It's hardly fair for just one person to pay for the whole thing. All the BMs paying a portion is how it normally works. I think it would be nice of you to pay part of it back to K because you should have paid for something anyway.
I can only assume the MOH spent more than $40 on food and whatever other expenses there were, and it sounds like no one else paid for anything. So, no, it's not fair of the MOH to not pay back the person for the $40 she spent when she said she would. But perhaps it would be best just to let it go at this point and not stir up drama since if you'd all just split the costs in the first place, you probably would have paid more than $40 anyway.
Are you friends with the rest of the bridal party? Did all the other girls think the scavanger hunt was a bad idea? If so, I'd talk to the MOH, but I'd also ask at least some of the other girls if they will back you up. Not really to be confrontational, but to get the point across that the scavanger hunt was "her thing", and she should pay for it.
This exactly. I've been in plenty of weddings and everyone in the bridal party chips in for the costs.
The scavenger hunt was for the bride-to-be to pick out things at the mall. A movie, an outfit from Victoria Secret, and whip cream and choco syrup.
Neither K nor I are a part of the wedding party. We were just shower guests. I should have said that in my OP. D is a part of the wedding party, but made it clear from the beginning that she COULDN'T help out with the money.
Ok that makes sense now (about the scavenger hunt). So you guys aren't even in the wedding party?!!! No way, this MOH needs to pay your friend back for sure. If she doesn't, I, like you, would give K some money because that's a sh*tty thing to do to someone. But I would not be nice to the MOH at all.
If it were anyone else, that's exactly what I would do. But in this situation, if I were to do that, K would never be reimbursed. She is so gentle-hearted and generous and I'm sick of people taking advantage of that.
At the risk of sounding harsh. Let K stand up for herself!
If you want to give her $40 give her $40. Unless MOH asks you directly don't offer to pay for anything you don't wan to pay for.
The MOH couldn't google or ask what stores are in your local mall and pick up some GC's in her area? Every mall has a freaking VS. She probably had no intention of paying all along IMO.
I'd probably give K some cash so she isn't stuck with the whole bill and leave it at that. Then when I'm pissy drunk at wedding, embarass the MOH by stealing a mic during the speeches and call her a cheap asss;) kidding....
SO you are telling us that MOH lives in east bumble that has no Vicky's Secret or Suncoast video, or CVS in the mall near her house to buy those things? Hard to believe. That is really crappy of her to use a guest in the way she did of K. I'd probably chip in to to K just so she isn't left footing the bill, AND buying a shower gift.