Babies: 3 - 6 Months

Any DH's not changing diapers?

I'm a SAHM with a really great DH proving to be a really great Dad. I knew when we talked about kids he would struggle with diapers. LO is 4 months old and he hasn't changed one, even pee. I'm ok with our set up, he's a supportive, loving, generous, hard working guy that I wouldn't trade but I'm just wondering if we are the only ones with this arrangement?

Re: Any DH's not changing diapers?

  • DH has changed 1 when he watched her mothers day so I could sleep in.  It only bothers me if he tells me she needs to be changed, but for the most part I'm always taking care of her and change her when she needs to be changed.  He does the playing and some feeding.  It works for us
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  • That wouldn't fly around here
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  • Logistically I've never understood how this could work.  Does this mean your husband will never spend more than an hour or so with his child alone before they are potty trained?
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  • imagerobinsokj:
    That wouldn't fly around here

    This.

    But, I have 2 in diapers so I can see where it wouldn't be THAT bad if DH didn't change one...but still, I'd make him get over his diaper fear really fast.  

  • My DH will change diapers; I just usually beat him to it. Also, we use cloth diapers and I think he gets overwhelmed by the variety. We have pockets, AIOs, Flips, fitteds with covers, wool... If I have pockets stuffed and ready to go, he's much more likely to change DS. Otherwise the diapering gets creative!
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  • DH changes almost all the diapers, and we cloth diaper.
  • I'm a SAHM, and I still expect H to change diapers. He has 2 hands, and I'm no more immune to the stench than he is.
  • In the beginning it was a huge help while I was nursing so much to have DH change at least some of the diapers.  Now it's not that big a deal if he does or doesn't, but I would really resent it if he outright refused.  I don't get why so many men are so grossed out by diapers, especially because they love to joke about poop and farts so much.

     

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  • imagerobinsokj:
    That wouldn't fly around here

    This...my husband is loving, supportive, hard working, AND he ASKS to change diapers- when he gets home from work he asks to change all of them- its his way to contribute to LO and spend more quality time with him.

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  • I cloth diaper DH won't come within a mile of changing his diaper!

    Edit: That being said I've always had 2 in diapers and he changes the older kid's diaper which is so much more terrible than baby diapers! I also knew that if I switched to cloth he would be unwilling to change especially since I do prefolds with covers a little more challenging for my neanderthal husband...

  • I'd be pretty pissed if my DH flat out refused to change diapers.  Does this mean you can't leave the baby with him for an hour or two to get your hair done or something because heaven forbid he has to change a diaper?  I'm mad for you.
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  • imagesoutherngirlinNY:
    Logistically I've never understood how this could work.  Does this mean your husband will never spend more than an hour or so with his child alone before they are potty trained?

    Ditto this, and I'm sorry, IMO a great dad is a hands on dad, and that means changing diapers.

    While you might think he's wonderful now, how are you going to feel in 6 months when you're DS is 10 months old and you haven't had a girls night or time alone because he can't be left with your H?

    FTR, I'm SAHM and my H has always been totally hands on.

  • We share this responsibility.  He is more likely to have the feeding and changing diaper shift (9pm-1am) at night after he gets home from work.  Sometimes he will watch Southpark, Family Guy or Jackass while it is his "shift."  This gives me some time to go take a shower or take a nap or just go to bed early.  I take the early morning "shift"--4 am-7am before I go to work. 

    Grandpa and grandma watch him 2 days a week.  Kinda funny, grandma will not change the poopy diapers, only the wet diapers--so grandpa has to change the poopy diapers. 

     

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  • I dont understand how a basic care taker, like a babysitter will spend more alone time with your child than your husband before the age of 3 or so.  Does that make sense to you?

    I also SAH but enjoy leaving on occasion, like I did today to get a pedicure and massage without wondering if my baby needed her diaper changed.

     

     

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  • imageDreamsicle23:
    I'd be pretty pissed if my DH flat out refused to change diapers.  Does this mean you can't leave the baby with him for an hour or two to get your hair done or something because heaven forbid he has to change a diaper?  I'm mad for you.

    Umm, yeah. If my DH refused to change diapers, that wouldn't fly. I just think he's intimidated. If I show him how the diaper works (cloth diapers), he's fine. And he's fine being alone with LO if the pocket diapers are stuffed and ready to go. Otherwise I come home and LO is in a sposie. And once it was on backwards!

    So, I just find it easier to do the diapering myself. DH contributes in other ways. It's just not an issue at our house.

    I suppose it would be like him saying, "My wife never mows the lawn." Well, of course I've mowed the lawn before. It's just that we sort of agree that it's his deal... And it works for us. 

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  • DH changed DS' first diaper and has been changing at least one or two a day since DS was born.  It's part of parenting, IMO. 

    I don't see how you could get away with your arrangement, really.  Like another poster said, is he just not going to be alone with LO for any length of time as long as he's in diapers? 


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  • That def. wouldn't fly in our house.   As a matter of fact, DH changed EVERY diaper in the hospital. I did my first diaper change when we got home, while DH unloaded the truck. DH is a big help, but he just went to night shift, so he isn't home/awake as much so I don't have him do stuff like that the 3 hours we have together. I let him play with DS during that time.
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  • My husband hates changing diapers and tries to get out of it whenever possible, but he certainly can do it. I hosted a bridal shower today and was gone for five hours, so of course he had to change LO's diapers. That would have been sort of ridiculous if I couldn't go to the shower b/c my husband won't change a diaper.
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  • Wow. Changing diapers is part of being a parent. SO is DS's father. Therefore, he changes his diaper whenever necessary.
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  • SO changes diapers but honestly I dont let him change the poop diapers..He's done it about three or four times and he manages to get poop EVERYWHERE..On him, her, the floor, her clothes, the container for the wipes..It's like someone set off a bomb and really I only want to clean poop off one person not two and then some..
  • I can honestly say I feel slightly guilty that, if we calculated it out, DH may change diapers more often than I do. Does that make me a bad mother? Of course, things would be different if DH was working.
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  • imagerobinsokj:
    That wouldn't fly around here

    this.

     

    has your DH never been alone with your kid?

     

    I cannot fathom this. I'm a SAHM and we CD....he still changes diapers.

  • imagesarahlouise11:

    imagerobinsokj:
    That wouldn't fly around here

    This...my husband is loving, supportive, hard working, AND he ASKS to change diapers- when he gets home from work he asks to change all of them- its his way to contribute to LO and spend more quality time with him.

    Ditto this!  When DH is home, he feeds and changes DD's diapers, and gives her a bath.  

     

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