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How do you deal with family frustrations?

Mrs.S_0909Mrs.S_0909
in North Dakota Babies

I wrote a whole looong post on my blog, but the short of it is this: My family frustrates the heck out of me as far as financial decisions, etc. I'm the oldest so all of the "helping" with planning my parent's future really falls to me. How do you deal with this?  I feel like I don't really have the time or the patience to do it- but I know I have to.My parents did not plan their future/retirement well at all and need help. Anyone else done/doing this?

Any suggestions would be much appreciated!

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Re: How do you deal with family frustrations?

  • katers1279katers1279

    I don't have access to your blog, Katie!!

    I don't know in detail what's happening, but, I do know that I'm having to take on the responsibility with my dad as well.  I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that soon, I'll be the "adult" and will have to take care of him.  Not saying that I don't love him and won't do it, but, it's hard to adapt to the change in roles. 

    Take things slowly and as they come at you.  Don't battle everything head on at once, it'll only intimidate you.  I know there are a few of us that have had to deal with this situation and we can all learn from one another.

    Good luck!

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    Katy and Brett ~ Runaway Bay, Jamaica ~ October 4, 2008

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  • lindeenweddinglindeenwedding member

    I don't have blog access either or any experience with this myself, but wanted to offer (((hugs))) 

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    ~Kimberly & Eric~ April 21, 2008 ~Tensing Pen ~ Negril, Jamaica ~ My Blog: One Sunset at a Time
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  • Buttercup29Buttercup29
    I have a friend going through this right now - her dad is living with them (they just got married) and her mom isn't really helping the situation but plans to move down here as well as they abandon their home. It isn't a fun situation because my friend wants to help, but they also throw her siblings on her as well. She chatted with her prist and he explained that it isn't her role to take care of them - but she can be supportive emotionally. So they are setting a move out date on her dad and hope that as a family, he and her mom can figure out what to do next. I can't imagine going through this and she's had a rough time dealing with all every day for the last 6 months. All I can say is do what you can and lots of hugs to you!
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers imageYet another blog
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  • niuchick21niuchick21

    I need access too! estherkwilliams @gmail.com

    I'm in a similar situation with my Mom.  And when my Dad was still alive I spent a lot of my time taking him to his doc appts and therapy appts and cooking for him etc.  Don't get me wrong, my Mom did A LOT.  But she works a lot.  My brother will do whatever anyone asks of him, but since he's in the military and before that he was in grad school 800 miles away, he's not always around to help with day to day stuff.  My mom is not the greatest with her money, but she tries very hard to be self sufficient and she still works over full time.  That being said BJ and I know that it's our job to "take care of her." I definitely get frustrated with her sometimes, sometimes I'll distance myself from her for a few days, or vent to a friend or DH.  At the end of the day, she's my Mom, she's all alone and she's always done everything I've ever asked her too and I try to remind myself of that when I get frustrated.  Just remind yourself that you're doing it out of love, hopefully that will make you feel better :)

     

    :::hugs:::

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  • Mrs.S_0909Mrs.S_0909

    Katy, Kim, & Esther- you all have blog invites. :)

     

    It's just so frustrating to me- I don't even like going to visit them anymore  because I leave feeling completely overwhelmed. I left last night and went and had a drink with my brother to calm down.

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  • sillybiochemistsillybiochemist

    Sending lots of hugs.  I haven't been in that situation thankfully but know it could eventually be a possibility with my Dad since he ended up on the bad side financially of the divorce with my mom (honestly he should have gotten alimony).  Whether its a long term or not it sounds like you need a plan.  If its long term you may want to talk to someone about the financial aspect of things so you make sure you don't put yourself in a compromising situation financially while helping out your parents.  I'd definitely suggest trying to find someone you trust that you can talk that would be an independent ear to talk to and work things out with that might put less strain on your marriage. 

    Good luck and know we're keeping you in our thoughts.

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